Need T&Ps for my brother

[katfco]

I'm really worried about my brother. He has Asperger's and Tourette's, so as you can imagine, things are difficult for him. He never really got the help he needed, and he seems to have latched onto the idea that he's a victim of life and is never going to hold any kind of job and it's not his fault. His wife has a similar viewpoint. I know some of his problems are caused by his disorders, but it also seems like he uses them as an excuse for not attempting anything.

I know he struggles, and my mom, sister and I have really no idea how to help him. He seems to think his family has turned their backs on him because we don't help him out anymore. As far as they're concerned, their lives are the worst.

Today he posted on FB "Someone kill me now. I want to die." He's had suicidal thoughts before, and it always worries me. Sometimes I think it's to get attention and validation, but I just can't see him as a middle-aged man. I can't picture what his life is going to become. He's going to be 30 this year. This time it's because they're on the verge of homelessness again.

I just don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't want to hear what I have to say. He doesn't really want to hear what anyone has to say other than, "Here have some money. You've done everything you can."

My sister and I talked about this a few months ago. We're both kind of to the point where we're just waiting for the phone call and I hate feeling that way about my brother.

Thanks for listening.

[unclejesse]

I wish I had advice, but I can only offer you e-hugs. I hope your brother can realize he needs help and gets it.

[charlielove]

I'm so sorry, what a difficult situation. At his age, he really needs to help himself. And to do that, maybe he needs to hit rock bottom to possibly figure that out. You can only be supportive of him and let him know you are there for emotional support. It's his choice to take it or leave it.

I know you know all of that, but I know sometimes we all need reminders.

[thedahliharpa]

I'm sorry, that's hard. I've had to deal with similar issues with family and it does reach a point where sometimes stepping back and letting go, very well knowing the worst may happen, IS all you can do.

[shevacc]

I'm sorry katfco . I agree with PPs that you're doing the right thing by letting him sort it out. I hope for his sake and yours that he makes some positive changes soon.

[melis74]

I'm so sorry. I've had similar family issues and it sucks. You know you've done everything you can do without putting further strain on your own family. I truly hope that he changes his thinking and gets the help he needs. I will keep all of you in my T & P. Have you had him baker acted before when he's said/done things like this? It came to that in my situation.

[katfco]

Thanks everyone. I've tried suggesting a couple of openings I found with a quick search, but they insist that a) no one is hiring and b) no one would hire him because of his disability. There is some truth to both, but they just have this idea in their heads that it's not going to change. She also insists that "walking distance" for her is very short because she doesn't sweat, so she can't walk far in the heat.

I get the frustration over not having a job, I really do, as I don't have one myself, but they have such a defeatist attitude about it all.

[katfco]

Jun 28, 2013 16:41:55 GMT -5 melis74 said:

I'm so sorry. I've had similar family issues and it sucks. You know you've done everything you can do without putting further strain on your own family. I truly hope that he changes his thinking and gets the help he needs. I will keep all of you in my T & P. Have you had him baker acted before when he's said/done things like this? It came to that in my situation.

I know this is a question, but to be honest, I have no idea what you're asking.

[melis74]

When someone poses a danger to themselves you can contact the authorities. The "baker act" is a 72 hour hold for mental evaluation. So if you thought he might really be thinking of that. I hope that is not the case though.

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using proboards

[katfco]

Jun 28, 2013 18:17:24 GMT -5 melis74 said:

When someone poses a danger to themselves you can contact the authorities. The "baker act" is a 72 hour hold for mental evaluation. So if you thought he might really be thinking of that. I hope that is not the case though.

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using proboards

Okay, thanks. I know he's had himself held for observation before, but I don't feel comfortable doing that. Plus, he's in Arkansas and I'm in Ohio and not next of kin.