Post by Velar Fricative on Aug 18, 2013 8:05:14 GMT -5
We have one. She has been great so far - we got her for an amazing deal by sheer coincidence (she was otherwise wayyyyyyyyy beyond our budget). She's attended over a thousand births and owns a doula training company so I'm confident that she will be a huge support for both me and H at the birth.
The key is finding someone who agrees with your own values. While my goal is a drug-free birth, I didn't want to have a doula who would shame me if I decided or had to receive medications. Some doulas are very anti-drugs but ours realizes (like I do) that there are legitimate needs for them.
Having said that, if your H is up to the task of being your coach, a doula is certainly not a requirement. H would have been a great support for me but even he admitted that he's afraid of the unknown and is happy to work with our doula.
I've thought about it, but I'd want a recommendation or know someone who does it. I am pretty sure the woman who married me and DH does it, but Idk if I'd want her as my doula. The hospital I will deliver in has good nurses, so I am not too concerned either way. I think if I was committed to a natural birth, I'd definitely want one.
Post by Cricket0619 on Aug 18, 2013 8:39:48 GMT -5
I had a lady that is in training to become a doula tell me that she could do it for me for free. She needs to have 3 births before she gets certified. I feel like you can't really go too wrong helping out during the birth and maybe I should try her?
I had a lady that is in training to become a doula tell me that she could do it for me for free. She needs to have 3 births before she gets certified. I feel like you can't really go too wrong helping out during the birth and maybe I should try her?
I had a lady that is in training to become a doula tell me that she could do it for me for free. She needs to have 3 births before she gets certified. I feel like you can't really go too wrong helping out during the birth and maybe I should try her?
I'd accept this offer in a heartbeat unless she's not the right fit for you in terms of what your birth plan is (even if the plan is no birth plan!).
I had a lady that is in training to become a doula tell me that she could do it for me for free. She needs to have 3 births before she gets certified. I feel like you can't really go too wrong helping out during the birth and maybe I should try her?
I'd accept this offer in a heartbeat unless she's not the right fit for you in terms of what your birth plan is (even if the plan is no birth plan!).
I kind of feel like maybe since we will be one of her first she will maybe be pretty open with our plans or no plans? We can always kick her out right?
I had a lady that is in training to become a doula tell me that she could do it for me for free. She needs to have 3 births before she gets certified. I feel like you can't really go too wrong helping out during the birth and maybe I should try her?
I would accept that offer. If DH is on board it seems like a good opportunity.
I wanted one for the first pregnancy but decided against since I did not want to go natural. Plus dh did not really see the point. I think doulas are wonderful support.
I had a lady that is in training to become a doula tell me that she could do it for me for free. She needs to have 3 births before she gets certified. I feel like you can't really go too wrong helping out during the birth and maybe I should try her?
I would accept that offer. If DH is on board it seems like a good opportunity.
I wanted one for the first pregnancy but decided against since I did not want to go natural. Plus dh did not really see the point. I think doulas are wonderful support.
I don't think I want natural. Maybe I need to google exactly what doulas do because if they try to talk me out of drugs when I really want them I will be pissed! lol
No I'm sorry if I implied that. I don't think they are exclusively proponents of natural, I just felt like if I was going natural I would need all the support in the world. Knowing I was going to do an epidural I felt like dh would be supportive enough. He was and I labored at home for long enough that when I got to the hospital I was at 4cm and only had a little bit before I got the epi. I also had a great nurse. So my first experience was really pretty easy and I doubt a doula would have made it better. I hope this one is likewise and I am not regretting getting a support person.
I would accept that offer. If DH is on board it seems like a good opportunity.
I wanted one for the first pregnancy but decided against since I did not want to go natural. Plus dh did not really see the point. I think doulas are wonderful support.
I don't think I want natural. Maybe I need to google exactly what doulas do because if they try to talk me out of drugs when I really want them I will be pissed! lol
It is my understanding that most doulas encourage women to go med-free, and they help you advocate for this when you are in the heat of the moment.
I am not sure a doula would be super helpful for you if you plan to get an epidural as soon as you can.
We're seriously considering it. I'm delivering at one of the best hospitals around here and everyone says it's the best place to have a baby, so I feel okay with not. We took a childbirth class with a doula though, and we really liked all of her tips and tricks for being more comfortable and making sure that you are doing what's best for the baby and for mom. DH is kind of a spaz under pressure as well, so he is set on getting one. An experienced doula in this area is about $1000, so it's not cheap, but we could swing it and I feel like it is probably worth it.
I would love to have one and once we get back to Michigan next month, I'm going to start looking for one. If they're certifying through DONA, I'd have no problem with having a doula-in-training either.
I think doulas are a great idea and even considered becoming one after my first labour, but for me, I would not like one. DH was awesome support and did everything I asked. We were alone with one midwife, and I really liked that. Also, my labour only lasted 3 hours 7 minutes. It was quick. If I had a longer labour then I think maybe I would consider one to give DH a break. Now where did I eave that crystal ball so that I would know how long my next labour would last?
I had a lady that is in training to become a doula tell me that she could do it for me for free. She needs to have 3 births before she gets certified. I feel like you can't really go too wrong helping out during the birth and maybe I should try her?
My SIL is a doula and has offered us her services. She's very open to whatever needs/wishes the mom has - as long as the mother and baby are safe and healthy, that's the most important thing.
My best friends used her for the birth of her fourth child two months ago. She had never used a doula before and said it made all the difference in the world. My SIL came over to her home and she labored at home for as long as she could before it was necessary to go to the hospital, and was with her through the birth. My friend ended up going drug free, which is what she wanted, but did get a little panicky about it - she said my SIL helped keep her calm and her birth was very smooth.
I don't know if most doulas are, but my SIL is also a licensed massage therapist, and uses massage and counterpressure to help provide relief during labor. She also preforms prenatal massage.
I love mine. H agreed to it because I wanted it, but now is super glad we did it. She allows him to focus on the moment rather than focus on trying to coach me through something he doesn't have any experience with, either. She's already helped us just feel more confident navigating through all the information out there, crafting a birth plan, etc. It's nice to have her there to call or text with questions, and I'm glad she'll be there as an advocate and helping hand during the birth.
If I were worried about cost, I wouldn't hesitate to hire one in training - most of them at that point have gone through most of the steps, but maybe haven't completed all of their births for DONA certification. We actually have a doula-in-training "shadowing" our doula during our birth, she's very friendly and knowledgeable, so we're kind of getting two for the price of one
I'm open to natural and an epi, but just want someone that will support my decisions.
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I'm a doula, and this is very much the way I practice. I know doulas who are all about med-free births and don't really support elective interventions. This isn't me at all. I'm there to see to it that mom's wishes are respected during birth. If that means med-free, great! If that means "I want an epidural just as soon as I'm admitted, but I want to be sure that this baby makes an efficient, safe exit" - great. I've also doula'ed a number of planned cesarean births.
What's important during the initial interview is that I click with the familes, and vice versa. You 100% have to be comfortable with the people in the room while you are laboring and giving birth. There have definitely been couples who interviewed me that didn't "click" with me, and they didn't hire me, and that's okay. Everyone has to be on-board.
I always ask about the mom's/couple's hopes are for their labor and birth, and then let them know that I'm there to support their wishes. I don't work for the hospital, the doctor, or anyone else. I work for the mom first and foremost, and it's my job to see to it that her wishes are respected. That's not to say that unexpected things don't happen, but when unexpected things happen, I'm there to help mom feel like she has a hand in making the decisions that affect her birth, even when decision-making is limited. For example, on occasion moms wind up needing a c-section. Okay, how can we salvage some elements of the birth plan even if the c-section is the last thing mom wanted? We always ask about bringing elements of her ideal birth into the operating room, whether that be skin-to-skin time immediately following birth, essential oils, music, whatever. It's amazing what doctors will agree to (happily) when asked.
If you have questions about doulas, let me know! I'm happy to chat.
I'm open to natural and an epi, but just want someone that will support my decisions.
Sent from my MB865 using proboards
I'm a doula, and this is very much the way I practice. I know doulas who are all about med-free births and don't really support elective interventions. This isn't me at all. I'm there to see to it that mom's wishes are respected during birth. If that means med-free, great! If that means "I want an epidural just as soon as I'm admitted, but I want to be sure that this baby makes an efficient, safe exit" - great. I've also doula'ed a number of planned cesarean births.
What's important during the initial interview is that I click with the familes, and vice versa. You 100% have to be comfortable with the people in the room while you are laboring and giving birth. There have definitely been couples who interviewed me that didn't "click" with me, and they didn't hire me, and that's okay. Everyone has to be on-board.
I always ask about the mom's/couple's hopes are for their labor and birth, and then let them know that I'm there to support their wishes. I don't work for the hospital, the doctor, or anyone else. I work for the mom first and foremost, and it's my job to see to it that her wishes are respected. That's not to say that unexpected things don't happen, but when unexpected things happen, I'm there to help mom feel like she has a hand in making the decisions that affect her birth, even when decision-making is limited. For example, on occasion moms wind up needing a c-section. Okay, how can we salvage some elements of the birth plan even if the c-section is the last thing mom wanted? We always ask about bringing elements of her ideal birth into the operating room, whether that be skin-to-skin time immediately following birth, essential oils, music, whatever. It's amazing what doctors will agree to (happily) when asked.
If you have questions about doulas, let me know! I'm happy to chat.
This is great to know, thank you! I think maybe I should sit down with her and see if we click and how she is then. I can give her some of my plans and see what she says. I might message you in the future when it gets closer if I have some questions
I saw you post about the chiropractor. Don't be scared, I think it will help you feel so much better. Find a chiro that is proficiency rated. They use an instrument called an activator that is very gentle. You might have to go in a few times to help you and feel better, but it won't be forever. I love getting adjusted and feel so much better when I do. If you have any questions too let me know
Chiming in to say my doula is very much pro-whatever mom wants. She didn't voice an opinion on anything until she got a feel for where I was at in terms of med-free vs. epi, etc. As I've worked with her, I've learned what she personally feels is best, but she's been really careful to get a feel for where I'm at before voicing her opinion or waiting for me to ask a question.
No, simply because I'm delivering at a great hospital, and I just no longer feel very strongly about HOW we get the baby out (though I want to do everything to avoid a c-section) as long as we're both okay, so H and I are prepared to advocate on my behalf. Plus, my Mom is a nurse and she'll be in the room with us, so I feel extra confident about my decision.
If we have a disappointing experience, however, we will consider one for #2.