Help me support my sister.

[CallingAllAngels]

My sister has gained about 80 lbs in the past two years.  She has a lot of digestive issues, which I think plays a part in it, but she overeats.  A lot.  She has seen doctors, nutritionists, etc. but not lost any weight.  I feel really badly for her because she feels badly about herself.  I want to be supportive.  I also have a history of treating her more like my daughter than my friend.  I love her but she can be kind of a dope, and I can be kind of a know-it-all around her.  I am trying to work on this.

She says she has been running and can run a 5K at a 15mm pace.  She did a sprint triathlon (225 yard swim, 8 mile bike ride, 2 mile run) with me over the weekend.  She finished and did fine even though she had some problems with her bike.  She wants to do a fall half marathon.  She asked me to do one with her in late October, the weekend after the half I am already signed up for.  Given her current level of fitness, I think it is a bad idea for her to do a half marathon so soon.  She also has some problems with her feet - I am not sure what specifically, but I know she was in PT for it within the past year.  I don't want to discourage her though.  The time limit for the half is 4 hours, so even if she walked a lot, she could probably finish. 

I am pretty sure I am going to tell her no.  The races are 6 days apart, both require travel and I have a husband and two kids, one of whom will have soccer games each weekend.  I don't really want her to do my half with me because I have a huge time goal for myself.  I sucked on my first half this past spring, and this is my redemption.  There are a few girls from my running group also doing it, but I am more of a solitary runner, so I don't plan on running with them.  I am just planning on doing my own thing. 

She lives about 4 hours away, so we can't train together.  How can I be supportive of her and still let her know I don't want to run a half marathon with her this Fall?  Do I even tell her that I think she should wait until the Spring at least, if not next Fall. 

[sadlebred]

How about running the same HM but not running it WITH her. Be there for her at the finish to cheer her on, but keep your own goals.

[kams]

Jul 16, 2013 14:25:43 GMT -5 sadlebred said:

How about running the same HM but not running it WITH her. Be there for her at the finish to cheer her on, but keep your own goals.

Yeah, I would just tell her you'd love to enjoy the day with her, but you're really hoping for a personal best and so you'll be running it hard. And then maybe do a phone/email training check in every week.

[CallingAllAngels]

I'm registered to do the half at Myrtle Beach in October. We are planning to take the kids and make a fun weekend out of it. I guess the right thing to do is to invite her along.

[shorewife]

My DH and I run the same races all the time and he never runs with me but is always there for me at the end to cheer me across the finish line. If your DH and kids are there they can cheer for both of you along the race course too. I think it sounds like a pretty fun time actually!

[juliahenry]

Jul 16, 2013 14:58:36 GMT -5 CallingAllAngels said:

I'm registered to do the half at Myrtle Beach in October. We are planning to take the kids and make a fun weekend out of it. I guess the right thing to do is to invite her along.

You sound like an awesome, supportive sister.

i would not invite sis along on a family vacation. Instead, I would say something like, "I'm sorry sis, but I'm already registered for a half the week before and we are making it into a vacation for dh and the kids. The week after is too soon for me to run again. Instead, why don't we pick a spring marathon in 2014 and we'll make a weekend of it?"

that has the double advantage of delaying sister in her training and not ruining all your running and family plans

[texassmith]

Jul 16, 2013 15:43:55 GMT -5 juliahenry said:

Jul 16, 2013 14:58:36 GMT -5 CallingAllAngels said:

I'm registered to do the half at Myrtle Beach in October. We are planning to take the kids and make a fun weekend out of it. I guess the right thing to do is to invite her along.

You sound like an awesome, supportive sister.

i would not invite sis along on a family vacation. Instead, I would say something like, "I'm sorry sis, but I'm already registered for a half the week before and we are making it into a vacation for dh and the kids. The week after is too soon for me to run again. Instead, why don't we pick a spring marathon in 2014 and we'll make a weekend of it?"

that has the double advantage of delaying sister in her training and not ruining all your running and family plans

I agree with this. You should also talk to her about rushing into a HM, especially if she has potential foot problems.

[joenali]

I think she could totally do it! My friend walked a half marathon and finished in a little over 3 hours. She had no running base and no walking base before she started training. She walked a few days a week and I think her longest training walk was maybe 2.5 hours?

Anything is possible! Be supportive! Tell her she can do it!

[CallingAllAngels]

Jul 16, 2013 15:43:55 GMT -5 juliahenry said:

Jul 16, 2013 14:58:36 GMT -5 CallingAllAngels said:

I'm registered to do the half at Myrtle Beach in October. We are planning to take the kids and make a fun weekend out of it. I guess the right thing to do is to invite her along.

You sound like an awesome, supportive sister.

i would not invite sis along on a family vacation. Instead, I would say something like, "I'm sorry sis, but I'm already registered for a half the week before and we are making it into a vacation for dh and the kids. The week after is too soon for me to run again. Instead, why don't we pick a spring marathon in 2014 and we'll make a weekend of it?"

that has the double advantage of delaying sister in her training and not ruining all your running and family plans

LOL, I am typically not so supportive, but I'm trying.

I don't really want her to come on our weekend away. Without going into too much detail. she is just exhausting to be around. I wasn't sure how bitchy that was though.

I think I am going to tell her I can't do the half she proposed, but would love to run a shorter race with her sometime. I have already committed to a Spring '14 half with friends.