Craptastic day, cancelled my date, and advice

[cemacmil]

So I wasn't feeling great last yesterday at work/last night, headace, hot, etc. Not to mention I had to put a crib bumber on at 9:30 last night and we are in top teething hades over here.

Anyway, got up this am - low-mid grade fever and headache from hell. I knew I had my BIG coulseling appt today and while getting in the car to drop DD off with my mom - surprise - car broken into last night! Both front doors ajar, glove box and middle console open and gone through with the passenger side seat having stuff all over it. So dropped DD off, went to counseling where I got delve into my wonderful past of abuse from XH - telling the details sucks so bad. Like I didn't feel violated enough having that today, the my car gets busted into. WTF.

I had already gave the 2nd date guy a heads up in the am that I might cancel as to not do so at the very last minute - but cancelled officially later this afternoon - work tomorrow and I pretty much have to be there sick or not. He said that he hopes I feel better and we will reschedule.

That is where the advice comes in, not sure to reschedule or not. This week is emotionally draining already (let's not even talk about Father's Day) and talking to my counsler today - I don't know if I really trust myself/instincts dating quite yet. Even causually I feel like I am checking and double checking for any signs of control freak or manipulation qualities type of thing. Plus dating with an almost 1 year old is tough schedule wise - she is my number 1, with me and my time/rest/health a close 2nd.

So do I even reschedule with this guy? Yeah the first date was great, but obviously keeping things surface talk for me right now isn't super easy and I don't want dating to be work, KWIM. Not that I want to spill my guts to anyone who I pretty much just met anyways. I may just be talking out loud here but any advice is much appriciated and thanks for reading.

[kellbell191]

You were really excited about this guy. Go on the second date, keep working in yourself in counseling. Don't sabotage this got yourself, just take it slowly and see how it goes.

[doriswe]

Ohhh honey....sorry your day has been sucky!!

I agree with kellbell, reschedule with this guy. Thing is, it's hard dating with a 1 year old....but it's just as hard with a 2, 3, 4, 5 year old, kwim? It's always a juggling act. And in my opinion, taking time out for YOU makes you a better mom in the long run (and I know that doesn't necessarily always mean dating).

I think you're scared to open up, and rightfully so! Keep working with your counselor but allow yourself to take chances!

[jojoandleo]

I say trust your instincts. Maybe give this a few days and if you STILL don't feel ready to date, then don't date-you aren't ready. It's okay to not be ready. It's much better to get healthy with yourself than to have a fun date, in my opinion.

If after a few days, you really want the second date-go.

There is nothing wrong with not dating if you don't feel ready, regardless of how nice or great the guy is.

[explorer2001]

Take some time to take care of yourself. There will be guys when you are ready. Hugs.

[stephbfan]

My opinion is kind of in between what some other posters have said.

I think that is a good idea to go on a second date with him next week. I honestly think all this you are thinking is not related to him per se but to things that are happening.

Re schedule and go out with him next week or in two weeks. If by then you still feel the same, then you still feel the same then you are not ready to date. There is nothing wrong with it, maybe you just need some time to work on your self.

[jojoandleo]

Jun 19, 2012 20:42:51 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

My opinion is kind of in between what some other posters have said.

I think that is a good idea to go on a second date with him next week. I honestly think all this you are thinking is not related to him per se but to things that are happening.

Re schedule and go out with him next week or in two weeks. If by then you still feel the same, then you still feel the same then you are not ready to date. There is nothing wrong with it, maybe you just need some time to work on your self.

I think this is good advice too. If you just don't want to go, then don't. if you are unsure, do this.

I think you are just the best predictor of what is best for you. trust your gut.

[cemacmil]

Thanks all -

I am kind of in the boat right now where I might see how the next couple days go for me - and then reschedule if I feel I am truly ready to date quite yet.

Yesterday's counseling session opened up a lot of "wounds" if you will that I try and keep closed - so for the next couple days just trying to focus on me and what I need to do. If then I feel like I can push those aside for a date, then I may reschedule.

[achase123]

I would listen to your instincts. If they're screaming at you not to go on the date, then don't. There are plenty of fish in the sea and there's no point in forcing something when you aren't ready.

When the right one comes along the timing will also be right.