Would you have handled this differently? (Guys)

[letyourselfgo]

I live in this apartment complex that is next door to a strip mall. My favorite bar is there, and I go in there about once a week, usually for karaoke on Saturday nights with my friends.

After riding my bike through the neighborhood for awhile in an effort to start exercising and shedding weight , I felt like having a Midori+ Peach Schnapps and Sprite and they're $5.00. So, I go to the bar. Alone. Which is almost unheard of for me.

I bought myself the drink and let go for a minute, sipping and listening to the music. The next minute, this guy, maybe in his late forties or early fifties sidles up to me and starts talking to me. I'm pretty polite.....but I mostly gave the impression of "Hi. I don't want to be bothered....please, go." He didn't get the hint. So, I got up, said "I need to go" and walked home.

I wait five minutes, then walk back. He's still there, and says something about how I'm a sight for sore eyes. He offers to buy me a drink. I turned him down, saying that the one that I had was quite fine, but thanks anyway.

I finished my drink, said thanks to the bartender, and went home.

I'm not used to men hitting on me, because usually....men ignore me....but I guess that I need to learn how to deal with it. Especially because I am trying to be on my own.....and nix past habits.

Would you have handled this differently?

[lookingup]

If you just weren't interested in him, I would have said something like "I'm not looking for any company tonight. Maybe I'll see you around sometime." That's the nicest way I can think of to blow someone off. Good for you though for going outside your comfort zone!

[bullygirl979]

Jun 15, 2012 1:25:22 GMT -5 lookingup said:

If you just weren't interested in him, I would have said something like "I'm not looking for any company tonight. Maybe I'll see you around sometime." That's the nicest way I can think of to blow someone off. Good for you though for going outside your comfort zone!

ITA. Or you could say "I really came to listen to the music. Thanks for the drink offer but I am not really interested."

Good for you for going out!

[Deleted]

Jun 15, 2012 1:25:22 GMT -5 lookingup said:

If you just weren't interested in him, I would have said something like "I'm not looking for any company tonight. Maybe I'll see you around sometime." That's the nicest way I can think of to blow someone off. Good for you though for going outside your comfort zone!

:Y:

This!

[gozf]

You actually walked home and then returned? And then came back and picked up the same drink?

I wouldn't have actually left the premises. I'd have said something along the lines of what the others posted. It's also really not a good idea to leave drinks unattended in public and then come back and consume them.

If you plan to go out alone in the future, bring a book. Having a book will send the message that you're not actually looking for conversation, even though you're out and about.

[doriswe]

Jun 15, 2012 8:11:26 GMT -5 gozf said:

You actually walked home and then returned? And then came back and picked up the same drink?

I wouldn't have actually left the premises. I'd have said something along the lines of what the others posted. It's also really not a good idea to leave drinks unattended in public and then come back and consume them.

If you plan to go out alone in the future, bring a book. Having a book will send the message that you're not actually looking for conversation, even though you're out and about.

I agree with GOZF on this one.

[stephbfan]

Jun 15, 2012 8:11:26 GMT -5 gozf said:

You actually walked home and then returned? And then came back and picked up the same drink?

I wouldn't have actually left the premises.

This is what I was thinking! Why would you go out and then come back. You just tell you that you are not looking for company. If he doesn't get the hit, maybe you sit somewhere else. But leaving? Maybe I'm too lazy but I don't see the point.

[letyourselfgo]

Yeah, the book idea is a good one. and the drink unattended thing.....don't know what I was thinking.

I do live like a forty five second walk from this bar (and my manicurist too), so going and coming back is something that I do a lot of....but it this stitch, I'd like to get the balls to say "Not interested!", and being a bit more assertive about that would be helpful.