Well truth be told... I haven't had sex in years.My h and I split 7 years ago and it has probably been 5 since I dated, let alone do the nasty. Lol
So I have recently bit the bullet and started dating on Match. I have been seeing a guy from the site for three or so months, one weekend at a time, since we both have kids and don't want to mess anything up and introduce them to each other yet.
It seems like the next step is the sex. We both are a little gun shy but this past weekend we were getting a little hot and simultaneously pulling back. Uhg.
I know he is ready, I think I could be but.... Its all so fucking weird. He suggested a getaway_weekend for the two of us and I think it would be fun but... Crap.. the sex thing. I am 40 going on 16 with this stuff. It has been so long.
Any advice or pointers would be great. I think I will be a fumbling idiot.
Post by VeryViolet on Aug 20, 2013 19:12:15 GMT -5
Go get a Brazilian a few days before the get away, wear a cute matching bra and panty set, and night of drink an extra glass of wine (don't get wasted just looser). Then just do it. It will probably be awkward at first but the first time with anyone is awkward.
Go get a Brazilian a few days before the get away, wear a cute matching bra and panty set, and night of drink an extra glass of wine (don't get wasted just looser). Then just do it. It will probably be awkward at first but the first time with anyone is awkward.
Good advice! Thanks. I never had a brazilian but that would definitely help. You need to feel sexy right? Working on that.
Go get a Brazilian a few days before the get away, wear a cute matching bra and panty set, and night of drink an extra glass of wine (don't get wasted just looser). Then just do it. It will probably be awkward at first but the first time with anyone is awkward.
Good advice! Thanks. I never had a brazilian but that would definitely help. You need to feel sexy right? Working on that.
It makes you very aware of everything down there which can't be bad right. Lol
If you aren't in love and that is one of your requirements for sex, you can tell him that you aren't ready for the weekend away.
Or did I misinterpret that?
I think I may be at a point in my life where love is not as much of an option as it used to be. I think it is just a matter of just getting back on the bike so to speak. I really just want to have fun but think I may be a teensy too uptight. Wine may help
Post by hisno1girl on Aug 20, 2013 19:25:42 GMT -5
Can you just talk to him first?
"I'm really looking forward to our little get away but I have to tell you that I'm also a little nervous. I haven't had sex in a long time and I feel ___________ (scared, awkward, nervous, whatever) about it. I don't want to get our signals crossed, but are you hoping that we'll have sex during our time together? Also, please know that I won't have sex without some sort of protection so please be sure to bring condoms."
Have you both been tested for STDs? If I were going to have sex with someone, I'd ask about sexual risks. He needs to know that the bolded part above is non-negotiable.
I hope he screws you ten different ways to Sunday. (I mean that in a nice way)
Oh he knows. I think he likes that part. I like him and we have a great time together but it's not Love for me yet.
So, now you basically HAVE TO screw him. Not that it will make him fall in love with you, or vice versa but you'll at least know if the potential is there. The first time will probably be weird but I think you only have to do it once to be back in the club. Who knows, you could be deying yourself the golden peen right now and not even know it!! My SIL is 40 and hasn't had sex in 6 years. She's a raging bitch, you need to get some!
I may be your sil. It's true. I really want to be back in the club. I used to love sex. I really want to again.
Here's my experience: I took a four-day trip with a guy I had been seeing for a few weeks. We hadn't had sex yet, but it seemed to be going that way. I was really caught offguard when he suggested the idea of a trip. I really didn't know him that well but I thought it would be fun.
I had a good trip because it was a conference and I knew a lot of people there. BUUUT, I had a LOUSY time with the guy. He couldn't perform. And I had to sleep with him the whole time. I was so uncomfortable and so was he.
And he hogged all the closet space. That really pissed me off. lol
Moral of the story: have sex first BEFORE you take a trip together in order to test the waters, so to speak. Going on a trip together before the first bang may be awkward. KWIM?
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by underwaterrhymes on Aug 20, 2013 19:39:08 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever admitted this on here before. I went 10 years without having sex.
When I was 20 I was forced into having sex when I was drunk with someone I had slept with many times before, but didn't want to sleep with anymore.
Afterward, I made the decision I was going to stop having sex with anyone until I was in love since the casual thing wasn't working out for me.
That went swimmingly for a few years until I realized that falling in love wasn't happening as easily as I thought it would. I fooled around with a bunch of different guys after that, but pretty much stuck to BJs.
I wound up breaking my no-intercourse-until-I'm-in-love-streak with a guy I met through a friend. It was always just sex and that's all I wanted it to be, but I was attracted to him and it felt like the right time for me. Then I promptly slept with four more guys in six months until I met H and the sex-while-in-love dream was fully realized.
My best advice to you is to just go with the flow. Don't push things. Just enjoy hanging out with him and let things go from there. If you both drink, a glass of wine or two (but no more than that) would be good.
I can tell you from experience that it is like riding a bicycle. It all comes back pretty quickly. Don't feel rushed and don't feel pressured. Just enjoy being with him and it will come together.
Ok, I am so on it right now. I am texting him that I would love a getaway - he just has to tell me where to show up. .
Back on the bicycle at 40. I am excited. And a little nervous. I'll pick up some good $$ wine and get a good waxing and let you know.
Wish me luck. Thank God for ml. I have a feeling my stupid brain would have gotten in the way forever at this point.
Ps. Where were you five years ago when I was dating a successful hottie that was talking marriage? Now my cute 35 year old body is a 40 year old train wreck and successful hotties are looking at my little sister.
Have lots of foreplay to grease the wheels, so to speak. If the mood is right, and you're feeling him, go for it! I'm excited for you (is that weird)!!!! Have fun!
Ok, I am so on it right now. I am texting him that I would love a getaway - he just has to tell me where to show up. .
Back on the bicycle at 40. I am excited. And a little nervous. I'll pick up some good $$ wine and get a good waxing and let you know.
Wish me luck. Thank God for ml. I have a feeling my stupid brain would have gotten in the way forever at this point.
Ps. Where were you five years ago when I was dating a successful hottie that was talking marriage? Now my cute 35 year old body is a 40 year old train wreck and successful hotties are looking at my little sister.
Yay! I hope the trip is fun. Try to relax and enjoy!
I bet he thinks you are a hottie. He's woo'ing you. He likes you!
I'm going to be the lame one and caution getting waxed before your trip, though, since you've never done it before. Waxing isn't for everyone, and if you have sensitive skin, you may want to reconsider getting it done just in case you have an adverse reaction. The last thing you want is to feel more uncomfortable because of an unfortunate situation down there.
I'm going to be the lame one and caution getting waxed before your trip, though, since you've never done it before. Waxing isn't for everyone, and if you have sensitive skin, you may want to reconsider getting it done just in case you have an adverse reaction. The last thing you want is to feel more uncomfortable because of an unfortunate situation down there.
This for sure. I had a horrible adverse reaction to waxing. Make sure you give yourself PLENTY of time before the trip.
Post by PeonyParty on Aug 20, 2013 23:52:20 GMT -5
Is it silly that I am so excited for you??? Part of me is like "Oh man, sex with a brand new person would be so weird" while the other part of me so misses that excitement of the unknown with someone new. Be safe and realize yourself as the sexy badass woman you are!