Toddler frustrations

[monkeybabe]

I took Zoe to the park this morning and it was a trying hour. She's been really good at the park, but she's picking up bad habits from older kids. Yesterday, an older child, maybe 4 or 5, was throwing the wood chips that cover the ground up onto the slide and Zoe thought it was hilarious. She tried to do it twice yesterday, but ultimately was more interested in using the slide. Today, not so much. All she wanted to do was throw wood chips on the slide or onto the jungle gym. Every time, I made her drop the wood chips and told her we don't throw things. Then, these older kids kept running up the slide and she wanted to do that, but at least she gave up on trying that after I consistently made her get off the slide and go back up the jungle gym to the top. There was one girl that was also running down the little kid slides and Zoe wanted to try that, too, which is just dangerous. Eventually, she started trying to eat the wood chips, so we went to eat a snack on a bench and I gave her her water bottle afterwards. She usually hands me her water bottle when she's done with it, but she threw it at me instead, so that ended her park time.

Also, I got side eyed at the park today. When Zoe's on the play structure, I stand close by, but when she's just running around in the grass, I sit down and give her some space to be independent. There's a lip where sidewalk meets grass that Zoe has stepped down from many times. She misjudged the height today and did a little rolling tumble. She didn't cry, so I waited to see how she would handle it. Another mom started rushing over, so I stood up and walked toward Zoe. The mom backed off and gave me a disapproving look. Zoe was fine and, when I helped her to her feet, she immediately rushed off again.

[carawestt]

Lincoln is in copy everything mode too! And the throwing thing has gotten out of hand lately.

That mom can suck it. I hate people like that.

[mrsjaymay]

Ugh, the throwing things is the worst! Edie throws everything at us. Board books are painful!

The mom who side-eyed you was rude. I'm totally the type the sits back and waits for a reaction, too (in the case of a little tumble, etc).

[skiesthelimit]

I can commiserate. X is having a really hard time. The past few days he's been so cranky and throwing a tantrum every few minutes. Last night he got a hold of his toothpaste and managed to unscrew the cap and start sucking toothpaste right out of the tube. I took it away from him and he had the biggest meltdown/tantrum I've ever seen. He's started hitting me and biting my nipples while I nurse him, then he laughs at me and does it again when I say "Ouch!" If he doesn't get his way he throws himself on the floor and screams. He keeps throwing his food. He won't sleep. It's been rough so I feel for ya.

[rubber pants]

WHY do they feel the need to throw? Board books and sippy cups hurt!!

DD is starting to hit. Thats not fun either.

[Deleted]

Yeah we let the boys play by themselves more, too. We kind of hover far back since they're little and the older kids at our playgrounds can be rough, but it works out pretty well for us generally speaking. We don't rush to them if they fall until they react, either.

If you do TO don't be afraid to do it in public!!

[SteelCity44]

I would have reacted the same was as the mom, so if she was me, I'll apologize and explain.

I saw your kid fall and was afraid you didn't notice. Then you came over and I felt like an ass for overreacting, so I glared at you for insinuating I was an ass.

[monkeybabe]

Aug 7, 2013 14:27:22 GMT -5 SteelCity44 said:

I would have reacted the same was as the mom, so if she was me, I'll apologize and explain.

I saw your kid fall and was afraid you didn't notice. Then you came over and I felt like an ass for overreacting, so I glared at you for insinuating I was an ass.

I didn't mind her. She had a child roughly the same age as our's, who she was shadowing. We have different parenting techniques and mine probably gives her heart palpitations. 

[raynes]

Oh the throwing, Owen's got quite an arm.

H hovers a lot more than I do, and keeps helping Owen do things. I yell at him, especially at the park. He can get up the stairs on his own!!

[Deleted]

Oh man... Camden throws everything, including his sippy cups. :-(

I am just like you, too. I leave him if he stumbles because he always gets right back up. If he doesnt then I go over there, but its really awkward when someone else comes running. Then I feel like they think I dont care, but I just dont go run over there everytime when he's fine

[laurack]

We try not to react to Matilda's every fall, we wait to hear how bad it is. She normally seems not at all bothered just brushes herself off and keeps on running.

I prefer for her to realize she is fine, and people don't rush over every time she has a minor boo boo. When she's hurt herself it's obvious so then we comfort.

My MIL seems slightly horrified by this and I can see how to an outsider it might look weird/like you weren't paying attention even though it is actually a calculated non- reaction

[laurack]

It reminds me of trying to not react when she'd start gagging on food doing baby led weaning. It might look like I hadn't noticed she was gagging when really I was doing everything I could keep my face impassive and not freak out! Lol

[rjamz]

Aug 7, 2013 16:04:38 GMT -5 laurack said:

We try not to react to Matilda's every fall, we wait to hear how bad it is. She normally seems not at all bothered just brushes herself off and keeps on running.

I prefer for her to realize she is fine, and people don't rush over every time she has a minor boo boo. When she's hurt herself it's obvious so then we comfort.

My MIL seems slightly horrified by this and I can see how to an outsider it might look weird/like you weren't paying attention even though it is actually a calculated non- reaction

All of this. I always pause before going over. Most of the time he's fine. I've had to train my mom and MIL to try to do the same

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[creamsiclechica]

Aug 7, 2013 16:04:38 GMT -5 laurack said:

We try not to react to Matilda's every fall, we wait to hear how bad it is. She normally seems not at all bothered just brushes herself off and keeps on running.

I prefer for her to realize she is fine, and people don't rush over every time she has a minor boo boo. When she's hurt herself it's obvious so then we comfort.

My MIL seems slightly horrified by this and I can see how to an outsider it might look weird/like you weren't paying attention even though it is actually a calculated non- reaction

We do exactly this too. She rarely cries or fusses, so I don't want to fawn over nothing when she's fine!

[cat19]

My parks are so busy I feel like I have to follow her around still. Linz has total freedom, but Lily gets me following her about 10-15 feet away. She falls and I don't walk any faster unless it looks like she was hurt though. There's only one park I allow her to be totally free and that one is small and fenced in.

[fusion]

When Jameson was roughly 18 months old and FULLY capable of traversing the playground we were at I actually had a woman that came up and berated me for not being all up in his business.

[Deleted]

Eh, I wouldn't worry too much about the bark on the slide/bark eating/throwing. I think it's a phase all kids go through and I was resistant to it when DS1 learned it from other kids at the park. If it's not hurting anyone, whatever. She'll pick it up eventually just being around other kids, and she'll get over it when it gets boring. I'm pretty sure she won't choke on a bark chip at this age. As a FTM I was super stressed about all the bad habits DS1 was picking up from other kids but when they get a bit older you realise it's NBD.

And good for you for letting her explore and not be a helicopter parent. It's good for her. That's what I do too. Often they will fall down and if no one's looking they won't even cry. Both of mine are like that, all in for the dramatic effect

[juliamastro]

Other people's kids are brats. lol. 


I took Cam to to Jump-mania the other day, one of those places with all the bounce-house things, and it sounds like we had a similar experience. There was even a mega-bitch mom there too. 
He had a blast, but it was very frustrating for me. 

It's hard to teach your kids to appropriately play with other kids!

[robinsparkles430]

I can't stand the throwing. I have a bruise on my forehead from a book. I'm like you when J falls. I wait to see how reacts before I do. I remember falling down the stairs when I was younger and as soon as I saw my mom flipping out, I did too. Jason fell off the side of the couch the other night and I busted out laughing be ause his little feet were flailing in the air. He was fine and jumped right back up to go play

[devotchka]

Aug 7, 2013 13:27:21 GMT -5 monkeybabe said:

I took Zoe to the park this morning and it was a trying hour. She's been really good at the park, but she's picking up bad habits from older kids. Yesterday, an older child, maybe 4 or 5, was throwing the wood chips that cover the ground up onto the slide and Zoe thought it was hilarious. She tried to do it twice yesterday, but ultimately was more interested in using the slide. Today, not so much. All she wanted to do was throw wood chips on the slide or onto the jungle gym. Every time, I made her drop the wood chips and told her we don't throw things. Then, these older kids kept running up the slide and she wanted to do that, but at least she gave up on trying that after I consistently made her get off the slide and go back up the jungle gym to the top. There was one girl that was also running down the little kid slides and Zoe wanted to try that, too, which is just dangerous. Eventually, she started trying to eat the wood chips, so we went to eat a snack on a bench and I gave her her water bottle afterwards. She usually hands me her water bottle when she's done with it, but she threw it at me instead, so that ended her park time.

Also, I got side eyed at the park today. When Zoe's on the play structure, I stand close by, but when she's just running around in the grass, I sit down and give her some space to be independent. There's a lip where sidewalk meets grass that Zoe has stepped down from many times. She misjudged the height today and did a little rolling tumble. She didn't cry, so I waited to see how she would handle it. Another mom started rushing over, so I stood up and walked toward Zoe. The mom backed off and gave me a disapproving look. Zoe was fine and, when I helped her to her feet, she immediately rushed off again.

Oh dear. Other Moms at the playground annoy me so much sometimes w/ this shit. I give Max space too and try not to rush over or say anything if he seems ok. Mind your own beeswax, lady! If the kid was screaming and no one was helping her it would be one thing... 

It seems so hard to change these behaviors right now, especially when they think it's funny. Not sure if it will ever be easy, really, but at least Max is starting to really communicate better and understand more and understand when it's ok to do things and when it's not.

[Deleted]

Aug 7, 2013 14:38:29 GMT -5 monkeybabe said:

Aug 7, 2013 14:27:22 GMT -5 SteelCity44 said:

I would have reacted the same was as the mom, so if she was me, I'll apologize and explain.

I saw your kid fall and was afraid you didn't notice. Then you came over and I felt like an ass for overreacting, so I glared at you for insinuating I was an ass.

I didn't mind her. She had a child roughly the same age as our's, who she was shadowing. We have different parenting techniques and mine probably gives her heart palpitations. 

Hahaha. I am that other Mom. I have palpitations every time I see a kid or a toddler. I try to give E independence but I am always close by ready to fling my arms out.

[formerlyllizzyb]

I'm really struggling with teaching Graham polite play manners and how to interact with others. It's hard!

[monkeybabe]

Sometimes, I really hate other people's children. Zoe loves the park so much, but today made me pretty ragey.

A 2.5-3 year old, I would guess, intentionally stomped on her hands while she was sitting, all the way to one side, on a step on the jungle gym. He ran up the ramp, up the step, stopped next to her and started kicking and stomping her hands. She was just sitting there, didn't move, wasn't in his way. I asked him to not step on her twice and he ran away. His mom was in the bathroom, and by the time she came out, I didn't see the point in making a stink, because I don't know if he would get it at that point. Toddlers are kind of like dogs, right? You need to deal with it when it happens or they're just confused? Luckily, Zoe was unfazed.

Then, Zoe was climbing up that same step to get to the slide and an older kid, maybe 8, ran up between the 3 babies that were climbing up and kneed Zoe in the back of the head trying to get passed her. That actually bothered Zoe and she gave me this look like, "Wtf just happened?" She then went to use the slide, and I made her wait to go down, because another kid hadn't quite gotten off it. When she goes down the slide, she treats it like furniture: feet first, belly down, then she bellies off the end. Well, she went down and was in the process of bellying off when a little boy rockets down the slide without waiting and kicks her in the face. We left at that point.

At least there was a cute 2.5 year old girl that wanted to be Zoe's bestie when we first got there. They repeatedly went down the slide together and it was adorable.

[carawestt]

Aw poor Zoe! That sounds like a rough day at the park. I really dislike kids like that!