Fusion, gisa, or other 2u1/2 moms- I can't take my kids out!

[biblionerd]

fusion, I thought of you since I remembered you talking about going out with your kids and I was in awe. HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?!? I mean, I take my kids to the store, quick restaurants/cafes, and drs and some other places, but it's only places where they are fully contained or can be. Linus has his hand holding thing and in general he knows that he holds it or gets back in the cart, but that only lasts so long lately until he just doesn't care. He just has nooooo sense of needing to stay near me anymore. I think of when DH and I go to the zoo together and nearly have a panic attack thinking about doing something like that alone. Like, I seriously don't understand the logistics of how I'm supposed to do anything with my kids. I'm starting to get super depressed about it honestly because I'm feeling like a shitty mother that shelters my kids. Now when I figure this out I'll have a 3rd to add to the mix and I'm getting even more bummed, feeling like I'm ruining my kids' childhoods. I want them to have fun and I love that they have siblings, but I'm thinking of all of the fun things l could be doing with one kid or 2 spaced out more and feeling sad and guilty for thinking that. Kind of a "wth have I gotten myself into?!?" all around and I'm freaking out. I've looked and can't even find an enclosed park or enclosed play area. Short of leashing one of them I don't feel like I know how to handle it. 

[UnicornDog]

I hope I can figure this out. As it stands, I can't get E out of the house some days. If the next baby doesn't nap away from home, it's going to be a rough first year.

[bigapple]

Not a mom of 2u2, but my former upstairs neighbor is (she just moved out). She was out with both of them every day. She'd usually wear the smaller one and have the bigger one in a stroller or take them both in her double jogger. Her older one is a runner, and she has some sort of wrist-to-wrist leash for her that she can also attach to the stroller. The playgrounds nearby are all fenced off, so she'd just let the bigger one run wild while tending to the smaller one.

[bigapple]

Oh, and she would sit in a park nearby for hours while the older played and the younger napped in the stroller.

[fusion]

Yeah we go out everywhere, parks, mall, indoor play places, shopping, etc. I *drill* it into Jameson that he can't go far away from me, or we leave. He gets one warning if he wanders off somewhere I don't want him to be and then if he does it again we leave right away. He gets a thorough description on the way to the car and on the way home of why we left. Then the next time we go to the same place I tell him at the beginning that if he goes away then we will leave like we did last time and fun will be over. It's all about being very firm and sticking with it and having a few miserable and short lived encounters in the mean time. When I take him out of the car I always point to a spot on the side of the car and tell him to touch that spot and don't move while I take Anna out, or again we will leave and not get to have any fun. He is very diligent about leaving his little finger on that spot until I grab his hand to take them across the parking lot. Anna sticks close to me for now, but I pretty much don't have to worry about Jameson anymore. For places like the zoo I wouldn't have any problem with one of those wrist leashes if I had a wanderer. You could warn him that if he does that you will constrain him, and then follow through with it right away.

[dixeedeluxe]

We don't go anywhere.

Well, maybe Target once a month.

Nowhere alone.

[biblionerd]

Jul 17, 2013 13:03:12 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

We don't go anywhere.

Well, maybe Target once a month.

Nowhere alone.

Glad I'm not the only one. I was seriously beginning to feel like it. Your mom watches the kids doesn't she? Does she take them out? I'm starting to feel like I'm failing as "daycare" by not doing enough. 

[biblionerd]

Jul 17, 2013 11:10:17 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

Wellll I just kinda go with it. If Hazel gets bored I move Owen with her. He likes to follow her. We don't go to enclosed places often, but if they must get out and the weather is nasty we go to the Chick Fil A and play. Super classy lol. Do you have a mall near you?
ETA Spelling. My brain is gone

Thanks. No mall near us. I think part of the problem is that we live in the boonies so it's pretty much 45 minutes to get anywhere. So I can't just do a quick trip to try something out other than grocery store, fast food, or big parks. We're trying to finish getting our house ready to sell so maybe that will get better and help the situation. 

[biblionerd]

Jul 17, 2013 12:00:48 GMT -5 fusion said:

Yeah we go out everywhere, parks, mall, indoor play places, shopping, etc. I *drill* it into Jameson that he can't go far away from me, or we leave. He gets one warning if he wanders off somewhere I don't want him to be and then if he does it again we leave right away. He gets a thorough description on the way to the car and on the way home of why we left. Then the next time we go to the same place I tell him at the beginning that if he goes away then we will leave like we did last time and fun will be over. It's all about being very firm and sticking with it and having a few miserable and short lived encounters in the mean time. When I take him out of the car I always point to a spot on the side of the car and tell him to touch that spot and don't move while I take Anna out, or again we will leave and not get to have any fun. He is very diligent about leaving his little finger on that spot until I grab his hand to take them across the parking lot. Anna sticks close to me for now, but I pretty much don't have to worry about Jameson anymore. For places like the zoo I wouldn't have any problem with one of those wrist leashes if I had a wanderer. You could warn him that if he does that you will constrain him, and then follow through with it right away.

Thanks. I guess I can just start little with letting him walk with me at the grocery store instead of riding in the stroller or cart. Staying by the car has (so far) worked pretty well. I set the diaper bag on the ground next to me and give him the handle to hold. But it's like once we're out and there's stuff everywhere he just turns deaf. 

[cat19]

I'm so scared about this...

[carawestt]

Jul 17, 2013 16:37:38 GMT -5 cat19 said:

I'm so scared about this...

I was just about to say this.

[biblionerd]

Jul 17, 2013 16:45:54 GMT -5 carawestt said:

Jul 17, 2013 16:37:38 GMT -5 cat19 said:

I'm so scared about this...

I was just about to say this.

Sorry. I really think that if it were reversed and Fiona was the older one we'd be fine. Linus is just turning into a little crazy man lately. I feel like I'll hopefully get these 2 under control and then go through it again... The crazy woman wearing a newborn with 2 leashed kids dragging her around. 

[biblionerd]

Jul 17, 2013 17:05:30 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

I suggest getting him a backpack harness so he can walk at the store and still be contained.

I'm looking at amazon now. I'm not going to lie, I am soooo self-conscious and get nervous even thinking about possible judgey looks. :/

[carawestt]

Jul 17, 2013 17:05:59 GMT -5 biblionerd said:

Jul 17, 2013 16:45:54 GMT -5 carawestt said:

I was just about to say this.

Sorry. I really think that if it were reversed and Fiona was the older one we'd be fine. Linus is just turning into a little crazy man lately. I feel like I'll hopefully get these 2 under control and then go through it again... The crazy woman wearing a newborn with 2 leashed kids dragging her around. 

Lincoln is heading there too. He's just so full of energy all.the.time.

[livinreality]

Jul 17, 2013 16:31:17 GMT -5 biblionerd said:

Jul 17, 2013 13:03:12 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

We don't go anywhere.

Well, maybe Target once a month.

Nowhere alone.

Glad I'm not the only one. I was seriously beginning to feel like it. Your mom watches the kids doesn't she? Does she take them out? I'm starting to feel like I'm failing as "daycare" by not doing enough. 

We don't go many places alone, only the necessities- groceries, drs, chickfila, etc. I normally recruit my Mom or my kidless friend to go with me, for fun activities and mine are a little farther apart.

One thing that really helped with DS1 is literally went on training outings, as in we went to target (or whatever store) for not reason other then for him to learn to stay near me. It was much easier when I was not trying to actually grocery shop and get things done to train him to walk with me and correct me. 

[sno&2peas]

Sometimes I go alone because I'm cray-cray... haha I actually took my kids to a splash park/ petting zoo this weekend alone. I made it about 2 hours!! It's a pain getting them out of the house though! I have done the mall a few times too! I live 30 min from any real entertainment btw.