Vinegar as punishment?

[ImHungry]

New and didn't know where to post this. Your board is busy. Drinking while parenting is not. But I just am wondering what people think of this. Lurker off and on but I really wanted to ask this question to moms.

I was talking to my neighbor and she babysits. She also has a 3yr old of her own. 2 of the kids are autistic. She said when the kids (any of them) are bad, she sprays them in the mouth with vinegar. It really bothered me. She doesn't babysit my daughter, I SAH.

Thoughts?

[musiclover]

Terrible, not a good way to parent IMO.

I am not a fan of punishments that don't get the child to think about his/her actions, it just seems mean to me. I am also not a fan of soap in the mouth either.

[ImHungry]

She claims the Dr told her to use vinegar because its safer than soap.

[charmediamsure]

^o) and  :N:

[christidee]

It is pretty disgusting!

[charlielove]

I don't like it and wouldn't do it. I also know someone who puts hot sauce in her 3 year olds mouth as punishment. I got soap in the mouth when I said a "bad" word or was talking back. I just don't agree with the method at all.

[mala]

Um no. I liken this to the case where a caregiver was putting hot sauce on the tongues of kids when they misbehaved. While vinegar won't burn your tongue the way hot sauce will, to me it still ammounts to child abuse.

[musiclover]

My friend/neighbor actually places her 4 year old into the shower when he is really fresh. He HATES the shower and I guess it scares him, so that it was she resorts to.
I don't agree with thta method either. He'll never want to shower when he is older, lol.

[carawestt]

That's awful. I would never do it.

[ImHungry]

The kids are old enough to tell their parents, but I don't know if the autistic kids would. They are 6 and 4 but I don't know their mental ages. I'm completely ignorant about autism. I feel like I should tell their parents but I'm not sure how to go about it.

[mala]

I agree you should tell the parents. Is she licensed in your state? You can report her if she is, and if she isn't you can still report her and tell them she's unlicensed to boot. Try keeping an eye out and catching a parent at drop off or pick up.

[katfco]

Forcing a child to ingest something as punishment is just wrong. Not only could she miss and accidentally spray it in their eyes, but it's a temporary solution. Especially if she does it any time they're bad, it doesn't teach them anything about how to correct the behavior.

Essentially, it's treating the children like cats and dogs, as if a spray bottle will teach them to behave.

[ImHungry]

The 3yr old is her foster son. I'm not sure if she's licensed or not. Is there a way I can look that up by her name?

[carawestt]

That's really sad. It depends on the level of autism that the children have. My friend's autistic son barely speaks, so he wouldn't say anything. I would mention it to the parents.

[mala]

Jun 26, 2013 15:33:08 GMT -5 ImHungry said:

The 3yr old is her foster son. I'm not sure if she's licensed or not. Is there a way I can look that up by her name?

What state do you live in?

[katfco]

Jun 26, 2013 15:33:08 GMT -5 ImHungry said:

The 3yr old is her foster son. I'm not sure if she's licensed or not. Is there a way I can look that up by her name?

She does this to her foster child?? I'm pretty sure that's the kind of thing that can get her child taken away. These kids have suffered enough without having someone force vinegar down their throats.

[AndyCohen]

Jun 26, 2013 15:31:41 GMT -5 mala said:

I agree you should tell the parents. Is she licensed in your state? You can report her if she is, and if she isn't you can still report her and tell them she's unlicensed to boot. Try keeping an eye out and catching a parent at drop off or pick up.

Agreed. If you happen to see one of the parents I would pull them aside and just casually ask if they are aware this is happening. I wouldn't necessarily assume that the parents don't condone it, so just try and word it so its not obvious that you think it's wrong if you want to avoid a confrontation. Maybe just brush it off as something you had never heard of before or something until you know how they feel about it.

[ImHungry]

Jun 26, 2013 15:34:42 GMT -5 mala said:

Jun 26, 2013 15:33:08 GMT -5 ImHungry said:

The 3yr old is her foster son. I'm not sure if she's licensed or not. Is there a way I can look that up by her name?

What state do you live in?

Ohio.

[ImHungry]

Jun 26, 2013 15:35:35 GMT -5 AndyCohen said:

Jun 26, 2013 15:31:41 GMT -5 mala said:

I agree you should tell the parents. Is she licensed in your state? You can report her if she is, and if she isn't you can still report her and tell them she's unlicensed to boot. Try keeping an eye out and catching a parent at drop off or pick up.

Agreed. If you happen to see one of the parents I would pull them aside and just casually ask if they are aware this is happening. I wouldn't necessarily assume that the parents don't condone it, so just try and word it so its not obvious that you think it's wrong if you want to avoid a confrontation. Maybe just brush it off as something you had never heard of before or something until you know how they feel about it.

I haven't paid enough attention to which car picks up the kids. I'll watch to see who picks up the autistic boys. I never really talk to my neighbor but DD sees them out and will go over to say hi now that its been nice out. So I talked to her a couple times this week. It made me realize I will never ask her to watch DD for anything.

[AndyCohen]

Also, the children might not be telling their parents because they probably don't want to tell them they did something to get punished for, you know? I would definitely report her to the state.

[mala]

jfs.ohio.gov/cdc/childcare.stm

Looks like she might not need a license. If you go through the contact us page it looks like you can make a complaint annonamously.

[ImHungry]

Jun 26, 2013 15:43:01 GMT -5 mala said:

jfs.ohio.gov/cdc/childcare.stm

Looks like she might not need a license. If you go through the contact us page it looks like you can make a complaint annonamously.

Thanks for that! I know my mom got soap in her mouth way back in the day....but it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. I don't know anyone who puts soap or anything in their kids mouths other than her. Plus doing it to other people's children is so wrong.

[TrudyCampbell]

I would never, ever do that.

[rjamz]

Jun 26, 2013 15:48:02 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

I would never, ever do that.

This.

It would never even occur to me to do that

[ImHungry]

She used to do soap, but they would have bad diarrhea. She must have talked to the Dr about it, from what she said, and he said to use vinegar. WTF Dr would tell anyone to do that?

[katfco]

I'm in Columbus; you don't need a license for fewer that six kids, but I'm concerned about the foster child. I don't think that is an accepted form of discipline.

[cat19]

I would report her to the state and to the parents of the autistic children. That's messed up.

[UnicornDog]

No, no, and no. Especially not for an autistic child, who may have sensory issues and might be sent into a meltdown by a strong flavor. That's setting a child up for failure and could create an ugly cycle.

My mother did something like this to me, with Tabasco sauce. I assure you that it did nothing good for me.

I hope this is MUD. :N:

[laurack]

This is ridiculous! It doesn't even make sense, how would that ever work.

So, yeah, no.

It's especially bad because of the autistic children, ugh this is horrible.

[katfco]

Jun 26, 2013 20:11:30 GMT -5 laurack said:

This is ridiculous! It doesn't even make sense, how would that ever work.

So, yeah, no.

It's especially bad because of the autistic children, ugh this is horrible.

There are some advocates of stuff like this, called "creative" discipline. Some ultra conservative Christian groups advocate it, like hot saucing. Lisa Welchel (Blair from The Facts of Life) has a book called "Creative Correction" where she advocates it.