Bridal Showers ($$$)

[winnied]

If you have been or would be in the wedding of a close friend, how much have/would you paid/pay for the shower? I'm in the way, way early planning stages so people will of course be asked their spending limits, I just wanted to get an idea from you guys to manage my expectations. 

[mrsbro]

It's hard w/o knowing how many people are in the wedding party, if you asking how much for the whole day (including gifts and drinks for the bride/groom) or just the bm contribution for the venue?

The last one I did was about 200 for the bridal shower and that didn't include a gift/drinks,etc.

[winnied]

There are five BMs and it'll be ladies only. I was thinking in the ball park of $150, not including gifts (drinks included in the original estimate.)

[thejen626]

I'm co-hosting bridal shower for my BFF in 2 weeks.

I'll end up spending about $300 on food and drinks (so far spent $40 on chocolate for my chocolate fountain, $50 on a cake, still need to buy lots of food and champagne for bellinis). The other co-host is making most of the food and providing all the decor (but it's stuff she already has).

We also went in on a group gift that's $500, and so far out friends have contributed $300 total, so I will split the difference with the other hostess.

I'm also attending her Moms friends shower, and got a $25 gift.

For the bachelorette party I am making Jell-O shots and splitting a hotel room with the other cohost, and 4 of us are going to spend the night. It's $140 for the whole hotel room. We are going to a country bar, but I'm not planning on buying any rounds or anything there.

I've also spent $100 on a bridesmaid dress, $50 on shoes, $75 for an updo, and makeup will be around $50.

[Deleted]

We don't do fancy showers in my circle, so $200 would be my max.

[thejen626]

Oh, forgot the invitations...I spent $15 on Etsy, then went to kinkos for printing. It was $25 to print them all, and another $25 to cut them. I wasn't expecting it to be that expensive!

[mbcdefg]

I've never been a bridesmaid - but I'd spend no more than $200 for a friend, and a bit more for my sister or my best friend.

And that really depends on how many other bridesmaids/hostesses there are ... I'd spend $500+ on my sister if it was just me and our mom hosting, but I wouldn't spend anywhere near that much if the other bridesmaids could help.

For $150 each, would that be a home shower or a restaurant shower? I think $150pp in reasonable for a restaurant shower, but ultimately if they come back to you and say they can only do $50pp then there's really nothing you can do about that.

[Deleted]

I did one for 30 people at the end of June. I ended up spending $500

[shortstax]

I've spent everywhere from $100-400 on a bridal shower. There's a lot of factors in there (# of guests, # of people offering to contribute, the one bride who demanded we do it at her country club but it would be wrong to book in her mom's name so I had to pay the non-member fee, etc)

[definitelyO]

it depends. I helped throw one for a friend - most of her BM were out of town. I paid $75 but hosted at my house and there were 5 of us pitching in - we did a brunch with mimosas and made the food ourselves.

I've also paid $500 (total shower cost $1500) for catered event in my backyard with rented tables, chairs, linens, favors, flowers, cake, etc..

[winnied]

I was thinking at a restaurant for brunch. All but one of the BMs live out of state (the bride does as well) so hosting it at one of our places it's feasible. A aunt, or even her mom, may host but I want us to be an option in case no one offers.

[mccallister84]

When we threw my sisters everyone chipped in $75 but then each girl did something on their own that they just paid for - i.e. one girl did invites, another did games and gifts, one girl made a huge alcoholic punch that I'm assuming they spent around $50 extra dollars on.

We did it at my parents house and my sisters and I (who were all bridesmaids) ended up throwing in a whole lot more money. I probably spent closer to $500.

So I guess my point is have a good idea of cost estimates before you ask people for money.  I expected to spend more and was happy to do so, but I didn't realize how much extra I would be throwing in.  The little things just kept adding up.  In retrospect, I probably could have asked for $100 from everyone and they would have happily given it and since there were a number of bridesmaids it would have knocked down my personal contribution a decent amount. 

[sa]

We usually do brunch showers at a restaurant and they usually run $20-$30 a person. Factor in the cost of decorations, favors, invitations, etc. It adds up.

We've usually had a good sized group splitting the cost so it's been fairly reasonable considering the overall cost, though not cheap.

Definitely start off by asking what the girls feel comfortable spending and then go from there.

[winnied]

Thanks, ladies. This is all really helpful!

[Deleted]

I have contributed $50-80 when co-hosting showers, but I'd be willing to go up to $200.

[Deleted]

This totally depends. At this point in my life, I might spend $500 or so for a very close friend, maybe even more for a sister. When I was in school, $50 would have been a stretch. I'd say an average, reasonable amount would be maybe $100 apiece?

ETA: If the ladies are a little older (by that I mean not beebees, so late 20s) and out of school, I think $150 would probably be ok, just as long as you get everyone to agree to it beforehand. 

[mbcdefg]

I think it's fine to price out a brunch shower, and in your "What's your budget?" email you can point out that a restaurant is probably easiest since everyone lives out of state. And if everyone says something like $100-125, you could say that you found a place that can do brunch for $150pp if they can swing a little extra for the convenience,

However, I would also explore some cheaper options ... that way if they get back to you with quotes under $150pp, you can present another alternative that's more in line with what they can pay. Maybe there's a church hall or a VFW that you can rent, and get the food from a local deli or supermarket.

Or, if you really want the brunch shower, be prepared to pay the difference yourself to make up for it. I agree with you that this sounds like the easiest option (and would probably be the most common in my circle), but if they don't have $150 then they just don't have it.

[sporky]

There a lot of factors to play into it. For my former BFF, there was only myself and one other friend in the wedding party, and that friend didn't want to contribute any more than $20. So I ended up shelling out around $500. But that's definitely on the high side from my experiences.

[jackie011]

My sister got married last year and 3 of us threw her shower at pretty nice sit down restaurant in town. (After consulting with what felt like 1,000,000 places!) My portion of the food bill for 30+ people was about $275, including drinks, gratuity & tax. I probably spent another $75-100 on decorations, flowers, invites, etc. One of the other hostesses paid for the cake and favors. The third hostess gave the two of us a little cash because she felt bad that she really just came to the party! We each gave our own gift. No complaints, but it was my only sister, so I would have spent just about anything.

In my circle of friends, the mother's friends threw the bridal showers and they were usually pretty fancy, at restaurants/Country Clubs, etc. Now that we're all married, we're throwing baby showers. For the most part, those are far more basic and usually held at someone's house. I've spent about $100 for my "share" plus a gift.