WWPBD? Long.

[mala]

OH hell no! 1. your paper needs to come first. 2. don't bend over backward for someone who obviously doesn't put any effort into the friendship. Honestly, I'd call her out on this. Tell her exactly what you've written here. And if she gets mad and call you names, peace out and forget the friendship. She obviously doesn't value her friendship and does not deserve to be friends with such an awesome person as you.

[rjamz]

I wouldn't go see her. Your education is way more important than someone who can't even put in the effort to respond to your text messages until she feels like it. Even an "oh, I'll let you know when we have a better picture of our plans" would be better than not responding.

[katfco]

I'd be inclined to not meet her and maybe even call her on her post. She can't expect you to drop everything and go see her on a moment's notice.

BTW, where in upstate NY? Just curious because my dad's family is in upstate NY near Watertown. The serious middle of nowhere.

[musiclover]

She is a sucky friend, you deserve better. I would not go see her, it's lame that she never gets back to you but then acts so childish when she can't get her way.
Aint nobody got time for that bullshit.

[muppetinma]

If I were you, I'd be done with that. She sounds like a toxic friend and I don't have time for that shit. I'd rather surround myself with kind people. It sucks that you guys have such a history, but she doesn't sound like the person you used to be friends with. Your paper is more important that her feelings. She obviously doesn't care about yours.

[katfco]

Jun 27, 2013 15:44:03 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Jun 27, 2013 15:40:37 GMT -5 katfco said:

I'd be inclined to not meet her and maybe even call her on her post. She can't expect you to drop everything and go see her on a moment's notice.

BTW, where in upstate NY? Just curious because my dad's family is in upstate NY near Watertown. The serious middle of nowhere.

Haha!  That is why I wrote upstate-ish because it is only two hours north of the city so it really isn't upstate to me.  BUT, to NYC people, anything above 125th street is upstate

But seriously, Watertown is nearly Canada. 

I know. He actually grew up in the village of Fine, in the township of Fine, in the middle of nowhere. Google Fine, NY and you'll see. We were driving there once, took a wrong turn and didn't realize it until we saw the sign that said, "Welcome to Canada."

[musiclover]

I have had "friends" like this and cut them loose many years ago, they are no longer worth my time. These are fairweather friends, friends of convenience. Not worth it. You are too awesome to be treated like this.

[rjamz]

Jun 27, 2013 15:44:03 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Jun 27, 2013 15:40:37 GMT -5 katfco said:

I'd be inclined to not meet her and maybe even call her on her post. She can't expect you to drop everything and go see her on a moment's notice.

BTW, where in upstate NY? Just curious because my dad's family is in upstate NY near Watertown. The serious middle of nowhere.

Haha!  That is why I wrote upstate-ish because it is only two hours north of the city so it really isn't upstate to me.  BUT, to NYC people, anything above 125th street is upstate

But seriously, Watertown is nearly Canada. 

For realz. Have you ever been to Fort Tryon Park? It's like the country up there!

But really, we should to a gtg at the Cloisters one day

[claralou]

No. I understand why you feel badly about this, but you're the only one making an effort here. Send her an email saying exactly what you said above, and stay home.

[melis74]

Sounds like one of my old friends. I eventually cut her off and I would suggest you do the same. You put yourself out there multiple times and her behavior was totally craptastic. Work on your paper, spend time w/your beautiful babes and don't waste a second thinking of her.

[skwcm80]

I haven't read the responses, but I wouldn't go even if I didn't have a paper to work on. You have given her multiple opportunities to work out a time to meet and she didn't take advantage of them. I do not have time for people who don't have time for me. She sucks, I'm sorry.

[rjamz]

Jun 27, 2013 16:03:27 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Jun 27, 2013 15:47:59 GMT -5 rjamz said:

For realz. Have you ever been to Fort Tryon Park? It's like the country up there!

But really, we should to a gtg at the Cloisters one day

I am all for this. I am required to work one Saturday a month and i can take any day off during the week. Let's schedule something. I would love to hang out with you and Jaime again!

Yay! Sounds good!

[jaime183]

I wouldn't go because of the paper and last minute info. If she would've responded to you originally you could've planned ahead with your paper.

Although I wouldn't expect her to come see you. When you are going home and have limited time- a 2 hour drive isn't easy either. We live across the country and it's hard enough seeing everyone when we get back

[kkfeb04]

I honestly wouldn't go. She didn't have the decency to see if you were available. Tough shit. Besides if you truly were available, you would be coming to Hershey.

[kemangel124]

Just curious...does she have children? I had a friend like this and came to find out, when I called her on her shit, that she just didn't want to bother with me now that I have kids...like I am somehow toxic now.


Andplusalso, she probably knows that you despise her husband so she is "attempting" to get together when she really doesn't really want it to occur. Whatever her craptastic reason is, I'm sorry, you deserve much better!

[UnicornDog]

Is there any way you guys can meet somewhere in the middle?

[thedahliharpa]

I would and think you should decline but you can do so in a way that either leaves the door open for later in life or allows the relationship to peacefully putter out. It doesn't have to be all bam bitch! With a gusto.

[ruby412]

Jun 27, 2013 17:40:09 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I would and think you should decline but you can do so in a way that either leaves the door open for later in life or allows the relationship to peacefully putter out. It doesn't have to be all bam bitch! With a gusto.

Agree. Decline a get together kindly and leave it open to a future friendship. I'm a big believer in not burning bridges. But I do think your friend is acting super lame.

[Regina Philange]

You don't know for sure if the status was directed towards you. I mean you made way more effort then she did. But that's besides the point. Write your paper and put yourself first. You still can see her next weekend right?

[kdrake8]

Wait... What?!?!

Are you sure her vague book was about you??

I wouldn't waste time on this girl. Sounds like its been a longggg time since you were friends, she didn't attempt to make plans until last min, and she expects you to put in all the effort. I would not bother this time or any other time. Has she positively added to your life in any way over the last 10-ish years?

[musiclover]

Jun 27, 2013 15:53:29 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Jun 27, 2013 15:47:26 GMT -5 musiclover said:

I have had "friends" like this and cut them loose many years ago, they are no longer worth my time. These are fairweather friends, friends of convenience. Not worth it. You are too awesome to be treated like this.

I know you are right but this whole thing makes me sad.  Most of the time I am just in denial about it.  We hung out almost every single day for years.  She lived with me for two semesters while she was going to college.  I was a bridesmaid in her wedding.  She flew to Vegas for mine.  There are so memories there and it hurts me that she just let the friendship die when she met her husband.  I have tried to keep it going but...I don't even know.  I am sad. 

I hear ya, trust me. I lost two best friend and a sister to things like this. I just got so tired of these three people not putting in their share of the work to maintain the relationships and eventually they fizzled out. Lack of communication from them was a huge player in the demise of these friendships. I very much think of two of them quite often, but stand by the fact that for me it was best to part ways as opposed to the constant disappointment and sadness they gave me. So sorry you are in this situation, it's not fair. My one BFF and I were so incredibly close too, it still hurts and this was like 12 years ago.

[joyhart02]

I did not read the other responses but my vote is no. I would be too irritated with her behavior and really would not continue the friendship because she seems to take you for granted that she just expects you to drop everything and see her when she wants. Nope. 

If you really want to see her can you meet halfway somewhere for lunch or something?

[musiclover]

Jun 28, 2013 13:20:15 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

So I offered to meet at a mall for lunch on Saturday. It is about 40 mins drive for her. Even though yesterday she told me tat she completely free on Saturday now she has a BBQ she HAS to attend. She asked if I could please please please drive up to the BBQ because she BADLY wants to see me.

Humph! Guess that is it then.

ugh...sorry, lady.
Friendships are give and take, not Take & Take & Take.