I am the wedding police

[Deleted]

Honestly, I'm pretty lax but I wouldn't go either.
If you're not responsible/smart enough to get me an invite in a reasonable timely manner:

a) You don't care I'm at your wedding or not apparently.
b) I reserve the right to not show up, not get a gift in a timely manner as well.

I'm by no means the etiquette police at all, but this is borderline obnoxious.

[crispnclean]

Ugh, that is annoying. If I didn't have anything else going on, I'd probably complain but end up going, but I definitely wouldn't change my plans to go.

[Deleted]

Aug 2, 2013 8:54:39 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

Dairy, that's pretty much what I told my H. I love weddings, too. I just don't want to go. He does,though, bc it's his friend. My h wanted o invite, like, 10 more people to our wedding 10 days before and I said no. He and his brother thought I was bing ridiculous. People know when they are b listed and it does make you feel kinda eh.

LOL. We got a B list invite to our milk truck driver's wedding, 3 days before..ha.
People aren't dumb, they totally know about the B list.
I didn't invite a single extra soul after our invites went out either.

Can you just send your H to drink some beer with his friends and you see your friend if he wants to go that bad?

[TBM]

Aug 2, 2013 9:13:13 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

We'll probably both go.

Here's my next question: let's says we don't go, do we have to send a gift? My aunt says yes. I say no. Normally, I'd send a gift, but not under these circumstances.

If you want to send a gift you send one, and if you don't want to, you don't have to.

This is my biggest wedding related pet peeve....that people feel obligated to send a gift because someone sent them (or gave them) an invitation.   If an invitation meant a mandatory gift, people would be sending invitations to everyone that they ever met in their lives, and no one would ever give out their address.lol

[thewop]

Aug 2, 2013 9:40:51 GMT -5 TBM said:

Aug 2, 2013 9:13:13 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

We'll probably both go.

Here's my next question: let's says we don't go, do we have to send a gift? My aunt says yes. I say no. Normally, I'd send a gift, but not under these circumstances.

If you want to send a gift you send one, and if you don't want to, you don't have to.

This is my biggest wedding related pet peeve....that people feel obligated to send a gift because someone sent them (or gave them) an invitation.   If an invitation meant a mandatory gift, people would be sending invitations to everyone that they ever met in their lives, and no one would ever give out their address.lol

I never understood this either. 

[sjh722]

I wouldn't send a gift if you don't go.

We were invited once under similar circumstances. (Like 2 weeks beforehand, and she told me she "didn't have my address"...while she was standing in my living room. Where, you know, my address was 2 steps away by the front door? LOL!) We never got a paper invite AND they asked me to play the piano with 2 weeks notice and didn't pay me for that either. So, I considered my musical talent my gift, haha.

[Deleted]

No, go, no gift, esp. not for someone you're not that close too.

[Deleted]

I'd be kind of annoyed but if the invite was coming from a guy, it doesn't surprise me. Ha.

[sierramist03]

I wouldn't go either and probably wouldn't send a gift either

[adhdfashion]

My family got B listed to wedding recently. It was liberating not to go.

[minniebee]

If you don't attend, I think it's okay to skip the gift. And in this situation, unless I thought the wedding would be a really good time and I was going to know a lot of people attending, I wouldn't bother to go.

[magdala]

My inlaws wanted to pull that stunt too. Four of their friends (two couples) were not able to attend our wedding. After the RSVPs came back, they wanted to invite two other couples. I put my foot down and let them throw a screaming hissy fit. I still said no and DH backed me up. I knew there was a reason or twelve that I loved that man!

[pitterwoo]

Aug 2, 2013 11:27:21 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

Ditzy, my thoughts, exactly...lol.

The guy said that they are paying for it themselves and they were waiting until hearing from their family/close friends before inviting other people. Weird, but whatever. People from our church are having an open house luau that day and my h said he'd rather go to that. Me, too!

Thanks agin, ladies!!

Luau sounds fun!