I'm sneaking food

[runblondie26]

This isn’t a problem so much during the week when I'm at work, as it is when I’m alone with DD on the weekends.

I’m more of a grazer who likes to snack throughout the day rather than sit down to eat full meals. DD’s at the age now where she’s very aware to everything I do, and wants to have whatever I’m eating.

I’m eating well within my dietary needs, but DD isn’t a grown woman training for a marathon. She doesn’t need to be eating every time I am, even if it’s “healthy stuff”.

I’m worried I’m setting her up with bad habits, so I’m trying to get myself on the same "3 meals, one afternoon snack" schedule she is on. However I still find myself sneaking off to the laundry room to snarf down a quick snack or a little dessert after dinner (yes, she's very keen to the fact her her bowl of yogurt isn’t the quite the same as the vanilla ice cream in mommy’s).

Any other moms have a similar issue?

[Deleted]

My goal is to teach my kid to eat when he's hungry and until he's full, not to only eat 4 x a day. And I don't really have a problem with giving him an appropriate portion of what I'm having - at this point, I can still get away with the yogurt at ice cream time, but when I can't... well, ice cream is not the enemy. I would just try to follow good mindful eating rules for both of you - eat at a table, sitting down, no TV.

Does your DD have weight issues? Or are you just pre-emptively concerned?

[IIOY]

Well shit, I lost my long-ass response that I had typed out. >-(

Short answer: I fully appreciate what you are saying and have this issue with my DD.

Long(er) answer: my DD is 6 so I have an open and ongoing dialogue with her about healthy eating and the differing nutritional needs of children and adults. I don't know how old your DD is so this may not be helpful to you.

This is one of those issues that, had I read about it prior to having kids, would have struck me as a bit silly. Now that I'm in the thick of it, I do appreciate the issues presented.

[runblondie26]

Jun 15, 2012 12:37:23 GMT -5 IIOY said:

Well shit, I lost my long-ass response that I had typed out. >-(

Short answer: I fully appreciate what you are saying and have this issue with my DD.

Long(er) answer: my DD is 6 so I have an open and ongoing dialogue with her about healthy eating and the differing nutritional needs of children and adults. I don't know how old your DD is so this may not be helpful to you.

This is one of those issues that, had I read about it prior to having kids, would have struck me as a bit silly. Now that I'm in the thick of it, I do appreciate the issues presented.

Yeah, my daughter is almost 3 1/2, so we're not really at the "dialogue phase" yet It's kind hard to explain "Well mommy just ran 12 miles, she needs to eat this extra bowl of cereal and you don't." Instead I hide, and shovel it down real fast before she can see me and throw a fit.

Not really sure if there's much else I can do at this age. There's no reasoning with a toddler. It's good to know by 6 you're able to have those type of discussions. Makes me feel a little less crazy knowing I'm not the only person who's experienced this.

[Deleted]

Why can't she have a very small serving of cereal and join you? Or will she just want to eat yours when hers is gone? I don't think children will over eat healthy food if they know they can have it when ever they want.

[runblondie26]

Well that's what I was doing. Either giving her a small portion of her own, or letting her have bites of mine.

I know her hunger and calorie needs are no where near what mine are. It worries me that I'm setting her up to expect food that frequently and overeat when she isn't truly hungry.

[writingwithheld]

I think it is a valid concern, too. I have no children so I have no advice. It seems like kind of a six of one/half dozen of the other thing. If you just give her food whenever you are eating she could start to eat more often than when she is hungry which is not healthy. However, as someone who has had some eating issues in the past the whole "hiding" the fact that you are eating strikes me as an unhealthy example for her to follow as well. Personally, I would think it safer to let her eat with you but really try to control the portions and maybe ask before, during, and after if she is hungry/full. When you are finished you could emphasize that it is because you are full. Leaving a bit of cereal in your bowl after each snack could show her the difference between eating because it is fun and eating because your body needs it. Again, I have no kids so I could be totally out of line, but I would be fearful of the possible impression of eating=shame that hiding your snacking could make.

[gumi]

haha, I am hiding in the office eating a snack.

The thing with me is I have two. And no matter what, they want what I am eating and they want all of it. In my head I am always thinking, Come on guys, you didnt run 10 miles today! Let me eat something!

Their eating schedule is way different than mine so I totally get your concern. I dont eat everytime they eat (they have a lot of snacks) and sometimes I need to eat a time they dont need to eat.

Sometimes I will offer them carrots - that is a true test of their hunger. If they are sincerely hungry, they will eat the carrots. If they are not hungry, they turn their nose up and leave.

[IIOY]

Jun 15, 2012 17:34:15 GMT -5 writingwithheld said:

Personally, I would think it safer to let her eat with you but really try to control the portions and maybe ask before, during, and after if she is hungry/full. When you are finished you could emphasize that it is because you are full. Leaving a bit of cereal in your bowl after each snack could show her the difference between eating because it is fun and eating because your body needs it.

I like this idea quite a bit and may start leaving small amounts of food on my plate in front of DD.

ETA: I also do gumi's carrot trick, using various veggies. When my kids complain they are hungry when I know they shouldn't be, I offer veggies. Sometimes they eat them (actual hunger) and sometimes they don't. I have to tolerate whining and the occasional tantrum but I put my foot down and shortly thereafter they give up and go play Legos.

[gumi]

Jun 15, 2012 17:34:15 GMT -5 writingwithheld said:

Again, I have no kids so I could be totally out of line, but I would be fearful of the possible impression of eating=shame that hiding your snacking could make.

But isnt taht the point of hiding - so her daughter doesnt know she is eating?

Toddlers, at least mine, are like little animals. You know your dog that will walk around your ankles while you eat something and constantly beg? So you give them a bite and then they beg more? Yeah - that is a 2 year old.

I think young kids can grasp the concept of healthy foods, moderation, portion sizes, food = fuel, hunger, etc. But toddlers? Yesterday my son pooped in the bathtub that he was sharing with his sister - like I said, animal!

[runblondie26]

Jun 15, 2012 18:40:59 GMT -5 gumi said:

Jun 15, 2012 17:34:15 GMT -5 writingwithheld said:

Again, I have no kids so I could be totally out of line, but I would be fearful of the possible impression of eating=shame that hiding your snacking could make.

But isnt taht the point of hiding - so her daughter doesnt know she is eating?

Toddlers, at least mine, are like little animals. You know your dog that will walk around your ankles while you eat something and constantly beg? So you give them a bite and then they beg more? Yeah - that is a 2 year old.

I think young kids can grasp the concept of healthy foods, moderation, portion sizes, food = fuel, hunger, etc. But toddlers? Yesterday my son pooped in the bathtub that he was sharing with his sister - like I said, animal!

Haha, so true.

Good to know I'm not the only one raising a little velociraptor

[Deleted]

I know my son is young, but my hope is to keep him plugged into his animal instincts. He doesn't over eat now. He eats what he wants and throws the rest on the floor.

We did baby-led weaning and I totally trust him to eat what he needs. No more, no less.

[gumi]

Jun 15, 2012 20:50:07 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I know my son is young, but my hope is to keep him plugged into his animal instincts. He doesn't over eat now. He eats what he wants and throws the rest on the floor.

We did baby-led weaning and I totally trust him to eat what he needs. No more, no less.

yup, kids totally stop licking the ice cream cone when they are not hungry i hate to say just wait, but just wait....lol.

I will also say that my kids are pretty good about stopping when they are full. They are animals, not gluttons. But they are also "monkey see, monkey do" so when they see me eating, they want to eat, even if they are not hungry. Especially if its something appealing. That is just normal kid behavior.

One of the things I miss most about my kid-pre days is being able to get an ice cream cone and not have to share it. The things I took for granted!

[kams]

Jun 15, 2012 19:03:25 GMT -5 runblondie26 said:

Jun 15, 2012 18:40:59 GMT -5 gumi said:

But isnt taht the point of hiding - so her daughter doesnt know she is eating?

Toddlers, at least mine, are like little animals. You know your dog that will walk around your ankles while you eat something and constantly beg? So you give them a bite and then they beg more? Yeah - that is a 2 year old.

I think young kids can grasp the concept of healthy foods, moderation, portion sizes, food = fuel, hunger, etc. But toddlers? Yesterday my son pooped in the bathtub that he was sharing with his sister - like I said, animal!

Haha, so true.

Good to know I'm not the only one raising a little velociraptor

Yes! Toddler moms unite! In the closet...with a carton of mint chocolate chip

[mommainthesouth]

Unless its sweets/junk food, kids typically self-regulate- you don't have to worry about over eating. Junk food is of course a different story. I can remember when my son was younger "sneaking" sugary food that I didn't want him to have, or waiting until after his bedtime. Now he's six so it's not really an issue anymore.

[IIOY]

Jun 15, 2012 22:20:19 GMT -5 gumi said:

Jun 15, 2012 20:50:07 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I know my son is young, but my hope is to keep him plugged into his animal instincts. He doesn't over eat now. He eats what he wants and throws the rest on the floor.

We did baby-led weaning and I totally trust him to eat what he needs. No more, no less.

yup, kids totally stop licking the ice cream cone when they are not hungry i hate to say just wait, but just wait....lol.

Ditto. All little kids self-regulate. It's when they get a bit bigger that sugar becomes a trigger food for many and self-regulation goes out the window.

However, I will say that boys do seem to be better about it than girls. My son is nearly 5 and continues to be pretty good at walking away from any given food, even his favorites. When I talk to other parents, they often - but not always - tell me that it's their girls who would eat sugary crap all day long if given the chance and their boys who can walk away, mostly because they'd rather be playing than eating.

[taratru]

I know she's little, but I'm a big fan of starting that honesty thing early. She may not know what "mommy's body needs more food than yours because she's bigger and running a looooong way, so Mommy gets some extra/different food even though you don't right now" but if she grows up hearing it, when she does understand it, you won't have any transition.

Does that even make sense? I'm brain-fried after a week of scoring essays.

[Deleted]

Gee, do you think part of it is that we don't feed babies junk food?

[gumi]

Jun 16, 2012 9:18:30 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Gee, do you think part of it is that we don't feed babies junk food?

I think its developmental. My kids didnt start caring for sweets until pretty recently. Like, I gave them cake for their first birthday and they maybe took a small bite of icing, but that's it. And I gave them ice cream on their 2nd birthday but they were not enthralled with that, either.

I am 100% for education at a very young age, dont get me wrong. But their brains are developed enough yet for reasoning so even though I can preach it, I still need to moderate for them. And sometimes, that involves hiding, lol.

I totally agree with the boy vs girl thing, too. My son is very busy and is more likely to play instead of eat whereas my DD is never too busy for food.

I did babyled weaning and made all my kids food. They had veggies that many adults have never heard of before they turned 1. And I do think they eat really healthy for toddlers, they can tear up a salad bar. But, at the same time, they are 2.75 years old and that is how they act.

We were just at a birthday party where there was cake and cookies. I think one good approach to teach moderation at a very young age is to give them options. Instead of letting them have a cake and cookie, I let them choose between the two. Most mothers did the same thing - no kids had a cookie!

[foundmylazybum]

I don't have a kid..but I've been around them at the same age as Blondie and Gumi's littles...

A kid doesn't even develop things like conservation of mass (hey 1 cup of something = 1 cup of something) until they are between 6 and 7 years of age.

I think the point about baby gumi pooping in bathtub ( :-| ) is a valid point as well. Meet your kid where they are at.

It seems it would be a difficult "conversation'' to have with a toddler about how mom is "training" for a "race" and so she eats more--probably the one thing a kid that age DOES get (routines and food)

Personally--I have no idea how to even explain that situation--except that I know little Em goes to races with you and has done stroller races with you so she's familiar with the concept. That might be one way to introduce it "Mom's eating so she can push the stroller, but you already ate--you are ready to ride like the wind" or something like that.

Another thing you could try is logistically boosting up some of your caloric intake when she eats:

So at meal time---say breakfast, eat the cereal but also have a slice of toast or fruit. That *might* help tide you over so you aren't sneaking (as much).

Another thing you could do is switch her meals around just a little bit--for example, have a lighter breakfast so she can enjoy a snack with you later.

Personally, I disagree with just letting her graze with you throughout the day. Her nutritional needs are not the same as yours and you are essentially eating for purpose--due to mileage. What is the purpose of her eating? To show her it's "okay?"

She isn't going to get the "purpose." She'll get the eating but not the concept.

[wildfloweragain]

I have 3 kids and none of them ever wanted a snack because I was eating. Sometimes they tell me they are hungry and I get them a snack. We pretty much only have healthy food here, so for the most part, food is food. If I need some because of working out or whatever, it's not a big deal. When DH comes in from mowing lawn, etc. and grabs a gatorade or cheese and crackers, the kids don't ask for it.
However we do have ice cream and I'm tempted to snack on that. I could see that being unfair/contradictory to what we teach. I have been known to have an ice cream sandwich while the kids are napping. I'd feel guilty if I told them it was not a dessert day and then had one myself. So if I got caught having a naptime dessert that they didn't get, I'd be honest, either tell them why I was having one or say they're right.
The 2 yr old has never asked for food I have, unless you count blueberries, her fave. And if so, I give them to her.

[runblondie26]

Snacker unite! Glad to see I'm not the only toddler mom brushing crumbs out of their closet, lol.

I was always under the impression young kids self-regulated when it came to food as well. I don't want to upset that mechanism, so I'll continue to try and get myself on her schedule. I agree, it's probably more of a "monkey see, monkey do" situation here than actually wanting the food. Even if I'm comping on carrot sticks, she still needs to be up in my business to see what I'm doing.