Should I make her go?

[panicked]

My daughter is nearly 3. We signed her up for a four week ballet/tap class. The first week she left about 20 minutes in screaming and crying for no reason (I was watching through the glass, nothing set her off). Last week, she wouldn't even let go of my hand, so I did the class with her. She has two weeks left and the classes are only 30 minutes. I'm wondering whether I should just cut my losses and let her quit or encourage her to stick it out for the remaining two classes. My parents let me quit whatever I didn't like or feel like going to and I resent that now. She loves the instructor, loves her leotard/shoes, loves the studio, but hates the class. She's also in gymnastics in the same place and loves it, so I know it's not separation anxiety. What do you think?

[ElizabethBennet]

Is she able to express why she doesn't want to stay?

[ginger]

She's not ready for dance or really doesn't enjoy it. I'd let her quit.

[katandkevin]

I would make her go. If she doesn't want to participate she can sit quietly in the back of the room. For me, it is important to teach my kids that we follow through on commitments we make. I am also trying to teach them about not wasting money.

[Booze Raccoon]

I would try to engage her in conversation about why she doesn't like it. I would also ask her if she is willing to go again.

*Disclaimer, my H thinks I do too much asking and not enough telling so take that for what it's worth.

[ginger]

When she's much older you can work on the sticking to our commitments thing, but for now, she really isn't enjoying dance at all.

She's not even old enough to know what she thinks she will and will not like before hand.

[chickadee77]

I used to teach children's movement classes, which are like a precursor to ballet. We wouldn't allow anyone younger than three (or, if they would be turning three during the term). They were 45 minutes long, and we had a fairly strict studio policy of no observation - that may have also been to keep the creepers out, too, though. I had several kids that would scream for the first part of the class for the first couple sessions, but eventually settle once they realized mom or dad weren't about to swoop in. They usually ended up loving it, especially when they saw how much fun we were having.

I'm not saying that's what you're doing, because it sounds like your studio is set up better for observation than ours was. I guess I can see both benefits, here - I just wanted to share my experience from the teaching side.

Oh, also, my mom tried to get me to do tap as a little one, but I haaaaaated it - it was so loud! Maybe there's just an aspect to her class that is bothersome to her.

[VillainV]

*Not a parent yet*

I would try to take her again and see how she does. If she starts crying and screaming again, then you can leave early, but I think there's a good chance that she'll enjoy it.

[snickers]

There would not be much point in making her go and stick it out. She's too young to start teaching her about following through with her commitments. Why make her and yourself miserable for 20-30 minutes if you don't have to?

[ECB]

Aug 17, 2013 9:13:14 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

She's 2. If she were four or five, I'd say make her stay .Here, no. She's not ready, she's not liked it, this is a total of a two hour commitment and halfway through she hates it, has acquired no skills and is not likely to at this time. Don't ruin the next two Saturdays.

This.  When DS was 2, it was hit or miss what he would like and enjoy. I don't see the point in forcing at that age.  When she gets older and has more of a say in waht she likes and doesn't like, and if SHE wants certain lessons- absolutley, I'd be more in the camp of "she has to go".  But not at 2.

[eb777888]

Aug 17, 2013 9:13:14 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

She's 2. If she were four or five, I'd say make her stay .Here, no. She's not ready, she's not liked it, this is a total of a two hour commitment and halfway through she hates it, has acquired no skills and is not likely to at this time. Don't ruin the next two Saturdays.

Totally what I was going to say. I'm all for making them see through a commitment, but not at 2. David wasn't ready for soccer until four and even then it had it's challenges.

[eb777888]

Aug 17, 2013 9:11:00 GMT -5 katandkevin said:

I would make her go. If she doesn't want to participate she can sit quietly in the back of the room. For me, it is important to teach my kids that we follow through on commitments we make. I am also trying to teach them about not wasting money.

But at 2? I think that's way premature and asking a lot of a 2 y.o.

[bab]

I wouldn't go. Not worth the aggrivation.

[panicked]

So we stayed home. We are going to try next week (final). Thanks all!

[auntie]

She's two.

I'm guessing this was more your idea than hers, so I'd cut my losses. Were she five and requested the activity, I would say to make her complete the commitment.

[goaskalice]

Aug 17, 2013 9:06:34 GMT -5 panicked said:

My daughter is nearly 3. We signed her up for a four week ballet/tap class. The first week she left about 20 minutes in screaming and crying for no reason (I was watching through the glass, nothing set her off.)

This is my exact story when I was 3. My mom didn't force me to go back. I ended up going back to dance at 10 and then got a scholarship to college for it, so in my experience her quitting at this age won't make her a quitter for life

[milosh]

Even though it didn't work out this time and at this age. I hope she gets the chance to try dance when she's a bit older and more ready for it. Dance can be so much fun for little girls.

[adhdfashion]

I would make her go. But I am a hard ass.

[Deleted]

I'd quit. She isn't old enough to understand a lesson about sticking to our commitments. And, really...I'm guessing that you chose to put her in dance. If she had wanted to do it, I might be more tempted to make her see it through, but if it was your choice to put her in, definitely time to quit.

[karmasabiotch]

She's too little to force her to do so something that's supposed to be fun for her. Don't make her go.

[MixedBerryJam]

Honestly, I'd let her quit at this age. She's not developmentally ready yet to get the "live up to your commitments" so if you take that angle it's only going to take years off your life. If she likes the teacher and the leotard, maybe try one more class where she goes but can sit in a corner quietly if she wants to, but I wouldn't force her to participate.

Whatever you do, you have to make it fun for her so that when she's ready she'll want to try again. I really regret doing all those t-ball and soccer and kickball leagues when my boys were 2 and 3 and 4 and hated it. I made them do it and to this day they hate team sports. I can't tell you how many times I sat under the bleachers and cried, myself!

[katandkevin]

Aug 17, 2013 10:30:48 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Aug 17, 2013 9:11:00 GMT -5 katandkevin said:

I would make her go. If she doesn't want to participate she can sit quietly in the back of the room. For me, it is important to teach my kids that we follow through on commitments we make. I am also trying to teach them about not wasting money.

But at 2? I think that's way premature and asking a lot of a 2 y.o.

I missed the word nearly. I thought she was 3, not 2. At 2, I wouldn't make her go back.

[sonrisa]

Did she enjoy it when you joined her? How did the teacher feel about your presence? This isn't about setting a lifelong precedent. At this age she doesn't understand that there should be two more classes. Go if you think it can work for everyone involved. Otherwise cut your losses.

(All the story times, ballet, tap, gymnastics, and soccer classes around here for that age require an adult to be there with the kid. I'm surprised they don't.)