S/O Best parts of having two+ kids

[Deleted]

Bonus if they were 2u2.

I just had my DS2 on Friday (I know, siggy update needed) and while this newborn thing is already a lot easier the second time, the two kids thing is terrifying. And, DS1 is still in daycare and my H is home on leave.

In one week, I will be a SAHM to two boys 16 months apart, and I have a H with a very demanding job. Tell me we will all survive this?

[polka]

I posted some of the best parts in my reply to cville in the moms of 2 thread.

DD1 was two when the baby was born. I have been a full-time and part-time working mom, and am now a sahm. My H also has a demanding job (12-14 hour days, 5 days a week). It gets easier, ask for help when you need it though. You will survive this

[Deleted]

OH YEAH!

Ring around the rosie partners.

There's always someone to laugh at their jokes when you don't understand.

I really can't stress the playmate thing enough, although sometimes it's "partner in crime."

They will comfort each other. Everything from their "I don't want my diaper changed" fits to being sick gets them a toy and a hug from brother.

[CrazyLucky]

You will survive all this. The first few months are HARD! Really hard. But it gets better, especially once the second one is able to sit by himself, so you don't have to be right there holding him up every second.
The best part is the interaction. DS can get DD laughing like no one else. He loves to hug her and kiss her. When she sees him, she squeals and smiles. When she cries, he'll say something like, "It's ok baby girl. Here's a toy." They are so cute together. I'm trying to enjoy it while they're young before it turns into, "Mom! He's looking at me!"

[KKD]

You will survive, I promise. I can't speak for that close of an age difference, but I do have three friends who had their first two close in age and went on to have their third just as close so there must be something to it!

It definitely goes through phases of varying levels of difficulty. The first few weeks will be an adjustment, but gradually you'll find your groove and eventually they'll be able to play together which is the very best part of having a sibling.

I mean, just last week, Emily randomly told me, "Having a sister is like having a playdate every day!"

[verypunny]

They will be BFFs! They will entertain each other. The older one will " help".

[cuddlyevil]

They entertain each other. So if you're having a day where you just want to sit for a little while and have a cup of coffee--you totally can...until someone starts screaming.

The older one will help.

[lolly]

When they make each other laugh it is truly the best thing ever.

I SAH and some days are the suck for sure, but for me the good far outweighs the bad. You can do it!

[daisyheadmaizie]

Mine are farther apart than yours, but seeing their relationship form has been the greatest thing. They love each other so much. DS' face lights up when his big sister walks in the room. They play together (even with a 5 year age difference) and laugh and giggle. Their love for each other is just the sweetest thing ever.

[anlo]

You will survive! Mine are 16 mos apart, too. It's a lot of work, but it does get easier with time. You'll get used to doing a lot of things with one hand.

The best part at that stage for me was snuggling both kiddos at once. One of my favorite pics of the kids at that age is of me holding DS with one arm and reading to DD while she snuggled in my lap.

The day that they begin to play with each other is so fun to watch!

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2013 15:19:49 GMT -5 mooselovah said:

I have 2 u 2 (basically). I am on mat leave for the year and it has been hard and amazingly wonderful. Two of the best parts are - my dh is a completely different dad this time ( he's not a baby person). He is doing such an incredible job and he is really enjoying it the second time - he loves toddlers (nuts I know!)

And my oldest adores my second in away I think only siblings can love another person.

Oh and the morning snuggles, the kisses, the sweet baby smell and the hilarious toddler energy at the same time.

Busy, hard, but so much love and so much laughter. Sorry if this is sappy as hell.

Sappy is good sappy might replace panic, which is where I'm at now. Although I do love morning snuggles. My older son doesn't understand he has a brother but he wakes up asking for him (my mom taught him a nickname for the baby and he definitely understands that's what he's asking for).

[iamgrace]

It's okay. I know I complain a ton, but it's getting better. It's all about figuring out new routines. I was terrified.

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2013 15:22:49 GMT -5 anlo said:

You will survive! Mine are 16 mos apart, too. It's a lot of work, but it does get easier with time. You'll get used to doing a lot of things with one hand.

The best part at that stage for me was snuggling both kiddos at once. One of my favorite pics of the kids at that age is of me holding DS with one arm and reading to DD while she snuggled in my lap.

The day that they begin to play with each other is so fun to watch!

Did you SAH? Or even if you worked, how did it go when both kids needed something? I was nursing the baby yesterday and Max wanted up into my lap. I pulled him on the couch next to me but he tried to pull the baby off my lap (same way he treats the cats, he was excited to play with baby) and when I told him no, he started bawling. I felt so guilty

[Deleted]

squirrelymom, so cute!! Love the first communion pic (guessing based on the dress).

[anlo]

Jul 18, 2013 15:37:06 GMT -5 @thereigninglorelai said:

Jul 18, 2013 15:22:49 GMT -5 anlo said:

You will survive! Mine are 16 mos apart, too. It's a lot of work, but it does get easier with time. You'll get used to doing a lot of things with one hand.

The best part at that stage for me was snuggling both kiddos at once. One of my favorite pics of the kids at that age is of me holding DS with one arm and reading to DD while she snuggled in my lap.

The day that they begin to play with each other is so fun to watch!

Did you SAH? Or even if you worked, how did it go when both kids needed something? I was nursing the baby yesterday and Max wanted up into my lap. I pulled him on the couch next to me but he tried to pull the baby off my lap (same way he treats the cats, he was excited to play with baby) and when I told him no, he started bawling. I felt so guilty

I worked one day a week for awhile, but it really didn't make much sense so I finally decided to SAH.

It's tough when they both need something because sometimes you just have to triage, so to speak. Whose need in that moment is priority? I felt guilty a lot of the time, too. Do you have a big recliner or something like that? I spent a lot of time in our recliner because it was also a rocker, so I could rock the baby and pretty easily have my oldest up there with us so she felt close enough to me. I was pretty lucky that she was never very jealous.

I had a routine in the morning. First thing was to get myself dressed. I would change my oldest and get her dressed while the baby was in his crib/swing/etc. Then I'd grab a sippy cup for her and she could keep herself occupied while I changed and dressed the baby. Then we'd all sit together in the rocker while I fed the baby. By then DD was done with her sippy and ready for breakfast, so DS would go into his swing/bouncer/whatever while I got our breakfast. And so on through the day. There was a lot of back and forth from kid to kid, if that makes sense. I did find that it was easiest for me to do something for myself at the same time I was doing something for the older the child. I also tried to change diapers at the same time. So, if the baby was wet, I'd change him and then go ahead and change DD while I was at it (unless she was completely dry but that hardly every happened).

Also, a double stroller saved my sanity. We didn't use it long, but if you can get one used, it's sooo worth it. It made me feel mobile again.

You will find a routine that works for you. It's tough, I know. PM me if you ever need to vent.

[Deleted]

AH Squirrley!!!!!!

[lissaholly]

My are 3.5 years apart so no bonus!

Reasons why I am glad to have 2:

A built-in playmate. Dd#2 adores DD#1 and will play almost anything with her, especially the figurine shit that drives me bonkers;)

DD#1 learned how to entertain herself because I just couldn't extend myself in the same way

I am becoming more efficient because I cut out all the things I think I should do and just do what I need to do;)

All the baby/toddler stuff gets a second go somehow justifying the initial cost more to me;

Things that were easier for me the second time around:

Sleep deprivation. First kid was a colicky mess who drained me of energy long before the second had a chance to. I can get by with less sleep because I used to it.

Packing for day trips/ vacations. Efficiency;)

Perspective! I am loving this second kid's phases a lot more because I know it is just a phase this time;)

Seriously, my DH travels every week for work and I make it just fine. It is undoubted more work, but you are better at coping after the first;)

[roxysoxy]

Mine were 2u2.  I also have a H with a very demanding job - back then he was traveling about 50% or the time and worked 12-15 hours a day.  My mom stayed with us for a couple of weeks after DH was back at work.  She helped a lot keeping my older child entertained while I was taking care of the baby.  None of my family lives close, so after that, we were on our own. 

As I said in the other post, the first 3 months were the hardest.  Once we got a routine down, things ran really smoothly and it wasn't too bad. 

My kids are 4.5 and 6 now and they really keep each other entertained.  Some days they play with each other so much that I feel a little guilty that I've had it so easy.  They also love each other so much and some of the things they say to each other are so sweet that it gives me the warm fuzzies.    

[Alyssa]

Let me tell you, it will melt your heart when they start playing and laughing together.  You really feel like you have a complete family at that point.

[Deleted]

Sibling love!

[idoinjuly]

Mine are 19 months apart and I stay home. It was pretty tough at first. My best advice is to have a spare diaper bag in the car with formula, a bottle, bottle of water, change of clothes for both of them and diapers for both of them. This takes the fear of forgetting something in your normal diaper bag out of the equation for when you venture out. Get them both dressed asap in the morning and get yourself ready as soon as you can. Bonus if you can shower while your dh is still home. When you nurse, get your older child a sippy and a snack and put a show on. Nurse on the floor if you can. Don't feel guilty for not interacting with the baby if he is content in a swing.

Like someone mentioned earlier, a huge turning point was when the baby could sit up on his own. This made playdates, eating out, shopping so much easier. I'm trying to think of other things that made my life easier. Oh definitely a baby carrier. I had a Bjorn but I know there are much better ones out there.

[snakeoiltanker]

Mine are a little less than a year apart.

When they reach out to hold each others hands for the first time, or kiss eachothers bumps and bruises. It's all worth it.
Bonus; we made the choice to wean them both off the sippy, and potty train them both at the same time. It's nice to have it all over with.

[lilybug]

Congrats! You'll be fine.

My oldest turned two a week after his little brother was born, so I just make the 2u2 bonus cutoff. I SAH with them, and I love it. They are 3 and 21 mos now, and they are starting to play together and crack each other up. I am so glad that they have built-in bffs. There are tough moments, but I think the pros to having them close in age outweigh the cons.

Plus you get moments like these <3

[Deleted]

Mine are 14.5 months apart.

One day we were talking about her as a baby and she just looked at me with puppy dog eyes and said, "I must have been such a sad baby". I told her "no, why would you think that?" She said, "because I didn't have my brother yet". Melted my heart.

DS looks up to her and adores her.

[jreeds]

This

[CurlyQ284]

My SDs are 16 months apart. SD2 is crying right now cause SD1 farted on her hand. I guess that could be a bad thing but I'm laughing my ass off internally. These kids are nuts.