Ugh I'm sorry. That must be so hard. I guess you can only hope that she gets more resolved each time she leaves and maybe the next time it will be for good. Small consolation in the meantime, I know, especially with kids in the picture. :/ *hugs*
this makes me so sad , as to i can relate to being there like your friend. I finally pulled the triggeer, left, divorced and have been staying away from the manipulation of my XH. Drug addicts are very manipulative and I cant imagine with the kids how difficult it must be for her........unfortunatley there is not much you can do until she decides to finally end it. Encourage her to get therapy or go to support groups, that may give her the strength/courage to finally follow through
You are a great friend for being understanding and caring. My one friend did the same thing to me, she almost left her H, then got back with him and has since stopped all contact with me. It makes me sad, but its out of my control
Post by wildfloweragain on Aug 17, 2013 11:17:49 GMT -5
I'm sorry. My sister is gong through something similar, although not involving abuse, but she ends up harming herself, continuing her cycle, going back to him... I have realized I can not do this for her.
It's hard for me to see this happening. We have offered her places to stay, paid for her flight, helped take care of her girls, did not post pictures or anything related to her on FB or whatever so the guy wouldn't find her, helped her get back on her feet. And then she disappears without notice. One day we drove by her apartment and found all of her stuff outside and she was gone, we had no idea this was coming. We have been doing this for YEARS. I just feel so drained, poor girl and her poor family.
I'm just praying the guy isn't hurting her girls too.
If there's DV in the home, it is much more likely that there is child abuse happening or that it will happen. It goes without saying, but if you or your friends pickup on any signs of abuse, don't hesitate to call your state's CPS hotline. Even if he's not abusing the girl's, witnessing DV was like, the number one cause of behavioral problems in the kids I was working with this year.
I will say though, that you sound like an amazing and empathetic friend. Most of the DV cases I've worked with, the victim's friends bail once she keeps going back to the abuser.
Post by pixelpassion on Aug 17, 2013 13:02:59 GMT -5
You would call the state she is in, since its that state's investigators that would have to come to wherever they live, etc. Each state's website/hotline is easy to find via internet.