My mom is really inconsistent with her criticism

[idoinjuly]

We have my inlaws and GPIL over for dinner once every two or three weeks.  Sometimes more often, sometimes less.  I do it mainly for the grandparents inlaw.  They stay home most days unless they have doctor appointments.  I adore the grandparents and they would do anything for us.  Also, GMIL has had a really hard time since they moved to TX from NM (to be closer to us and SIL and BIL and nephew).  They live with MIL and FIL.  Anyway, my mom was always applauding the fact that I try to do stuff with them and invite them over.  She kept saying how proud of me she was for it.

I told her the other day that they were coming over that night and she comments that we have them over too much.  Which is it mom?  I think it bothered me more because there is so little that she is proud of me for (or at least vocalizes) and so much that she nitpics me on.  Then she goes and blasts me for the one thing she was always proud of me for.

I know how my mom is so it bothers me that still, at 37, I hang on to her negative comments for days/weeks/months.

There is no real point to this except I needed to get it out.

[noodleoo]

That sucks. Any chance she's jealous that you spend more time with them than her? I'm guessing she really is proud of you and that comment came out of either jealousy or something else going on in her life. I is probably more about her than you. Sorry she still gets to you!

[Sloane]

I feel ya - I do the same thing. It's too bad that they don't realize the impact of their words sometimes.

[idoinjuly]

Jul 18, 2013 7:33:50 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

That sucks. Any chance she's jealous that you spend more time with them than her? I'm guessing she really is proud of you and that comment came out of either jealousy or something else going on in her life. I is probably more about her than you. Sorry she still gets to you!

I've thought that maybe she's jealous, but we see her a fair amount as well.  We probably do see the inlaws more just because they are easier to be around and they actually engage the kids.  I don't tell her every time we see them though.

[snickers]

I'm sorry. It sounds like your mom could be jealous, but she should not be making you feel bad for doing something so nice.

[papie]

I'm sorry, I have a hard time with my mom's criticism too. Once she told me "You know, if any of your friends had just told you THE SAME THING, you wouldn't be angry" and it hit home kinda. It is true that everything is MORE when it comes from mom.