Facebook WTMF - Update in a new thread

[montereybride]

So, a few days ago, H's sister put on her Facebook the following "Being part of a family is a privilege not a right and that privilege can be revoked"


Tonight, I noticed that she not only unfriended me, she also blocked me. She and I have always been close. Like, we chat. And message each other. His older sister and his older sister's daughter also unfriended me AND blocked me.

I am soooo WTMF right now that I can't even see straight.

I told H and said "Hey, will you call her and ask her what's up, please."

H got super fucking defensive and all "This is between you and her, you call her, not my problem."


Ok, sure. But here's the thing .. If one of my siblings unfriended H, I would call and say "Hey, did you unfriend H on Facebook? What's up? We're a package deal, yo, and I kinda take it really personal that you unfriended him. Take him off your newsfeed if he's annoying but dude, you don't unfriend your sibling's spouse."


Ok, that probably makes me sound crazy. But whatever. I don't care. We have three nieces. Two of whom I text with and FaceTime with regularly.

So, again, WTMF.

Tell me I'm nuts, tell me to be a fucking grown up and call her myself, whatever. I'm kinda really hurt right now.

[oliviapope]

I would definitely have my SO ask his brother/sister-in-law what was up if they unfriended me, but we're not close at all, I would ask myself if we were though.

[Deleted]

Did anything in particular happen that might have led to this?

[Deleted]

I guess I'm in the minority here but I think your H is right - it's your responsibility to contact her not his. I think that she's being childish by not confronting you with whatever is bothering her but I wouldn't ask my H to go do the digging for me.

[anodyne]

Aug 8, 2013 23:28:28 GMT -5 montereybride said:

 H got super fucking defensive and all "This is between you and her, you call her, not my problem."
.

This makes me think he knows what the issue is.

[montereybride]

Aug 8, 2013 23:35:09 GMT -5 anodyne said:

Aug 8, 2013 23:28:28 GMT -5 montereybride said:

 H got super fucking defensive and all "This is between you and her, you call her, not my problem."
.

This makes me think he knows what the issue is.

Yeah. This is where I'm at.

[Deleted]

That is strange. Did something happen between you all? Did your H say why he didn't want to call them?

[angelaa73]

Can I get a backstory?

[polka]

When is the last time you talked to her? Did they block your H too?

[anodyne]

So do you think he also has issue with whatever it is, or does he not what to get tangled up in drama? If it the second, I would call myself. If he has an issue with it also, then you and DH need to talk.

[montereybride]

Aug 8, 2013 23:36:47 GMT -5 angelaa73 said:

Can I get a backstory?

That's just it.

There's no freaking backstory. At all.

I'm so goddamn confused you guys.

[Deleted]

Hmm, you don't have any idea why? That seems like a pretty extreme reaction out of the blue.

Also, your H's answer kinda makes me think he knows.

[montereybride]

Aug 8, 2013 23:37:03 GMT -5 polka said:

When is the last time you talked to her? Did they block your H too?

He went to visit her a couple weeks ago and I talked to her on the phone while he was there. Everything was fine, we were laughing, joking about stuff.

[Deleted]

Unfriending and blocking is pretty hostile.

[anodyne]

Aug 8, 2013 23:40:04 GMT -5 montereybride said:

Aug 8, 2013 23:37:03 GMT -5 polka said:

When is the last time you talked to her? Did they block your H too?

He went to visit her a couple weeks ago and I talked to her on the phone while he was there. Everything was fine, we were laughing, joking about stuff.

Ah ha!  Something came up in conversation at the visit that she didn't like and without clearing the story with you, she unfriends you?

[montereybride]

Aug 8, 2013 23:41:09 GMT -5 @cinnamonstick said:

Unfriending and blocking is pretty hostile.

Right???!

Especially after that post. The post was on Tuesday.

And no, they have not blocked H.

[awick14]

Aug 8, 2013 23:40:31 GMT -5 11d said:

Stop stewing and call them. You don't need your DH to call, you call.

This!

[Deleted]

Speaking from painful experience, it would be better for you to talk directly to her. Whatever is going on having a middleman can only make things worse

[Deleted]

Did you have a disagreement? Why was your H defensive? Why can't you call or text her? Why is such a big deal over her unfriending you on FB?

ETA: I took too long to post this. She's weird and owes you an explanation.

[Deleted]

I mean I've unfriended people just because sometimes fb gets out of hand. The blocking part seems over the top, KWIM?

[lime]

I'm assuming SIL is super sensitive and was possibly offended by something small you said?

[Deleted]

I feel like these things happen to you a lot.

You should call if your H isn't going to.

[montereybride]

Aug 8, 2013 23:44:49 GMT -5 lime said:

I'm assuming SIL is super sensitive and was possibly offended by something small you said?

Ok, honestly, I'm about as liberal as liberal gets.

That could explain ONE family member unfriending/blocking me.

But

- the comment
- the other sister
- the niece

What the fuck.

And I haven't posted anything out of my norm.

[UMaineTeach]

blocking seems really over-reactionary, especially if you have no idea what you did. sorry, you have to call if you want to know.

and I might press YH more before you call.

[montereybride]

Aug 8, 2013 23:53:51 GMT -5 11d said:

Are you going to call? And then update us?

It's too late to call tonight but I will definitely be calling and I will update.

[lime]

I didn't even mean that you'd said something that was socially or politically offensive.

What I meant was that if she made a vodka margarita and you took a sip and said, "I was expecting tequila" and now she thinks you've trashed her cooking and hosting abilities to the family - that sort of overreaction and sensitivity.

[polka]

Did you comment on that family status with something she may not have liked, then maybe she blocked you after it?

[montereybride]

Aug 9, 2013 0:03:49 GMT -5 polka said:

Did you comment on that family status with something she may not have liked, then maybe she blocked you after it?

Nope, didn't comment on it. I thought it might be about her H's family because they're kinda nuts, lol.

Clearly that was not the case.

[montereybride]

Aug 9, 2013 0:19:29 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Dude, I (heart) you but this is a perfect example of a post that I can't figure out, lol. Definitely call her asap. 

Lol, I can't figure it out either. There is ZERO backstory and it came out of nowhere. Seriously.

I can think of no conceivable reason why she would unfriend and block. Or why the other two would either.

I cannot even begin to explain how confused I am. And I'm really aggravated by H's "not my problem" stance. I would be up my sister's ass if she did the same to H. But then, I see it as a hostile thing and H just doesn't really get why it matters.

[snickers]

That's really weird. Is she usually a defensive person that takes offense to small things? I hope you can figure it out