Lauranicole

[Deleted]

I didn't want this to get lost in the original thread.

When I was pregnant Thad was iugr for no apparent reason. I was a mess thinking that I had somehow done something wrong. That my body was failing him and I didn't know how to fix it. My obgyn said the most valuable thing to me and I think it applies here:

I am not saying that this baby is not perfectly happy, healthy, and normal. But, this situation is not normal. It is my job to address this situation through medical means. It is your job to share your personal insights with me (was he moving, active, did I feel funny--for you is she happy, active, making consistent developmental gains) and be an advocate for your kid. If you don't trust me enough to take my advice then you need to find another licensed medical professional who you do trust.

Remember--it is the situation that isn't normal. Not the kid, or the parents. And it could be that she just isn't a "normal" grower. But, the doctors have to establish that beyond a doubt or they aren't doing their jobs.

Xoxoxo

[angiekay84]

I agree with you and your doctor. We may not like hearing some things and they may suck with communication at times. I can be overly sensitive and would have felt like you. Glad to hear your doctor had some nice, rational things to share.

[lauranicole91]

I appreciate your kind words and personal story, I do. But I'm not quite understanding the overall feel I'm getting from the board now. I am not in denial here. I am not NOT trusting her drs. I do know something isn't right if she's only gained 3lbs in 10months. But I just think there are other approaches he dr is failing to try first. I just hate the BFing has to be attacked first.

And it's been pointed out to me personally away from the board that my post comes off as if they want to start tube feeding her next week.

That's not the case. Her dr can see she is happy and developing perfectly fine and has always been a little ahead of the game. She just simply said that at the rate she is going FTT COULD possible become and issue in the future. I didn't leave the office today with a diagnosis of FTT.

Maybe some of my posts didn't quite get worded right. Her dr is concerned and is starting to look into options to change her diet (seeing a nutritionalist and speech therapy) but hospitalization was just a "threat" of the impending doom if these efforts don't make a difference.

[sunshineluv]

I think I mis interpreted the orginal post too, I thought the doc was threatening to send Pey to the hospital soon. Things get lost in translation on the good ole web. (Or from me reading to my brain!)

I saw your follow up, you asked for a referral, thats the best first step :-). You got this!!

Hopefully your DH or someone can come with you to future visits to take notes and ask questions, I am bad to walk out of doc visits, and think, what was that one thing she said?

[rjamz]

Jul 30, 2013 13:11:49 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

It sounds like your pediatrician has been taking a pretty conservative approach and is really trying to work with you here. For me, it was the part where you said the doctor had "decided to blame breastfeeding" that set the post up to sound like it's you against the doctor. I obviously have not been in the room, but I don't think your pediatrician is just attacking your parenting choices to be difficult or contrary. She has a legitimate concern and is making suggestions using her best knowledge and medical judgment (which is limited since she is a GP and not a specialist). I think your post was made out of frustration and concern, so I can understand the wording coming from that perspective, but that could be why people are getting the impression that you don't trust your doctor.

All of this.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[Deleted]

All I was trying to say was that you are not alone in your fears/frustrations and that it helped me to think about identifying the situation as not normal, not the kid.

I think all anyone is trying to do is give support and suggestions. We are on the outside of this situation looking in and it seems like everyone is trying to do what is best for Peyton including the doctor. I'm sorry if you felt....ganged up on?....I am positive that no one intended you to feel that way.

[biblionerd]

Yes, I'm mobile so it's hard to keep up, but I thought you said/meant she was ftt right now. From what I read at first it sounded quite serious. I dont think you're not taking it seriously at all, so I hope I didn't seem that way.

[biblionerd]

Jul 30, 2013 12:52:25 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

. I just hate the BFing has to be attacked first.

i know I shouldn't say anything else, but I feel like this is part if what confuses me about your relationship/ trust with the drs. I'm NOT anti-bf'ing and I'm not saying that you should or should not EP or bf, but I truly do not think your dr is "attacking" bf'ing. Part of what I do get from your posts is that it seems you feel like its very me and bf'ing vs them. Since that's a very personal issue I can see why it's upsetting. But to your drs I really believe that clinically they think they are doing what's best. Bf'ing isn't their first line of "attack", it sounds like that's what they think makes the most sense given her history. If it were something so non-personal as bf'ing, like "we think she's allergic to wheat so stop feeding her anything with wheat in it" I don't think you would be so upset. I KNOW it's not the same, but to a dr they don't (or tend not to?) put emphasis on the personal side of things. Your bf'ing is clincal to them and nothing more, and to them it makes the most sense. I think that's why if you do t trust their opinion about the bf'ing being the first attempt then you should see someone else. If you don't trust their advice about the bf'ing then that's ok! It really is ok to not trust a drs plan or diagnosis. Sometimes you can talk to them and work through it from either side or someone's you just need a new dr who's more in line with you.

[TrudyCampbell]

Laura, doctors like breastfeeding! Breast is best and all that jazz. I don't think he would be mentioning breastfeeding unless he was really concerned, and he DOES still want Peyton to get breast milk.

Everyone here is trying to help you.   (hug)

[lolaburns]

I hope the GI doctor can see you guys soon and guide you into a better path/ pinpoint if there is anything wrong or if everything is ok.

My cousin's daughter has Celiac's and was FTT as a toddler . She refused solids and I remember things being really difficult and emotional until the diagnosis was made. Once they figured things and there was a plan she grew like a weed.

I don't think the doctor is being unsupportive, but he's just concerned and that's his job. It doesn't mean you are doing something wrong but it would be malpractice for him to not figure this out and help. We are all here to support you too.

[lauranicole91]

We are all set to see a GI specialist on Tuesday at 1:30.

In the mean time I have been stretching her nursing sessions today. I'm making her wait 2.5-3hrs between nursing sessions today. Which still isn't ideal but it's a start considering she usually goes 30mins to 1hr on a normal day.

[lolaburns]

Oh my goodness! I didn't know she was nursing/snacking every 30 minutes! I bet that's maybe the problem, lady! Maybe she's filling up on breast milk and burning the calories off too quickly or something.

[TrudyCampbell]

Jul 30, 2013 15:40:28 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

We are all set to see a GI specialist on Tuesday at 1:30.

In the mean time I have been stretching her nursing sessions today. I'm making her wait 2.5-3hrs between nursing sessions today. Which still isn't ideal but it's a start considering she usually goes 30mins to 1hr on a normal day.

I am not attacking your breastfeeding choices and I am pro-BF all the way, but she is breastfeeding more than a newborn! I know she is asking for it and I'm really not sure how to say no to her in that situation because I haven't been faced with it, but it sounds very difficult. But since she's BFing on such a regular schedule it sounds like it's no surprise that she isn't into food. 

Or is this "normal"? Are the other ladies who are still BFing doing it this often? It just sounds like A LOT to me because that's more than I ever breastfeed Violet, ever. 

[laurack]

I never nursed that often even when she was a newborn. To me it sounds "wrong " that a 16 month old would nurse every 30-60 mins but that may be a "society has skewed my perception of it" type thing?

I think every three hours sounds good and maybe she will take in as much over the day anyway just in fewer sessions?

You obviously have a great supply if you get engorged and can pump 5oz at this age so I do think they should do some sort of testing as there may be something going on... Maybe she nurses so much because she wants the calories but can't absorb them? So hard to know.

I hope you have a good visit with the specialist and leave with some answers or at least some hope of answers soon.

[eav2c]

Jul 30, 2013 15:46:29 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Jul 30, 2013 15:40:28 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

We are all set to see a GI specialist on Tuesday at 1:30.

In the mean time I have been stretching her nursing sessions today. I'm making her wait 2.5-3hrs between nursing sessions today. Which still isn't ideal but it's a start considering she usually goes 30mins to 1hr on a normal day.

I am not attacking your breastfeeding choices and I am pro-BF all the way, but she is breastfeeding more than a newborn! I know she is asking for it and I'm really not sure how to say no to her in that situation because I haven't been faced with it, but it sounds very difficult. But since she's BFing on such a regular schedule it sounds like it's no surprise that she isn't into food. 

Or is this "normal"? Are the other ladies who are still BFing doing it this often? It just sounds like A LOT to me because that's more than I ever breastfeed Violet, ever. 

I don't think it's normal. It does sound like more than a newborn nurses which really sounds like she is filling up just enough on breast milk to be content. Colin nurses 3x's a day (wake up, before nap, bedtime) and sometimes a 4th time given the day. He does nurse at night 2-3 times but it's very quick and more to settle him than for the actual milk. I am obviously pro-BFing but I think that the sheer amount of sessions should be examined.

[angiekay84]

Laura, please don't feel attacked! I promise that was not the board's intent. Your post (probably because you just came from the doctor's office and were understandably emotional) came off very serious and a little " F U " to the doctors.

This is a board of concerned mommies, in all things, naturally the ladies would all be "OMG.....what about this, this, and this!??!?" That is just part of us being moms, we probably over-help and get all worked up along with you because we've "known" you and P for so long now. We can't help ourselves!

Do keep us updated and we all send happy gaining and GI vibes!

[Deleted]

Is she EBF'd? I saw that she doesn't like food but is she literally just living on breastmilk right now?

[lauranicole91]

She has eaten today. Not any more or less than a usual day. She had about half of a breakfast sandwich (sausage egg and cheese crissant) and a quarter of a blueberry donut. We ha dunkin donuts for breakfast. Haha.

She's also had a banana, 3/4 of a hot dog that had cheese on it and was dipped in ketchup, and a few sips of a smoothie. We also bought some pouches t see what she would do. She had about half of one of those.

When I talked to the LC over the phone today she said that her amount of nursing and boob snacking is nor normal or abnormal-every kid is different. But matched with her lack of weight gain may be cause for concern. So it's not absolutely outrageous that she nurses that much.

[Deleted]

Yeah that doesn't sound drastically small. My kids eat a ridiculous amount so it's hard to compare exactly but it isn't like she isn't eating at all. That's good. That's a place to start. I haven't been here so I was worried she was still EBF and I think that would make the BF argument more strong.

The LC will be able to help you and the GI will be able to help P. Good luck!

[thedahliharpa]

*head desk*

Genuine concern with a healthy dose of scolding and "you're doing it wrong".

[TrudyCampbell]

That doesn't sound like that small of an amount of food. Violet eats a ton so it's hard to compare but that's more than I thought she was eating.

[lauranicole91]

Jul 30, 2013 16:34:37 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

That doesn't sound like that small of an amount of food. Violet eats a ton so it's hard to compare but that's more than I thought she was eating.

And that's before dinner and the snack she will likely have before bed.

This is making me lean more towards an absorption issue then? Or thyroid? I don't want to sound all crazy hypochondriac though.

I should add that her poopy diapers are completely regular (once or twice daily) and they are never a weird consistency or strange color. Never any mucous or blood. Just normal brown poop-mainly that wedged toddler poop.

That's why I've never been concerned GI wise. I mean poop, gas, or obvious discomfort would have ha me concerned early on but once her reflux went away at 2m old I stopped even considering stomach issues.

[Deleted]

That's more than Thad eats most days....which proves nothing.

[TrudyCampbell]

Jul 30, 2013 16:38:57 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Jul 30, 2013 16:34:37 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

That doesn't sound like that small of an amount of food. Violet eats a ton so it's hard to compare but that's more than I thought she was eating.

And that's before dinner and the snack she will likely have before bed.

This is making me lean more towards an absorption issue then? Or thyroid? I don't want to sound all crazy hypochondriac though.

I should add that her poopy diapers are completely regular (once or twice daily) and they are never a weird consistency or strange color. Never any mucous or blood. Just normal brown poop-mainly that wedged toddler poop.

That's why I've never been concerned GI wise. I mean poop, gas, or obvious discomfort would have ha me concerned early on but once her reflux went away at 2m old I stopped even considering stomach issues.

Maybe?? 

I think that's a decent amt of food ESPECIALLY since she's BFing so much. And since your supply is still kicking ass (which I'm impressed with! Mine sucked at the end) she's def getting a lot of milk. So it seems to me like she is eating a lot of calories in a day. 

I know some breast milk is lower cal than others? I don't know. I am sure the GI will have a lot of great suggestions! 

[gummibear]

That's more than what Lilly usually eats! I'm glad you have an appt with the specialist to make sure she is absorbing food correctly.

[devonpow]

Jul 30, 2013 16:39:04 GMT -5 @thadsrad said:

That's more than Thad eats most days....which proves nothing.

Ditto. Elliot barely eats. He hasn't eaten lunch in about two weeks. But, again it proves nothing other than all kids being different. 

[formerlyllizzyb]

Yeah, that sounds similar to G's intake, plus some wcm.

[lauranicole91]

We had chickfila for dinner. She had a bite of a fry and a spoon full of ice cream. She did drink almost the whole thing of the chocolate milk that came with it though. She refused the chicken nuggets.

[cat19]

This all just sucks and makes me sad. I hope you get a resolution when you see the GI. ((hugs))

[hass2001]

I just want to add that that is about as much as Sam eats in a day, as far as solids. So I hope that something more serious isn't going on.

Sam will nurse 2x most days. 3 if she wakes during the night and I can't get her back down. Add an extra session for before naps Saturday and Sunday.

Do you think there might be something with your milk? I thought I remember reading somewhere that bm calorie content goes down after a year? Usually a toddler will get 20 oz of wcm (at least that is what my pedi says. We struggle with 20, it's more like 10) in addition to our nursing. Maybe all the bm she is getting from you gets used up so quickly, because pey is so active.