My second wedding, FI's first. He wants to register somewhere. I don't think we need anything badly enough to suggest that other people buy it for us and, mostly & honestly, I just don't want to be bothered with going somewhere to pick out a bunch of stuff I don't necessarily want, and then have to make that earth shattering decision about whether or not it will cause people's worlds to stop spinning if that registry is mentioned in the invites. (FTR, it never bothers me to get those notices in the invites but I didn't include them for my first wedding.)
1. Registry for second wedding? Yay or nay? If you had a second did you or didn't you?
2. Mention of registry in invites? Unforgivably tacky or who care?
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
1- I wouldn't but I also wouldn't roll my eyes if someone did in this situation. People might send gifts anyway but I don't want anyone to assume I expect them. 2- Absolutely not. Not printed on the invite and not even included on a second insert.
Why would you mention the registry in the invitation? I'm fine with mentioning the website on an insert and linking from there, but no one wants a gift request on an invitation.
I say figure out what he wants most and register together for those things. Perhaps this is his way of letting you know he hates your china pattern.
1. Since it's his first, give him and his family the "pleasure" of shopping for you if they want to. They've never been able to do the "wedding thingy" for him and now is hopefully their only shot at it. As it's his first and he wants it, I say the "compromise" is do it for him and his family.
2. Doesn't matter to me. My Miss Manners only goes so far. Wedding invites is farther than I care to bother.
I would register (especially because it is his first), but not mention it anywhere. There WILL be people who want to give you a gift and it will be nice for them to have a choice. You don't need to register for $1,000 china, but a few new items couldn't hurt.
1. Eh, I don't see the big deal. People like to buy wedding gifts and it makes it easier to get something you'll like/use/can return in exchange for something you actually need. 2. Hell no. I had this conversation with one of my BFFs yesterday. I'd never use those cards or mention a registry in a wedding invitation, but if anyone ask you (or your family/friends involved with the wedding) will be prepared with a response.
Post by trafficgirl on Jul 18, 2013 11:47:14 GMT -5
I was in the exact same boat earlier this year - my second wedding, H's first.
1 - We did two small registries because his family was asking about it and I knew if we didn't we'd get random stuff as wedding gifts.
2 - No. I think most people know which stores are common for registering and can just look you up. Or ask you.
ETA - I did include a piece of paper (which matched our invitations) listing how to RSVP and the address of our wedding website so people could look up directions for how to get to the wedding, which was OOT. It said on the website where we were registered.
I generally say no to registries for second weddings, but in this case, it's his first. If it were me, I would really hate to deny him (and even his family) the whole experience of a first wedding, which includes registering. I might try to talk him into keeping the registry small, though, and not going all out.
I would NOT include it in/on the invites. It's always tacky whether it's a first wedding or a fifth one.
Post by childofhiphop on Jul 18, 2013 11:51:18 GMT -5
We had a similar position.
My mom insisted that we needed a registry for everyone who was asking her what to get us.
I did a small registry for things like the broken toaster that I had since college that still worked (mostly).
We ended up getting a nicer coffee machine than we currently had and a few wine glasses that I really wanted.
1. Yes - it's his first and there really are guests who prefer to shop from a registry (still) 2. No - I think word of mouth for those who are interested is sufficient.
We registered for a second wedding (my second, his first).
I didn't put info in the invitations, but I did put it on the webpage. It doesn't bother me, but apparently it offends some people, so I would avoid it if you possibly can. Anyone who can Google will know where you're registered.
I see people mentioning shower invites a lot. Are showers for second weddings standard or are they like showers for second + babies? Not the default, but some exceptions happen.
1. Registry for second wedding? Yay or nay? If you had a second did you or didn't you?
2. Mention of registry in invites? Unforgivably tacky or who care?
1) My first wedding, FI's second. Hell yes, I am doing a wedding registry. Will I go all out? No, because I don't want to seem greedy. I think if you keep it not oh my god outlandish, it is fine. Getting a registry thing from someone who has already been married before would not even blip on my radar. Don't feel bad!
2) Uhm... I'm not sure. If people ask, I will certainly tell them.
We are doing a very casual wedding, however, so I have honestly thought of just putting, "While we are more excited to see you on our wedding day than any gift, if you would like to bring something small, we do have a registry. However, your presence is still the best present you could give us."
Or maybe something less dreadfully tacky. I am not a writer of any sorts.
I have honestly thought of just putting, "While we are more excited to see you on our wedding day than any gift, if you would like to bring something small, we do have a registry. However, your presence is still the best present you could give us."
Or maybe something less dreadfully tacky. I am not a writer of any sorts.
OMG this has me in stitches. I'm sure your intentions are good. The results? Less so.
I see people mentioning shower invites a lot. Are showers for second weddings standard or are they like showers for second + babies? Not the default, but some exceptions happen.
I didn't have a shower for the second wedding. It felt...weird. And gift grabby.
I did get together with some of my close friends though, at their request. And my Maid of Honor took me to a spa when I went to visit her (she lives in another state). That was it though.
I have honestly thought of just putting, "While we are more excited to see you on our wedding day than any gift, if you would like to bring something small, we do have a registry. However, your presence is still the best present you could give us."
Or maybe something less dreadfully tacky. I am not a writer of any sorts.
OMG this has me in stitches. I'm sure your intentions are good. The results? Less so.
Yup. I mean, on one had, I would like people to know that we have a small registry, but they totally do not need to get us anything. On the other, I am as about as graceful with words as a very blind, very upset three legged moose in the middle of Miami Beach.
Planning a wedding is a lot harder than I was lead to believe.