FFS, I feel like I'm pushed and pushed and pushed

[emsumm]

My kids just won't let up.  Like, ever.  Why does every little thing have to be a fight? 
I go into situations calm and collected, and end up a crazy person because they won't listen, or do what I ask (you know, hard stuff, like "come here, please."  I can't brush their hair, or pack their lunch, or turn off the tv, or breathe, without someone running away or complaining or ZOMG I WANTED TO DO THAT MYSELF.
Yes, I am long-suffering today.
It makes me feel like such a terrible mom. 

[gmail]

I'm sorry. ::hair pats::

You're not a terrible mom. You're not.

You love them, you take good care of them. You are normal, hard-working, tired, normal, and most importantly...normal.

[UMaineTeach]

poor mom

are they 3?

[emsumm]

UMaineTeach, they are, indeed, 3.

[emsumm]

Thank you, guys.
I look around and I feel like I'm the only one. I really do. And I wonder what I've done so wrong that my kids think that they can just do whatever they want, that they don't ever have to listen, or do anything they don't feel like.
I'm not a laissez-faire parent when it comes to discipline, so WHYYYY?
I changed 5 diapers in 15 minutes before nap. They are potty trained. They revenge-pooped.

[CrazyLucky]

Jul 18, 2013 14:48:48 GMT -5 emsumm said:

UMaineTeach, they are, indeed, 3.

DS is teaching me that the 3s are much worse than the 2s.  

[verypunny]

Oh boy do I get you. I swear they wake up and decide whose turn it is to torment me that day. Some days they decide to all do it, that's fun. But you are a great mom. Even just worrying about how good of a mom you are makes you a great mom.

[KKD]

Oh, I feel you. Three is tough.

The hair-brushing alone can send me over the edge some days.

[UMaineTeach]

I don't have kids. But I did spend 3 year working as a preschool teacher for 3 year olds. They are rough, nothing at all like 2 year olds or 4 year old. Yours sound normal and you sound like a good parent.

[hopecounts]

Oh yes the trying 3s.
They have the brains to want independence but not the brains to actually be independent.
My standard answer is give them acceptable options/control as much as you can.
i.e. for the tv I'd say do you want to turn off the TV or do you want mommy to? and give them a chance to do it of course if they drag their feet say OK mommy'll do it.
But they are dying to have some control over their world so as much as you reasonably can indulge them.
Hang in there it does pass.

[rex]

Before you said their age I thought "they must be 3."

3 year olds can be jerks. I'm sorry.

[daisyheadmaizie]

You aren't doing anything wrong. Kids can be assholes. They test those who they trust the most, which just fucking sucks. Every parent has those moments of just being done. Some days DD pushes me to my absolute last string of patience and I lose my temper. It isn't pretty and I always feel like shit, but you know what,it is okay. Your kids are healthy, happy, and loved. Sometimes that is all that matters. Don't be so hard on yourself. Tomorrow is a new day.

[nsl]

Two and four are positively delightful ages, particularly compared with the utter assholery of three year olds. Hang in there!

[jayded]

I could have written that verbatim, ds just turned 3 and I swear a switch flipped. Someone please tell me it gets better because at the end of the day I feel like crying.

[snickers]

I'm sorry

[emsumm]

You guys are awesome. Thanks for the kind words.

[glassofsyrah]

You are not alone. Sometimes I feel so sad that I am not the happy-go-lucky, creative mom I envisioned I'd be. It's not my fault... my 3 year old EXHAUSTS me. I don't have the energy to be amazing.

[emsumm]

God, right, glassofsyrah? I think I used to be pretty great. In any event, I go through all the motions to be amazing. Trips to the pool! Picnics! Painting outside! I made them a sweet dress-up center, for chrissake!
But then I'm like "RRRAAAAAGE, GET BACK IN BED!!!!". And then I remember that I'm the worst.

[jreeds]

Jul 18, 2013 14:52:45 GMT -5 emsumm said:

Thank you, guys.
I look around and I feel like I'm the only one. I really do. And I wonder what I've done so wrong that my kids think that they can just do whatever they want, that they don't ever have to listen, or do anything they don't feel like.
I'm not a laissez-faire parent when it comes to discipline, so WHYYYY?
I changed 5 diapers in 15 minutes before nap. They are potty trained. They revenge-pooped.

You are most certainly not alone. All too many nights I say almost this exact thing to DH after I put the kids to bed. I wish I had more comforting words than that.

[glassofsyrah]

For what it's worth, I cannot remember anything from when I was three so we really aren't traumatizing these kids... yet.

[idoinjuly]

I feel you sister, except my little trouble maker is 4. DS (2) is a dream right now compared to her. The attitude won't stop. We work hard to instill respect in them, and I'm absolutely shocked at the things that come out of my daughter's mouth. Ugh, it makes me wish I could spank her sassy little ass sometimes. It's like she has no fear. I don't know what I should do differently.

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2013 15:02:33 GMT -5 hopecounts said:

Oh yes the trying 3s.
They have the brains to want independence but not the brains to actually be independent.
My standard answer is give them acceptable options/control as much as you can.
i.e. for the tv I'd say do you want to turn off the TV or do you want mommy to? and give them a chance to do it of course if they drag their feet say OK mommy'll do it.
But they are dying to have some control over their world so as much as you reasonably can indulge them.
Hang in there it does pass.

This is what it is with my DD2 right now, she wants to be able to do everything herself.  She throws tantrums when I move her cup, because she wanted to, it was her cup, or get her toothbrush, or help change her clothes, etc.  And both DH and I have ended up so frustrated with the not listening that we too meltdown to yelling - you are not alone!  They do get better, DD1 is 5 and closer to 4 it became easier.  I hope you can take a deep breath and hang in there.

[MixedBerryJam]

Jul 18, 2013 14:44:41 GMT -5 emsumm said:

My kids just won't let up.  Like, ever.  Why does every little thing have to be a fight? 
I go into situations calm and collected, and end up a crazy person because they won't listen, or do what I ask (you know, hard stuff, like "come here, please."  I can't brush their hair, or pack their lunch, or turn off the tv, or breathe, without someone running away or complaining or ZOMG I WANTED TO DO THAT MYSELF.
Yes, I am long-suffering today.
It makes me feel like such a terrible mom. 

This means you're doing it right! I'm sorry everylittlething you do is wrong and complainworthy. That's the exhausting part, and I wish I could say it'll let up soon, but you already know that would be a lie.

ETA: I like to tell people about the time my younger had be so burned out I gave him ice cream for breakfast. He got all "Ice cream for breakfast again. Harumph." on my ass. You know that's the day I threw in the towel.

[emsumm]

At nap time today:
"Naomi, what you said was disrespectful." (God only know what she said, lol)
Maya: "Mama, YOU'RE A SPECTFUL!"
Naomi: "BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! Spectful, spectful!"

In short, I really got through to them.

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2013 14:46:38 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

poor mom

are they 3?

I was about to ask this. Lol.

It'll pass!

[lys]

I think I was ready to put my kids out with the trash at age 3 . NOBODY is a perfect parent - and NOBODY has perfect kids. You do the best you can . Hang in there and do not feel guilty about being tired and frustrated and angry at times. You are a good mom AND you have human limitations.
Make sure you give them at least one hug a day -- somewhere in the day.

[gretchenindisguise]

My favorite line from L is "that's not using good manners mommy, that's not being really nice!" whenever I discipline her or tell her no.

[MixedBerryJam]

Anyone interested in my theory of parenting? God makes babies cute so we don't toss them out the window while we're driving down the highway, and he makes teenagers big enough that we can't.

[8675309]

I could have written this post myself. This has by far been our most difficult year with our 3yr old. As I'm typing this she's dumping her plate because I gave her little brother his chicken fingers first and she "didn't want the green plate either!" I stopped drinking for a diet that I'm on and I question that decision daily. She makes me nuts and I could really use a glass of wine!

[leahmel]

3 is the age of not listening, freaking the fuck out over every damn thing, wanting to do everything themselves, and tantrum city. My BF's son is finally starting to get better now thy he's closer to 4, but man this age is the pits!! Just remember it won't last forever.