"House Envy"

[AmyRI]

This article is the latest on the Hooked On Houses blog, and it was a perfect reminder for me. Sometimes I look around our house and only see the things left to do, and not the progress already made.



House Envy: What Not to Compare
by hookedonhouses on July 23, 2013

I had an interesting conversation with a friend that gave me some insight into the way I think about my house–and sometimes judge it unfairly. We were shopping at the mall together when she said, “I need you to turn me in to that show What Not to Wear so Clinton and Stacy can give me a makeover!”
She’s one of the most stylish people I know, so I asked her why on earth she thought she needed their help. She said spends a lot of time reading fashion magazines and blogs and feels like she never measures up. The more she talked, the more it sounded like she has a panel of highly fashionable judges in her head critiquing everything from her hair to her shoes.

I stopped her in the middle of the mall and said, “Look around at all these people walking past us. Point out just one of them you wish you had dressed like today.”

When she couldn’t find anyone to single out, she started to laugh. She admitted that she had probably been comparing herself to models and celebrities, even though models and celebrities don’t make a lot of appearances in our local mall–or her everyday life as a stay-at-home mom in general. Next to all the regular folks shopping around us, she looked like a movie star herself. She just hadn’t realized it before.

Besides that, she doesn’t have to look like she stepped out of a magazine. Unless you have a job as a cover girl, it’s not a requirement for your life. When did we start thinking it was?

Or that our houses have to be magazine worthy, for that matter? A little bell went ding! ding! ding! in my head. I realized that I have a bad habit of comparing my house to ones that are totally out of its league. And that’s not really fair, is it?



{I loved this kitchen in BH&G but even it looked less magazine worthy in real life before the stylists got to it. A good reminder that even the houses in magazines aren’t picture perfect.}


When you spend as much time looking at beautiful houses as I do, it can be easy to get consumed by house envy. I have a panel of judges in my head like my friend does, but mine are more likely to criticize my decorating than my fashion sense.

I’ve found it helps to give myself a reality check now and then by looking at our local real estate listings for other houses in the same price range as ours. It’s the real estate version of comparing yourself to your fellow shoppers in the mall.

I live in a neighborhood where the builder constructed the same 4 or 5 floor plans a million times, so I often find actual versions of mine. And you know what? They rarely suit me as much as mine does. Most of them wouldn’t work for our family without making a lot of changes, which reminds me that we have really made this home our own.

Nothing chases envy faster than a good old attitude of gratitude.



{Two sides of the same story}

Even when I do find something in our neighborhood I like better, I’m able to use it as inspiration because our houses are similar in size, location, and price range. The changes are usually more doable than something I saw in an English castle or a celebrity’s beach house.

So the next time you see a fabulous house that’s a million miles (and dollars) from yours, just remind yourself that it’s an unfair comparison and repeat after me:

“That house and mine are not shopping at the same mall!”

[susieq]

Very good article.

In college I worked as a gardener for a local architect. Southern Living came to do a photo shoot and along with the photographer and writer they brought a stylist and a semi full of props. When they photographed the garden it looked NOTHING like it does in everyday life. I started giving the side eye to all gardening / home magazines since then.

[bunnymendelbaum]

Jul 24, 2013 7:14:47 GMT -5 susieq said:

Very good article.

In college I worked as a gardener for a local architect. Southern Living came to do a photo shoot and along with the photographer and writer they brought a stylist and a semi full of props. When they photographed the garden it looked NOTHING like it does in everyday life. I started giving the side eye to all gardening / home magazines since then.

My husband told me a similar story last week. In college they took a field trip to a house designed by a very famous architect. A photographer was there taking photos and he showed them tricks he uses. He literally held a branch in one hand when taking an exterior shot with the other to obscure a vent. HA!

[stephm0188]

I have to remind myself of this often.

Our neighborhood is one where the same floorplan is built over and over. They've built over the course of nearly 20 years, introducing new plans and phasing old plans out, but many plans have stayed in the mix since the beginning. Our house was built in the second phase, in 19996. Apparently the floorplan wasn't popular, because they only built four of them before they stopped offering it. On top of that, the original owners had they rework the top floor, so it really is a one of a kind home in a neighborhood full of duplicates. We bought the house knowing it had great bones but needed to be updated. It's so hard to walk into a neighbor's newer house and see their shiny wood floors or newish carpet ornew appliances and not compare it to my ugly duckling of a house.

[heygrey]

this is such a good reminder.

i finally stopped looking at pictures and just LOVING everything and really started evaluating what in particular stood out to me. looking at the picture of the kitchen with blue chairs... i love the farmhouse table. i the height of the room and the natural light. beyond that, there is really nothing i'd want exactly in my house. and once i could articulate "i like farmhouse tables," suddenly i had a tangible things i could replicate in my own space.

it's easy to get swept up in the shininess of the photos, but i haven't found one yet that i'd trade exactly for my house.

[missymoose]

Thankyou for this post!! This is really a good reminder to be thankful and to love what you have also. I needed that today