Mothers and Body Image

[niq]

Jul 3, 2013 14:18:41 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

I hope that for our children, boys or girls, that I lead by example with healthy habits and a health self-image, where the focus is not on being thin and beautiful, but being healthy, smart, kind, and confident.

This is a super touchy topic so I basically try not to. When I do, which is basically when asked, I try to talk about it like this. There is an ideal body type for men and boys (and men!) who are weak/wimpy/sissy get made fun of, but it is not the same at all.

Msniq has gotten more self-conscious about weight and overall health since get got KTFU. Or maybe ... the same level of self-conscious but will actually mention it to me now. Both of us get some exercise by walking a bit more than your average person, but it's probably not enough.



... Oh, look, there's my 12" sub from Tat's Deli. Well, maybe the second half will be dinner.

[dana86]

My mom was horrible about this as I grew up. She was definitely a yo-yo dieter always trying new fad pills or whatever. It wasn't until I was older that I understood it was still her laziness taht made her how she was (she is not fat really but she is a little bigger) She was always one that wanted the easy way out for dropping lbs instead of actually working out. It actually gave me a horrible sense of body imagine growing up because of how she was. I'm very self-consious of myself but I am working on it for the sake of M and any other future kids. I work out and try to eat right.

H never went through the same situation growing up. He will be a great example for our kids since he loves everything about me and only says nice loving things which I love about him. I'm just working on being better at taking the compliments on how I look even if I might not agree sometimes.

[Deleted]

I look back at pictures of me in high school and college and I was THIN yet I constantly thought I was overweight/chubby. It goes back to when I was 13, going through puberty, and my mother sat me down for a SERIOUS talk where she was concerned I was depressed because I had gained "a lot" of weight...yeah, I went from 109 to 114 over the course of a few months WHILE GOING THROUGH PUBERTY!! Holy crap, I still hold anger over this. So that proceeded to make me think I was heavy or overweight from then on.

I developed that soft little pouch MOST women have but thought that was proof I was fat. When I got dressed for graduation, my mother said, "you're not going to wear THAT are you?" with a look that said I looked too fat. Yeah, I weighed 118 at the time! Every time she saw me in college, she commented on my weight and that I had gained some until I finally bellowed at her about it. Then she tried to make a comment every time she saw me that I looked like I had lost weight until I bellowed that my weight should not ever be the topic of conversation and not her place to comment on! Damage was done already.

I've been having a hard time this week, feeling extra chubby and I do know for a fact I'm carrying extra weight now but I can't find the motivation to do anything about it. I'm a size 10 pushing into 12...and feel like a huge hippo (which, can you blame me when my mother made me feel like a hippo when I weighed 118?!). Looking back, we had one of those weird doctor-type scales with the weight that you slid, so I could see what she was weighing. I think that coincided with her bumping up in weight and taking it out on me.

I've thought a lot about his, and it isn't just being able to refrain from making comments about others or comments aimed at the children. That article is right, it's also in how we view ourselves that our children will learn and internalize. I have a friend who is supremely self-confident and HAPPY and RIGHT in her skin and I look at her, and I envy her. Not her looks or her weight, but her contentment and self-acceptance and I marvel at how lucky her daughter is, to have her mother and that attitude as her role model.

[Deleted]

My mom never really called herself fat in front of my sister and I that I remember. But when you only saw your mom on birthdays, holidays, and the one weekend a month she could take off work to have you for the weekend, it really didn't come up much around her. My grandma on the other hand was always telling us that we didn't want to end up like our mom. She had lots of health issues and was severely overweight. Once her longtime boyfriend passed away in 2007 she started taking charge and lost a lot of weight. When I got married she told me that the only way that I'd look good in a wedding dress was if I lost 50lbs. I was 150 or 155 at the time. But I constantly feel like I'm being watched for my weight when I'm around both of them. I've never really been one to worry about my weight though but when I'm around them they always make me feel self conscious about anything and everything.

[jennlin]

i like to rebel...when my mom tells me not to eat something bc it'll make me fat, i eat more of it. i can't help it.

my mom definitely had this "issue", and it's pretty much engrained in our culture that you speak your mind about what someone's body "should* look like. i've never been skinny, and am constantly reminded by my family, and now my IL's. these days, i don't care, but when i was younger, it definitely wasn't the best for me.

[sarack]

my parents always told me I was beautiful and intelligent and never talked about weight. when I realized that iw as almost 400, I was kinda upset no one ever 'told' me. I just didn't realize. to some of you, that may seem crazy, but your weight just gets away from you, especially when you're 'pretty' and people always remind you of it.

anyway, I started hating my body the smaller I've gotten. which is terrible.

most of my friends whose parents always talked about weight have horrible body image.

I do not want to pass this on... so hopefully I can get skinny asap after babies come and then just keep it up. without being obsessed.. like I normally have been. wish me luck.

[sarack]

ohhhhh, also, recently a friend's kid said to her, look, i'm just eating my broccoli so i'll be skinny.

although it is funny for a toddler to say.. it's obvious some one has mentioned this in connection with wanting to be skinny... gets me worried.