I am a negative Nancy today.

[UnicornDog]

H worked late last night, plus he works late tonight. He worked late once last week, one weekend day before that plus overnight once, and we all remember the night of my BFP. H works a lot when he gets home, doing phone conferences and such, so it's like he's not here maybe two or three nights a week. I have been chasing E all night to stop her from pulling the lamps down onto herself, from jumping off furniture, from getting into garbage etc etc etc. She also has been on a biting and hair pulling streak. I could really use five minutes to poop by myself without prying little teeth off my leg while I'm trying to push out a crap dragon.

Then when H is home, he criticizes my parenting a lot. Lately it is usually to do with E's eating and whether she gets enough protein. Guys, she's a pretty good eater for a toddler! For example, the last day he took me to task over her food, she ate:

--1 slice of buttered (with smart balance for extra omegas) toast and 1 egg scrambled with cottage cheese for breakfast
--wheat crackers with hummus and broccoli for lunch
--brown rice with black beans and strawberries for dinner
--an apple carrot pouch as a snack
--lots of BM and water to drink throughout the day

Of course, she doesn't eat the WHOLE slice of toast or egg; some food ends up on the floor, but E does eat a significant portion of her food at each meal. Surprise surprise, he has no suggestions for what I should do differently beyond "more protein." That seems like a good meal plan for a day for her, though? Am I wrong here?

I just feel really discouraged lately. I just can't imagine handling this kind of schedule with a toddler AND a newborn, plus none of it ever being enough. I have no life as it is, and I pretty much committed career suicide by not volunteering at a museum or going to openings and such to network while I SAHM. Before my BFP I told H I wanted to take a class at a local martial arts place, and he said sure...but I told him I don't know how I could possibly do it unless he either biked less or decreased his commitment to work. He disagreed, but then that week I couldn't even get away at night for half an hour to go get information about their classes (the web site only had an out of date schedule). I feel like he just doesn't get it.

We are having a date night on Sunday (going to a music festival), and that will probably be a lot of fun. I have a nice home and don't have to worry about anything too scary in my day to day life. I know I should feel happy and grateful for these things, and I do...but I also feel like there should be more. I feel like I should not be a SAHM if I am getting so exasperated with her like this, but also like there must be something wrong with me to not be more patient or for my kids to be enough for me right now. I feel like with the resources at my disposal, this should be easy for me.

Ok. I'm done venting. Thanks for reading all that, if you did.

[DesertMoon]

I could have wrote a lot of this myself. As far as what she's eating...I mean I think it's fantastic, maybe throw in a slice of chicken or fish 3times a week for extra protein.

I'm sorry he works like crazy my DH works all nights and I hardly see him. Julian is a hitter as well, a slapper mostly. He is exhausting and I enjoy my few hours of school away from him as a little baby break. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone, some people get restless or bored,I can't wait to start working, I haven't worked in 3 yrs since moving to Canada, so I know how it feels.

Maybe when you go out with your DH and he's in a good mood, talk to him more about it casually, tell him how you feel and say I would "appreciate" you helping me with this that and this. It might help him understand better what you need.

Good luck and I think your doing great, I wish you the happiness you desire.

[robinsparkles430]

I just want to say you are doing a great job with E. You are offering a nice variety of healthy food and your H needs to realize that toddlers eat what they want. You can only offer it to them not force it on them.

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I hope it gets better for you soon!

[DesertMoon]

Oh I didn't know you were a vegetarian lol...never mind the chicken then!

[devonpow]

In terms of what she is eating: I would do a major happy dance if E (or H!, lol) would eat that well. Today E had pancakes and strawberries for breakfast (barely touched), banana for a morning sack, a bagel with cream cheese and blueberries for lunch (he didn't eat it at all. Maybe licked some cream cheese off) , applesauce for an afternoon snack, and two turkey meatballs for dinner. He maaaaay have eaten a green bean and some of the chickpea salad at dinner, but it's hard to tell. And today was a good day!! Why is he so concerned with protein? Is he a vegetarian as well? 

In terms of your DH being gone a lot..I'm with you. DH works from 8-8:30 (often later) every workday. Other than 5 minutes or so of joint parenting in the mornings, all child care is me, all week. The kids go to bed long before he gets home from work. My sanity comes from a regular babysitter and the gym (and gym daycare!) You NEED time for yourself. Can you get a sitter once a week?

in terms of not feeling up to par as a SAHM because you feel frustrated with her, etc. Preach it, sister. I found myself perusing daycare websites today because E has been such a PITA this week that I want to go back to work. Then I remember that I have been out of the workforce for 6.5 years now, plus no job would work due to DHs schedule and travel (plus the fact that I really do love being a SAHM. I just really dislike it some days, KWIM?) 

[eav2c]

Hey, it's okay, darling. I feel very similar to how you feel and I am sure others do too. It's a hard time. This morning I was freaking the fuck out panicking how I would handle two when I can't even keep my damn head straight with one. But, I look at C and he's thriving... I don't have all my crap together, none of us do, but I think our kids are a testament to how wonderful we all are. The stuff she is doing, C does too, it's apart of this age (it's a wonderful age but man it is FUCKING HARD sometimes!). But E is so wonderful and thriving and cute and perfect and you know why? Because of you. I think part of being a mother is showing your weaknesses at time to help humble your kids. We aren't perfect human beings and have needs too and it makes it so damn hard that they don't get it. But as hard as some days are, remind yourself how wonderful you are. You got this. You will be able to handle two like a pro. They will be super best buds and you will look back at these years when they are older and won't remember all the times you wanted a kid-free poop! Big hugs xoxo

As for your H... well, you know where I am with that, lol. I have no advice. But I do have love for you

[UnicornDog]

Jul 31, 2013 20:20:50 GMT -5 DesertMoon said:

I could have wrote a lot of this myself. As far as what she's eating...I mean I think it's fantastic, maybe throw in a slice of chicken or fish 3times a week for extra protein.

I'm sorry he works like crazy my DH works all nights and I hardly see him. Julian is a hitter as well, a slapper mostly. He is exhausting and I enjoy my few hours of school away from him as a little baby break. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone, some people get restless or bored,I can't wait to start working, I haven't worked in 3 yrs since moving to Canada, so I know how it feels.

Maybe when you go out with your DH and he's in a good mood, talk to him more about it casually, tell him how you feel and say I would "appreciate" you helping me with this that and this. It might help him understand better what you need.

Good luck and I think your doing great, I wish you the happiness you desire.

She and I are vegetarian. LOL! Should have mentioned that.

[UnicornDog]

Jul 31, 2013 20:49:38 GMT -5 devonpow said:

in terms of not feeling up to par as a SAHM because you feel frustrated with her, etc. Preach it, sister. I found myself perusing daycare websites today because E has been such a PITA this week that I want to go back to work. Then I remember that I have been out of the workforce for 6.5 years now, plus no job would work due to DHs schedule and travel (plus the fact that I really do love being a SAHM. I just really dislike it some days, KWIM?) 

Yes, I know exactly what you mean! The scheduling issues make it so much trickier.