They do. I'm sure that doesn't stop my MIL from talking about me (I mean, if she talks about everyone else the way she does, I know I'm not immune), but I'll take it.
I think MIL does. When FIL was alive I think he liked me when I was thin but not so much as I chunked up. At least that's the vibe I got but it may have been something else.
I just met them for the first time a few weeks ago. Right now they think I walk on water. Ask me this question again in five years. Hopefully it will still be the same answer.
His dad likes me a lot. He compliments me on my parenting and has told me that he's thankful that I chose his son, but I could really do a lot better. (Truth.)
His mom used to like me, she tried to be very buddy-buddy, but she's a nuthouse. I may have been a little obvious about my disdain. When we split, she started sharing a lot of passive aggressive things on FB like "Rules for dating my son" and "No one can replace his mother." (Which makes me laugh because she was an abusive POS mother, and now she's getting protective? Ha.)
Post by RoxMonster on Jul 17, 2013 20:11:00 GMT -5
Yes, or at least they say they do
I don't have hardly anything in common with my MIL, so it is sometimes tough to find common ground to relate to each other. FIL used to be a huge ass to H and my BIL, especially growing up, and I was never a huge fan.
Honestly since his cancer diagnosis, he has changed a lot of his ways, said he wants to become closer to his sons and start doing things right, and things have been better since. So, silver lining I guess.
Post by thinkofthesoldiers on Jul 17, 2013 20:26:32 GMT -5
Yep. I've given FIL his only grandson, which he desperately wanted (two granddaughters already). Plus, I'm the one that organizes a lot of the stuff that happens in H's family. Before me, it was kind of hit or miss if the sons would show up to stuff. XSIL is a total snatch, so I have that going for me too. MIL talks to me way more than H or BIL, and I'm kind of her sounding boarding when more shit happens with XSIL.
H's mom died when he was young, and FIL checked out/drank for most of his sons' lives. Just got sober and started trying to build a relationship around the time H and I started dating. So H and his brothers don't trust or make much of an effort with their dad, but I get along with him really well since I didn't know him as he was when they were kids.
As the only one that looks forward to family time with H's family, they like me a lot.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Jul 17, 2013 21:23:35 GMT -5
I think I'm certainly the preferable daughter in law- dh stayed in-state to marry me. They always complement me on Lucy's behavior. I think MIL has this idea that I am very particular with things regarding Lucy- it's like she's afraid I'm going to tell her she did something wrong? Especially when she was a baby. But I'm so not!
I think they liked me at first, but then they started to dislike my parents because of various reasons, and they kind of started to dislike me too. I think that they resent me because they think that I have changed him. I've heard them say things like "Oh, you used to like to do XXX, why don't you ever do it anymore?" I think that they are warming up to me, but they never really make much of an effort to make me feel welcome when we visit, which is part of the reason I let H go alone the last time he visited. I think they are always secretly thrilled when H visits without me. Also, they were really rude to me and my family at our wedding, and I find it hard to forget that, even though its been 2 years.
I'm not entirely sure. I've seen how... misleading... my MIL can be toward other family members just to "keep the peace." So I can't tell if she's genuine or not.
Can't really tell with FIL either. He is very hard to read, even after knowing him for 14 years. Not sure this is actually a sign, but I know he never danced with me at my wedding to DH. And he had made it a point to dance with my SIL at her wedding to DH's brother. That sticks with me for some reason.
My FIL was very fond of me. My MIL would have preferred that H married a Ukrainian or at the very least a catholic. I've insulted her a couple of times with my anti-religious view, but we have an ok relationship. She likes me a lot more now that I am pumping out babies.
Post by DotAndBuzz on Jul 17, 2013 21:48:45 GMT -5
His dad likes me.
His mother tolerates, and not-so-silently judges me. She says she likes me, but I think she still wishes H had married his HS girlfriend who is now a golf pro. Because she tells us about Suzi The Great's newest achievements/happenings nearly every time she visits. I know for a fact she did not care for me at all until well after college, because she was 100% certain that I was trying to get pregnant so H would "have" to marry me ASAP.
They like me because I took over a responsibility they did not want. Truthfully they do not know me very well at all and that is fine by me. I don't and never will understand them. His whole family is very distant and cold whereas mine is not.
This is pretty much us, too. FIL and SMIL don't like that DH is atheist and married me: an agnostic who works for the archdiocese. They sat me down with the Bible on our wedding day and asked me to bring DH to the light. Yeah, not gonna happen.
SFIL is an abusive d-bag, so I don't think it would occur to him to not like me. I'm a complete non-entity. MIL wishes that DH was closer, both physically and emotionally, and, I think, wants me to make that happen. Not likely. It doesn't help that SIL allowed DH's brother to build them an apartment in his basement so they can visit whenever they want. SIL called me a few months ago and asked how I manage to avoid them so well. Easy: we live a long flight away, rarely call, and don't give them an option of staying with us. More recently, DH did call his mom to tell her that SFIL (also DH's step dad) is never allowed to be alone with our kids, discipline our kids, or drive them. With that, she cancelled their visit. Oh well.
Post by pixelpassion on Jul 17, 2013 23:03:27 GMT -5
i've known FI since we were three years old, so STBFIL and STBMIL have known me virtually my whole life. I had a pretty shitty home life growing up, so they feel like my "true" parents. STBMIL and I are very close