Is this at all normal?

[VillainV]

Normal? Not sure, but I'm definitely feeling the same things, so I hope it is:-). It's scary and sometimes sad to think of your life changing in almost every way imaginable.

[Velar Fricative]

Normal, and I'm feeling the same way. It hit me like a truck last night at our breastfeeding class when the instructor was saying, "Every book on breastfeeding says you're feeding 8 times in 24 hours...actually, it's more like 10-12 times in 24 hours." Not that that changed my commitment to breastfeed BUT it sure as hell put lack of sleep into perspective.

And then yeah, there are the fears that I will end up raising an asshole. Or that this kid will develop special needs. Or that I'm just not going to enjoy parenthood. But I'm telling myself that all these fears are completely normal and I just need to do the best I can. Also, I vow to avoid the mommy wars as much as possible because that would be an unnecessary cause of stress. We'll see how successful I am with that.

[blindyswife]

TOTALLY normal. I can't tell you how many times before L was born that H and I would look at each other and be like, "what did we do!? Did we fuck up?" lol. And now L is here and we're still just winging it.

Hell, sometimes I wonder what we were thinking by deciding to have a second. What am I going to do with two kids? It's too late to turn back and that is scary! I also still worry about my kids turning into terrible human beings. Or even just horrible teenagers. I am TERRIFIED of teenagers

But yeah, I promise you every expectant mom has the same feelings. And it makes sense. Having a baby really is a crazy thing to do. But you'll be fine. Promise!

*i don't know why its in italics and I can't fix it so OH WELL. 

[countthestars]

Normal!! There are days now (dd is 5 weeks) that I still wonder what we were thinking but parenthood is rewarding and fun and worth it, even when you are sleeping in 2 hour or less stretches at night!!

[Yankees21]

I think it would be weirder if you didn't have at least a moment of freak out. It's a huge, life changing deal!

[trafficgirl]

Normal.

/gavel

[rex]

I'm glad it's normal because I have moments like this too. I keep thinking about why on earth would we do this now, I want more time with just my H, etc. I think it's just reality sinking in, and, you know, hormones.

[cincodemayo]

so normal. I have cried to my H that I think we made the wrong decision. I'm sure I will feel better when he's out but it makes me want to go back to my crazy TTC self and say WAIT!

[natablue]

I think about this all the time. What are we doing? What if I don't like being a mother? I'm happy with the way my life is now, just DH and me and the dog. What if my child has a disability? How do I avoid raising an asshole? What if I snap from the lack of sleep, or let my relationship with DH go downhill?

[daisy24342]

I feel the same way.....I am so ready to be done but at the same time, in 7 weeks, my life will change and I'm freaked/excited/nervous/scared..... It looks like you are in good company around here!

[salemsaberhagen]

It's good to know others feel the same. I am freaking out as well!!! It's a good thing dh is laid back, I worry enough for the both of us.

[halfpint]

Aug 6, 2013 9:43:32 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

It hit me like a truck last night at our breastfeeding class when the instructor was saying, "Every book on breastfeeding says you're feeding 8 times in 24 hours...actually, it's more like 10-12 times in 24 hours." 

I was about to say almost the same thing.  I was also in a breastfeeding class last night, and the instructor was talking about two hours of sleep being the norm on the first night.  I kid you not, I started to cry in the middle of class.

I'm super excited about this kid, and I think we're going to be fine, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't have at least a fleeting thought of, "Ohshit, what have we done..."

I mean, this is pretty permanent.  There's no "takesies-backsies" here.  Also, they're expensive, they don't sleep, eventually they talk back, they cut into your retirement plans...and sometimes, yes, they are assholes.  I could go on and on.

The good news is, I heard a rumor that it's totally worth it.  I just hope they're right

[glauren]

I vote totally normal! I imagine people that don't freak out are woefully unprepared for what they're getting themselves into.

[catsarecute]

My sister has an 8 year old and a 4 year old, both girls, both tend to be very emotional. On a tough parenting day recently, I asked her if I should still consider spending $16K on IVF to create one of these hellions? She said, yes, totally and completely worth every second.

My husband was having a similar freak out last night and I said "people figure this stuff out and raise fantastic kids! We can do this!"

[chicago]

Aug 6, 2013 10:52:15 GMT -5 natablue said:

I think about this all the time. What are we doing? What if I don't like being a mother? I'm happy with the way my life is now, just DH and me and the dog. What if my child has a disability? How do I avoid raising an asshole? What if I snap from the lack of sleep, or let my relationship with DH go downhill?

This is me, 100%.  Plus we were totally content, DINK living in a little apartment and spending wild amounts of money on traveling.  Now all of that money will go to kid and a house - sometimes I worry that we will have no life and be miserable.  

[snickers]

Absolutely normal.
Change is scary, whether you planned for it or not. The long drawn out process of 10 months doesn't help!

[sonrisa]

Aug 6, 2013 10:49:21 GMT -5 ribollita said:

Normal and honestly I felt that way a few months after the birth, too.

I am really looking forward to doing it again though, so there's that.

This is me. Except I'm really not looking forward to the birth and newborn stage. They were really rough last time. This time I'm not freaked out about deciding to have the kid, though. Newborns are hell. But loving your baby is amazing (even if it doesn't kick in right away. Don't worry. It will). And I loved the post newborn phases.

[ashleyp728]

Maybe normal, but I'm definitely feeling the same things, so I hope it is:-). It's scary and crazy to think of how much my life will change, but at the same time, it is exciting too. I feel like I am bi polar about it

[BaliHai]

I'm pregnant with my first, but I think it's normal. I am so excited to be having a girl, but we went to the mall last week and I had a moment or two of sheer panic looking at the teenage girls surrounding us. I'm sure something similar would have happened in a boy scenario at some point.

Then last night I was reading the "why don't you want kids" thread on ML, and the same thing happened. Are we making the right decision? What if we fail her? This world really sucks, should we have done this? What if our marriage falls apart once she's here? What if we don't survive the newborn stage? What if she grows up to be an absolutely awful human being? And so on.

I think doubts always come with life-changing decisions and experiences, but you just do the best you can and hope for the best. A wing and a prayer, basically. lol.

[SallySparrow]

Normal. DH and I had this conversation yesterday:

Me: I have to have a baby.
DH: ....yes?
Me: And then we have to take her home and take care of her.
DH: ....uh-huh?
Me: and we have to like, keep her safe and healthy and make sure she doesn't grow up to be an asshole.
DH: well, that's the general plan, yes.
Me: this was a terrible idea.

*Cue me giving DH all the reasons I will be a terrible mom and him telling me to calm down.* lol

So...yeah. Normal.

[pescalita]

Super late to this, but yes, normal. When I was hugely pregnant with A people would ask me if I was excited and I looked at them like "for what exactly?! Nothing about this is exciting. Actually it's 100% terrifying." I asked my dogs how I would know he loved me since he couldn't wag his tail, and I was pretty terrified I wouldn't like or love him.

This time I'm so looking forward to it I'm a little scared I forgot all the bad parts.

[iheartvino]

Normal. And like others, even now that he's here and I can't imagine life without him, I really miss my life pre pregnancy sometimes. Doesn't mean he was a mistake or he's umloved. But it's a huge transition. I think it would be more abnormal to be 100% confident in your ability to be a parent and never thinking back to when you didn't have heartburn 24/7 if pregnant and didnt have to wake up five times to crying every night if the baby is here.

[KKD]

Normal.

I remember, near the end of my second pregnancy, breaking down in tears, wondering what we were thinking, ruining our perfect little family of three and turning my first daughter's world upside down. It didn't matter how planned or wanted the pregnancy was, or how excited I was to be giving my daughter a sister, I thought we had made a huge mistake. And then she was born and fit perfectly and seamlessly into our lives, as if she had always been there. Not only did we all survive the change, I couldn't wait to do it again.