Have you flat out told her "Look, I know you don't agree with my lifestyle, but I'm happy- my husband and I are happy- and I really don't care what you think of it, so I'd really appreciate it if you kept your harsh opinions of my life to yourself because it's really starting to piss me off." I mean don't call her up and say this, but if she starts just stop her and explain yourself. If she gets pissy and hang up and cuts contacts, it's for the better. If she's really your friend she'll apologize and not bring it up again.
I thought I had. 3xs. That's the problem. I'm either not enough of a b*tch or she's just being dense. I'll try it again.
This seems so odd to me. Unless she just feels so familiar with you from being room mates and friends for however long. It still seems odd to me that she would be making these comments out of no where unless you were venting to her and that gave her the opening.
I thought I had. 3xs. That's the problem. I'm either not enough of a b*tch or she's just being dense. I'll try it again.
This seems so odd to me. Unless she just feels so familiar with you from being room mates and friends for however long. It still seems odd to me that she would be making these comments out of no where unless you were venting to her and that gave her the opening.
It is so odd. I know I have never vented about my H to her. I love my H, we have our days like everyone, but he's great. I make it a point not whine about the petty life stuff to anyone IRL..it's not fair to him. I'm also positive I could count on one hand the number of times I've vented about him on the internet. It's just not something I do. I'm mad. He knows it. We fix it. We move on. The rest of the world doesn't need to share in it.
Here's what it boils down to I think: She has no farm experience so it's all based off books/tv/etc. which isn't accurate. So she has these odd stereotypes of me scrubbing floors and cooking massive lunches and waiting on my tired husband who comes in and expects it and never plays with our kid, because that's "woman's work." That's so far from my reality..lol. I milk cows sometimes, he cooks dinner sometimes and he makes it a point to do something fun for at least a little bit with Kid every day.
Then HER H quit his job to buy a crop farm and they're moving there next spring. His family is F'd up to be honest in all sorts of way. It's not typical of life on the farm at all. She's busy thinking that whatever happens on her farm is what happens on everyone else's, kwim?
And I was also thinking today, I'm pretty sure she despises my H and SILs too, because when we were dating we spent more time at the farm than they did at our apts. mainly because of logistics, it got me more time with H and I love to farm anyways.
So basically, I'm thinking we just have different priorities in our marriages. Equal doesn't always mean 50/50 to me as it does to her. I'm okay being more independent of H than she is of hers. Because I don't do things her way..it's automatically wrong apparently..lol.
Then HER H quit his job to buy a crop farm and they're moving there next spring. His family is F'd up to be honest in all sorts of way. It's not typical of life on the farm at all. She's busy thinking that whatever happens on her farm is what happens on everyone else's, kwim?
Uhm they're doing what now? How is she going to be Mrs I-won't-lift-a-finger then? I mean, I don't know the first thing about farming, but I would guess that it's like any self employed business which means it's probably hard and with long hours. So, basically now I'm even more confused about this woman. She doesn't seem to have a strong grasp of reality, so she's starting to remind me of my SIL...so that's annoying.
Then HER H quit his job to buy a crop farm and they're moving there next spring. His family is F'd up to be honest in all sorts of way. It's not typical of life on the farm at all. She's busy thinking that whatever happens on her farm is what happens on everyone else's, kwim?
Uhm they're doing what now? How is she going to be Mrs I-won't-lift-a-finger then? I mean, I don't know the first thing about farming, but I would guess that it's like any self employed business which means it's probably hard and with long hours. So, basically now I'm even more confused about this woman. She doesn't seem to have a strong grasp of reality, so she's starting to remind me of my SIL...so that's annoying.
Yep. You read that right. Her H grew up on a farm (which he had another job for like 10 years) and wanted to go back and farm, so he bought some land next to his parents. He moved back in the spring to farm, she stayed where they were. She's joining him full time once their kid is born.
Screwed up right...and I'm the one with the problem.
She claims she laid down the law with him on work hours, getting places etc. That should work out real well. When it's time to plant corn, it's kind of time to plant corn..it can't wait until you feel like it.
Kind of like today, I'm headed to a friend's alone because H is making hay before it rains. It's got to get done so my cows can eat in February. She just doesn't have that connection that it's a time sensitive gig. And that when you work for yourself it's rewarding but a giant PITA because no one but you can do it.