I'm at the end of my rope. DD is 3 and is starting preschool next month. She HAS to be PT.
I tried PTing 3 months ago and she was going tinkle on the toilet but stood up and freaked when the pee went down her leg. She really freaked. So I just stopped and thought I'd pick it up again after her birthday.
Today we went with big girl panties all day. She pissed and pooped and went through 5 panties and NEVER made it to the toilet, never said she needed to go and I put her on the damn thing every 30 mins.
WTF do I do? It's like she just doesn't "get it" and I'm so stressed out. We have already paid for the preschool and I NEED her to go. We have no close friends and zero family here. H can't take off everytime I have an appt or whatever. This has to work. I'm doing it wrong, I'd love some ideas or drinks. Lol
Do you have the three day method book? When starting, I ditched diapers and went with underwear (I think wet underwear is more uncomfortable) and you put her on the potty every 30 minutes for five minutes, the next day maybe every hour, and as they get better you can extend that time.
We did it over a weekend where we could dedicate a time to be in the house pretty much all day or near it. And, of course there were prizes and stickers.
Honestly, the more I tried to push it, the more he regressed so I'd back off for at least a few weeks and try again. It eventually worked a little after he was 3.
Do you take her to the bathroom, even if she says she doesn't have to go? When S was potty training, I took him every hour and sat him on the toilet so he got use to going in the toilet and so he could learn to hold it for a short time.
I'm not a parent...but I was talking to my sister yesterday, who is in the initial stages of PT'ing my nephew, and she mentioned he's wearing pull-ups. She even admitted to letting him watch Dora the Explorer just so he would wear the Dora pull-ups. Have you done pull-ups? I don't know anything about the different PT'ing "methods" -- but is there one you are specifically following?
Call her school and tell them the situation. They may have a room for those still potty training.
Also, give her time. The first few.days DS was the same way. Then all of a sudden it just clicked and he was running to the potty on his own. Now, the time between starting to pee and going to the potty is going to take time. But what's important in the beginning is that she puts an effort to going to the potty.
Okay, thanks ladies. I am going to take the ideas you have given me and try again tomorrow. I think I messed up because I didn't have her sit for 5 mins, I let her get off when she wanted. Tomorrow I'll do the 30 mins for 5 whole mins and see if it helps.
She has been in pull-ups for months so it's panties only because I heard it feels awful and DD confirmed that today.
The school has zero diapers and I signed saying she would be PT by the school start date. It's an actual school that goes to 8th grade, they don't "do" diapers/pull-ups. She is so smart and had likes to sit on the toilet so I thought it'd be easier. HA!!!!!
Break out a big reward, put it out in the open, then make a sticker chart of some sort. Every time she asks about the item, remind her what she needs to do it get it.
DS would not poop, or tell us he needed to pee. He just didn't care. The breakdown we did was 3 stickers for a poop, one for telling us he needed to pee. It was 50 or 60 stickers to get the reward. He really wanted a Lego space ship though and two or three weeks later was the fully potty trained owner of it.
Post by litebright on Jul 21, 2013 22:53:54 GMT -5
We were at that stage of peeing/pooping through panties, with zero self-motivation to go, back in about May. I was SO unhappy. I wanted DD2 PT'd by the time we went to Disney earlier this month and it seemed like it was never going to happen. She just didn't get it, at all. She'd happily pee or poop if we put her on the potty, but she didn't give a damn if she went in her pants.
We went back to diapers. I can't deal with the constant messes -- we went through day after day in panties and she didn't get it. Less than two months later, boom, I swear a switch flipped in her little head. She day-trained AND night-trained (although we still have her in pull-ups because we need to use them up).
Some things I'd suggest: - reward system (although this only really interested DD2 once she had a passing interest in PTing itself, otherwise she didn't really care about stickers or toys and only slightly about M&Ms). If she has a "currency" that is really important to her, play that up. - low-pressure practice. My kids like to read books on the potty. We let them stay on as long as they want and read to them, then do crazy praise when we catch them in the act. "You're peeing! You're pooping! AWESOME!!!" We have a little potty with a really squishy ring, and then we worked up to a potty ring & the regular potty when necessary. They were both a little scared of the potty ring on the toilet at first, and preferred to be at ground-level on the portable one. - observation. Take her in with you, let her see what you do and let her help with things like flushing, ripping PT, etc. A big part of DD2's motivation was that her big sister used the potty, and for DD1, she was interested in part because it was a "grown up" thing. - call the school and see what they suggest and how willing they are to work with you. I feel you, we're far from family as well and I know that it can be stressful. Your DD may be picking up on the pressure, too.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but sometimes it just takes time. There is only so much you can do to guide, so much of this is up to the child and their own development.
My daughters have been training since then were 18 months and showed interest. They used the potty at home, but I put them in pull-ups for going out and at night.
I read something recently and realized I had screwed it up. I starting putting them in underwear and not pull-ups. No diapers or pull-ups for the daytime period.
You want to be diaper-free/pull-up free and your child shows readiness, underwear all the way.
Also, don't be afraid of accidents. Accidents are a part of the process, the fun part, lol.
(This post is for entertainment purposes only. Be consult your physician regarding potty training. lol.)
The more i pushed the less it worked. Jack PTed on his own at 3 years and 3 months. It was instant. All other times were fruitless and were really stressing him out. He had to just become ready on his own.
Just lay off. I know it is stressful. But it is stressful for her. She isn't doing this on purpose.
Also this is why I don't agree with the arbitrary PT by 3 thing, but that is another can of worms.
Oh and by lay off I don't mean it in a snotty way.
Just in a try to be as breezy as possible. They can feel your anxiety/stress/etc and it makes it worse. I know a lot easier said than done.
For us rewards didn't work. Asking him to go every 5 minutes didn't work. Me just pretending we weren't even PT was the only thing that was successful. Once I took the pressure off it clicked for him.
Okay, thanks ladies. I am going to take the ideas you have given me and try again tomorrow. I think I messed up because I didn't have her sit for 5 mins, I let her get off when she wanted. Tomorrow I'll do the 30 mins for 5 whole mins and see if it helps.
She has been in pull-ups for months so it's panties only because I heard it feels awful and DD confirmed that today.
The school has zero diapers and I signed saying she would be PT by the school start date. It's an actual school that goes to 8th grade, they don't "do" diapers/pull-ups. She is so smart and had likes to sit on the toilet so I thought it'd be easier. HA!!!!!
Are you working or SAH? If you SAH I wanted to say that if she isn't potty trained by the beginning of the school year you can just pay for her spot and send her in a week or two, once she has the hang of it. Hopefully that takes some of the pressure off of you.
Also, does she know any older kids? For C, telling her she needed to be out of diapers to go to school like her big cousins and friends was a great incentive. Finding out what is a good motivator for your kids helps a lot and by going diaper free, taking away that safety net helps too.
Does she seem aware of her bodily functions? C would announce needing to poop and then having pooped while wearing diapers and she could hold it if we told her to.