I need to vent, get advice, hair pets, whatever.

[RoxMonster]

I will most likely DD this. And it's long. Sorry.

*poof*

Thank you, seriously, for all the advice and tough love.

[RoxMonster]

Aug 12, 2013 23:24:34 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Don't have children. Lol.

I'm sorry. That sucks. And your mom is out of line.

LOL We're not (not because of this; we had already planned on being child-free).

[blueshirt2003]

I think you know that you're good pet owners. Ignore your mom, she is being annoying on purpose most likely. Getting under your skin.

Also, she contradicts herself. She says a dog should just be a dog and not know commands yet wants you to give it vitamin D and ensure it plays outside. She can't have it both ways. Either your dog is well taken care of (sounds like she is) or you toss her outside and let her be a dog. Is this new behavior for your mom? Has she picked at other areas of your life?

Do you think she loves Roxie so much she sees her as her "own" and therefor wants to tell you how to handle her?

[RoxMonster]

Aug 12, 2013 23:29:48 GMT -5 blueshirt2003 said:

I think you know that you're good pet owners. Ignore your mom, she is being annoying on purpose most likely. Getting under your skin.

Also, she contradicts herself. She says a dog should just be a dog and not know commands yet wants you to give it vitamin D and ensure it plays outside. She can't have it both ways. Either your dog is well taken care of (sounds like she is) or you toss her outside and let her be a dog. Is this new behavior for your mom? Has she picked at other areas of your life?

Do you think she loves Roxie so much she sees her as her "own" and therefor wants to tell you how to handle her?

As far as new behavior, she has always been pretty vocal about her opinion of things. But it's never really been an issue until now. If that makes sense. I feel like with a lot of other areas, it wasn't as big of a deal and I could kind of "mm-hmm" my way through a conversation and then just do what I wanted afterwards.

As to your last question, I can see that. I think she would love for Rox to be hers.

[RoxMonster]

Aug 12, 2013 23:45:44 GMT -5 Que? said:

Aug 12, 2013 23:26:07 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

LOL We're not (not because of this; we had already planned on being child-free).

How does your Mom feel about this? She might be working some shit out with your dog. Distance yourself.

I'm not really sure. One time it came up in conversation off-handedly and she made a comment it was "selfish" to not want kids. But then other times, she tells me "I shouldn't have children" (because I don't like cooking, am squeamish about puke, etc.) I honestly never really bring up kids around her.

[RoxMonster]

Thanks for the reassurance and advice.

I think why it bothers me so much is that I feel like it's ruining our relationship and we've always had such a good one. But I have talked to her three times since last Thurs. and it always comes back to this topic and it's wearing on me. And I do stand up for us and defend our choices when it comes up. But then we never get anywhere because she is convinced she is right.

I just would hate to lose a good relationship with my mom, but I also realize she is the one being crazy right now. It just sucks.

[sparkythelawyer]

You get that your mom wants your dog, right? She wants you to take your dog there and leave her.

Tell your mom to STFU and get her own dog.

[sparkythelawyer]

And what's this "defending" yourself bullshit? This is your dog. YOURS. You owe no defenses. "Sorry you feel that way, Mom, but this is not up for discussion." If she keeps at it? You hang up. Enough.

[angelaa73]

Aug 12, 2013 23:45:44 GMT -5 Que? said:

Aug 12, 2013 23:26:07 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

LOL We're not (not because of this; we had already planned on being child-free).

How does your Mom feel about this? She might be working some shit out with your dog. Distance yourself.

Preach!

[VillainV]

You are a great doggie mommy. I agree that your mom is just being critical, and you need to shut her down like nicbreeful said. Tell her you will hang up the phone, or leave the room, or whatever, then do it.

[angelaa73]

Aaand this would be a perfect time to haul your ma to the pound. GET YOUR OWN GD DOG MA,

[angelaa73]

Hahaha dog ma
Dogma
That's awesome

[snickers]

I'm sorry
Your mom is out of line

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

STOP TALKING TO HER ABOUT THE DOG

[TheSeaward]

Aug 12, 2013 23:44:19 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

"Mother, if you keep criticizing me about Roxie, I'm going to have to hang up the phone." Then as soon as she starts in about it, say "Goodbye, mother. We'll talk when you no longer feel like criticizing me." and then hang up.

Rinse and repeat.

this exactly.  you do realize this is not about the dog right?

[TheSeaward]

Aug 12, 2013 23:55:58 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

Aug 12, 2013 23:45:44 GMT -5 Que? said:

How does your Mom feel about this? She might be working some shit out with your dog. Distance yourself.

I'm not really sure. One time it came up in conversation off-handedly and she made a comment it was "selfish" to not want kids. But then other times, she tells me "I shouldn't have children" (because I don't like cooking, am squeamish about puke, etc.) I honestly never really bring up kids around her.

so your mother has a history of criticizing you on other topics besides the dog.  it is NOT about the dog

[Deleted]

Omg. Why doesn't she have her own damn dog?

[wrathofkuus]

You say that she's one of your best friends, but I don't buy it, not with this power imbalance. Would you still be talking to any of your other friends daily if you had these exact same conversations with them?

[CurlyQ284]

I would stop talking to her about Roxie. If she asks about her just say "she's fine" and change the subject. Avoid avoid avoid. If she presses it, say that you don't want to talk about Roxie since she's so critical.

[Deleted]

Stop talking to her about the dog. Find someone else to dogsit when you go away.

[RoxMonster]

Thanks for all the input and tough love. I know it makes sense to get someone else to watch Roxie; it's just difficult because Roxie throws an absolute shit fit when anyone comes in the house, and there is a whole routine we have to go through to get her used to someone being in the house, much less being alone with her while we are not there. If I can find a well-recommended local person who would be willing to go through that process with us, then I could. It was just easy because Roxie knows and likes them so well.