Cave zip lining sounds really cool. But my eyeballs are huge right noe at the level of control MIL has over everyone. They sound weirdly over involved in each others lives.
I think you and DH need to have a talk about the future, your busy lives, and how much time you actually have available to vacation w/ his family. 4 times in one year is a LOT. A LOT. Even if you really liked them and wanted to see them, which makes it worse that they are as enmeshed as they are and you don't really particularily want to go.
Something needs to change. Traditions do die out sometimes. You all don't HAVE to go on all these mystery trips just because that's how they've always done it.
I'm surprised that your DH and his siblings don't think it's weird. I mean, you see them all the time, and you go on four trips a year together - why aren't these people sick of their parents?!
He has one younger sister and she and MIL are "best friends" - to the extent that MIL has to be all up in her business about SIL's dating life or else she refuses to babysit for her (SIL is a single mom). And then there's a cousin who is afraid to go anywhere without her mother, and then her mother, and the cousin's husband who has almost no family of his own. Then H's parents, and sometimes a grandparent or two, and that's the group. So no, no one thought it was weird until I started refusing to go one these things when they were for several days right before Christmas, because you know, I have my family too. I think MIL is still realizing that - every holiday was a nightmare while H and I were dating.
::nods head:: Yes, I know this situation.
My short and sweet opinion, do what you and Mr. Pigs want, and let them get mad at you. I've discovered that I will never want to be as close as MIL would like, not to mention I have my own people that I need to see occasionally... so I just tell her no 3/4 of the time and let her stew.
And ask Mr. Pigs WTF was up with his "this is the second time I'VE had to pay for your cancelled ticket" comment. I don't recall you two being being all his and hers... but I don't have Kuus' memory either.
And ask Mr. Pigs WTF was up with his "this is the second time I'VE had to pay for your cancelled ticket" comment. I don't recall you two being being all his and hers... but I don't have Kuus' memory either.
No, this is unusual for him. He's upset about something, and not able to articulate it, IMO.
And ask Mr. Pigs WTF was up with his "this is the second time I'VE had to pay for your cancelled ticket" comment. I don't recall you two being being all his and hers... but I don't have Kuus' memory either.
No, this is unusual for him. He's upset about something, and not able to articulate it, IMO.
He probably feels just as bad as I do, or worse, for forgetting about the date, but I'd like to think he's starting to see how much of a PITA these trips are. He seems like he does, but he still feels kind of obligated. He's too dutiful sometimes, and that's fine because he can go all he wants - I just don't need to.
Go, enjoy your research, and forget about the crazy MIL for a little while.
Then sit your H down and have a real, serious talk about this and any superfun family trips going forward. It will be much easier to figure this out in the future if you're both able to articulate compromises about this, and how you really feel.
Why mystery though? Can't they just say "who wants to go cave zip lining?" Do they tell you what to wear and how much it is going to cost? This is just lame.
Even though he wasn't on the trip where your MIL was totally out of line he should have let her know treating/speaking to you in that manner would not be tolerated. This is still bothering you and it would be easier to let it slide if you knew he was on your side. This would make me more irritable than the pay for your ticket comment.
Plan a mystery date for him and try to reconnect after your weekend apart. Good luck on your thesis.
If I were in your shoes I would go on your museum thing and say I'm sorry this is the only time I can go and I have to do this to finish the degree....
Then... I would have a LONG talk with DH to make sure that he's on my side and he needs to learn to speak up to his mother. You're his wife, he needs to support you.