Post by stopmakingsense on Jun 18, 2012 15:48:17 GMT -5
Hi, I'm SMS and Lucy (3) and Jack(1) are my kids. I've been around for awhile TB and I never thought I would end up here.
H left us 2 days ago after telling me he never loved me and didn't want a wife anymore. We've been together 5 years, a few fights here and there but nothing major. I feel like he's going through some mental issues right now along with a not so midlife crisis that is making him feel like he needs to relive his early 20's. He's not willing to work things out or go to therapy. I'm still in shock but I know I need to take control of the situation.
I have no idea where to start or how to get past this point. I honestly was blindsided by all of this so I haven't ever even looked into child support or divorce laws. Any advice would be appreciated.
The last think which I'm hoping someone else here has dealt with, my daughter is Autistic and requires a lot of therapy ($$$) and extra help. How do I make sure I can continue with the things she needs and just deal with being the single parent of a SN child?
Hi there. I just joined too, so I dont have much wisdom yet, but I wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat with two kids, one of whom has mild special needs. while I dont have any personal advice on that, its good to know theres someone else here who will know what its like going through all this.
Post by stopmakingsense on Jun 18, 2012 16:12:56 GMT -5
Thanks, I'm a little overwhelmed with the prospect of taking care of two kids by myself. Thinking about getting them out of the house and into daycare seems pretty insurmountable by myself.
Welcome!! Take one day at a time, hell take it minute by minute if you have to. I also agree with getting a good family lawyer to help you navigate this. Counseling will also help you cop with all the changes you're facing.
Also, as far as single parenting goes, do what you have to and the rest can wait! There were days (when they were little) that the best I could do was feed them and get them cleaned....the house was a mess, the laundry wasn't done and you know what, it was okay!
ETA: Mornings are always crazy, so do as much as you can the night before so it makes your morning less insane!
Post by usedtobebear on Jun 18, 2012 16:56:38 GMT -5
Hi SMS, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I am new to this board as well, so I don't have a lot of experience but wanted to say welcome and I'm sad to hear your story. I think my DH has some mental issues as well so I can relate to that part. I'm sorry you feel blindsighted by your DH leaving you, I can't imagine how hard with two little one's and one with special needs. My only suggestions would be to find a counselor and consult with a lawyer asap. Hang in there hun!!
Post by compassrose on Jun 18, 2012 17:00:38 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you are joining this club. I don't have kids, so I don't have any advice there, but get a good lawyer, a good therapist, and call on your support network. This is the time you need good friends and family. And for any extra support you need, this is a great group.
Post by explorer2001 on Jun 18, 2012 17:19:37 GMT -5
Welcome. Get a lawyer and a counselor for yourself. These ladies and gentleman are a great support. Reach out to organizations in your area for special needs kids. There are a bunch where I live that will help you navigate.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. This board is absolutely amazing though. Definitely find a counselor ASAP. I'm so glad I did it immediately, I think it has helped me immensely. And good for you for contacting a lawyer already. It will be really, really hard but if he can turn his back on you and your kids like that, then know that this will eventually be a blessing in disguise.