BFing question- tandem baby/toddler

[Deleted]

I definitely want to nurse my next baby and if I do get pregnant soon, I don't think D is ready to wean. I know she may wean on her own when I'm pregnant but I'm not sure if I want to encourage that or not. I don't think I want to tandem nurse but I guess it wouldn't be a big deal. I also feel like if I wean while pregnant she'll just want it again when she sees the baby nursing.

So anyway, my question. If I nurse D throughout my entire pregnancy then how does the new baby get colostrum? And isn't your breastmilk different for a newborn and toddler? Like calories and consistency, etc? Does anyone know how all this works?

Are any of you pregnant girls planning on tandem nursing? I think a few are still nursing right?

[TrudyCampbell]

I might be wrong so ill let the experts chime in, but I think your milk changes to accommodate the new baby.

[Deleted]

Jul 31, 2013 14:27:02 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

I might be wrong so ill let the experts chime in, but I think your milk changes to accommodate the new baby.

This is my understanding and I think is the reason some toddlers wean on their own.

[carawestt]

I was wondering the same thing about the colostrum and my dr said that your body knows when it's ready to start over and will produce what you need.

I have no plans to tandem nurse and Lincoln basically cut himself down to 2 times a day (with an occasional MOTN feed). I stopped offering during the day when I was about 10 weeks but never refused if he asked for it. I know I still have a good supply, since I leak sometimes, but it's very watery so I know he's not getting much from it. It did start to get painful around 12-13 weeks, so I probably would've cut his sessions down anyway because it's very uncomfortable. I think you have to wait and see what happens when you're PG since every body is different. Laney might wean herself, your supply might drop, etc. but either way, your body will adjust to whatever you choose to do.

[Deleted]

Jul 31, 2013 14:32:33 GMT -5 carawestt said:

I was wondering the same thing about the colostrum and my dr said that your body knows when it's ready to start over and will produce what you need.

I have no plans to tandem nurse and Lincoln basically cut himself down to 2 times a day (with an occasional MOTN feed). I stopped offering during the day when I was about 10 weeks but never refused if he asked for it. I know I still have a good supply, since I leak sometimes, but it's very watery so I know he's not getting much from it. It did start to get painful around 12-13 weeks, so I probably would've cut his sessions down anyway because it's very uncomfortable. I think you have to wait and see what happens when you're PG since every body is different. Laney might wean herself, your supply might drop, etc. but either way, your body will adjust to whatever you choose to do.

Ya I've already stopped offering and I actually do refuse sometimes because in the last few days she has been wanting to nurse so much!! But I think she just went through a big growth spurt and I was on my period and my supply sucked so she was wanting more. Now that my period is over I'm freaking engorged!! Ugh! Anyway, I don't really want to tandem but was just curious how it all worked. That totally makes sense about it changing and causing the toddler to self wean- I kind of hope that happens!

[fusion]

when you expel your placenta you get a rush of hormones that will start making colostrum

[cat19]

I think if Lily is still nursing being engorged will suck so much less...

[laurack]

so do both baby and toddler then get colostrum? and the milk probably starts gushing out again so the toddler might be like WHOAH! But in a good way perhaps?!

[nilex0102]

Jul 31, 2013 14:55:01 GMT -5 laurack said:

so do both baby and toddler then get colostrum? and the milk probably starts gushing out again so the toddler might be like WHOAH! But in a good way perhaps?!

I think keep in mind that the toddler is so much more efficient than the newborn and probably nursing more for comfort than food.

[creamsiclechica]

Yeah, fusion is absolutely right, from according to what I read. Your body does make the switch to colostrum, and it's perfectly fine for your toddler to get it too, according to Kellymom. However, their website says your body can switch to colostrum sooner than delivery too. Sometimes that can cause a toddler to self wean, but not always.

On there, there's a bunch of resources for tandem nursing, or a toddler that becomes interested after weaning when a newborn is nursing too. The composition of your milk does change to accommodate the newborn, but it's not bad for a toddler to get either. Might have to limit nursing sessions for your toddler if it affects their food intake, but otherwise, it's fine!

I wasn't going to tandem nurse at first, but right now, I'm going with I will see how things go for me, A, and Carter when the time comes. My midwife says that it is possible to be nursing your toddler right through labor even and your supply will adjust just fine, so I'll just have to evaluate the emotional and physical toll it takes on all of us. I know that A isn't ready to wean at all, and I don't want to force her into, especially when my supply is fine.

My advice so far is that it's okay to evaluate your nursing relationship with D as your pregnancy progresses, and it's okay to not have it all figured out beforehand. And, just to try, try, try to keep your caloric intake and hydration WAY up while pregnant to maintain supply if you want to keep going, but not to be discouraged/upset if you can't. Especially in the beginning, it was really hard. Harder than it was when she was a newborn, honestly.

Good luck!

[Deleted]

Jul 31, 2013 15:04:32 GMT -5 creamsiclechica said:

Yeah, fusion is absolutely right, from according to what I read. Your body does make the switch to colostrum, and it's perfectly fine for your toddler to get it too, according to Kellymom. However, their website says your body can switch to colostrum sooner than delivery too. Sometimes that can cause a toddler to self wean, but not always.

On there, there's a bunch of resources for tandem nursing, or a toddler that becomes interested after weaning when a newborn is nursing too. The composition of your milk does change to accommodate the newborn, but it's not bad for a toddler to get either. Might have to limit nursing sessions for your toddler if it affects their food intake, but otherwise, it's fine!

I wasn't going to tandem nurse at first, but right now, I'm going with I will see how things go for me, A, and Carter when the time comes. My midwife says that it is possible to be nursing your toddler right through labor even and your supply will adjust just fine, so I'll just have to evaluate the emotional and physical toll it takes on all of us. I know that A isn't ready to wean at all, and I don't want to force her into, especially when my supply is fine.

My advice so far is that it's okay to evaluate your nursing relationship with D as your pregnancy progresses, and it's okay to not have it all figured out beforehand. And, just to try, try, try to keep your caloric intake and hydration WAY up while pregnant to maintain supply if you want to keep going, but not to be discouraged/upset if you can't. Especially in the beginning, it was really hard. Harder than it was when she was a newborn, honestly.

Good luck!

Thanks! I've just been thinking about it a lot because I feel like *I'm* ready to wean her but I know she isn't. And she's not a great eater so I know she needs the nutrition. But I am definitely going to play it all by ear and just go with the flow. Thank you for the information though, seriously so helpful! And good for you for keeping it up!! I'm sure it's not easy but so worth it!

[UnicornDog]

I want to tandem nurse. LLL has a whole book about it that I plan to read.

[thedahliharpa]

Jul 31, 2013 18:32:28 GMT -5 UnicornDog said:

I want to tandem nurse. LLL has a whole book about it that I plan to read.

There is also Adventures in Toddler Nursing

I was relieved ladybug that H's weaning happened before we began TTC. I was torn and felt like I was let off the hook. I also didn't want to avoid dairy while pregnant, although perhaps I should have..

[Deleted]

Jul 31, 2013 18:43:53 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Jul 31, 2013 18:32:28 GMT -5 UnicornDog said:

I want to tandem nurse. LLL has a whole book about it that I plan to read.

There is also Adventures in Toddler Nursing

I was relieved ladybug that H's weaning happened before we began TTC. I was torn and felt like I was let off the hook. I also didn't want to avoid dairy while pregnant, although perhaps I should have..

You know what I realized last night? A lot of my vomiting from morning sickness was always after bowls of cereal and glasses of milk- could it because she was sensitive?? Should I avoid dairy next time? Not everytime was after dairy but enough that I now recognize it- my worst experience I remember was after a HUGE glass of chocolate milk!!

[thedahliharpa]

That doesn't sound crazy to me. I wonder if pregnancy changed your ability to process the proteins which somehow translated to her or if it was your body's way of saying hey lay off of this. Some sources say to cut it for subsequent pregnancies and some say to cut it during third tri. If you can start "clean" you will know from day 1 that milk isn't an issue. Then when you introduce it you can tell right away. My theories may sound nuts but after once again having a doctor admit that they can't explain what causes food protein intolerances my theories are as valid as the rest of them.

I didn't have it in me to go back to being dairy free while pregnant. H weaned at the end of May and I was pregnant 2 months later. I didn't go crazy with dairy during pregnancy but I ate what I wanted. I'm also 2 for 2 with these issues.

[thedahliharpa]

Oh and I read somewhere ladybug that if the mother has a sensitivity it can trigger some kind of in utero reaction which mimics the reaction in the fetus but its not conclusive.

[devotchka]

I have 3 friends that were nursing toddlers, 1 just had a baby, 1 is about to and the 3rd is due in September. Here's a little bit about their experiences:

1. Friend w/ a 3 year old and newborn nursed her (now) 3YO throughout the pregnancy, although it hurt her like hell, and then when she had her baby she said it felt VERY weird to nurse such a big boy. Even though deep inside she wanted to nurse him, she just felt like he was taking all the baby's milk and it grossed her out physically. She said she lets him comfort nurse sometimes but he's pretty much weaned.

2. Friend w/ 2.5 yr old who is about to have a baby any day now - she had so much boob pain while pregnant and nursing that she actually weaned her LO when she was about 20 months old. She used bandaids on her nipples and told her that her boobs are "sick" and have boo boos and that seemed to work.

3. Friend w/ 2 yr old who is due in Sept - really wanted to tandem nurse and be able to nurse through her pregnancy but she seemed to be having aversions to being touched in general and had a lot of boob pain and her milk pretty much dried up and her toddler ended up weaning at about 20 months or so. When I was visiting her last month, he was still interested (VERY!) in the boobs, but it was obvious that nothing would come out when he tried to nurse so he was over it. He was very curious when I nursed and wanted my milk - he was hilariously both fascinated but creeped out by my boobs

HTH!