Ignoring Coach advice (kid related)

[taffy]

this is more of a vent than anything.

There is a mom on ds's swim team who is, well, difficult.  Last year we were at an outdoor meet. The kids were playing in and out of the sun. (*note, ds is allergic to most sunscreens and I've tried them all.  He turns red, bright red)  So, the kids were playing, I was reading when all of the sudden I heard this loud voice screaming "who is your mother, where is your mother" over and over.  I look up and this mom is screaming at my son.  My son looked petrified and I walked over and asked what was wrong.  She screamed at me that he was getting burned and that I needed to pay attention and get him out of the sun.  Being new to the team I tried to be nice and told her he turns red but isn't burning.  When he gets the sunscreen off he'll be pale as a ghost.  She insisted he get out of the sun and wasn't particularly nice about it.  

They arrived late to another meet and instead of setting their tent behind everyone elses like a sane person, she marched to the front and put theirs up in front of those that had gotten there hours earlier.  

This year, at an indoor meet I was officiating the rules were if you were not competing in that race you couldn't be inside.  There just wasn't enough room.  She  had her 2 boys inside the entire 2nd half of the meet, hiding in a corner. 

The beginning of this year she told the head coach that the other coaches attire was too provocative to be in front of young boys.  Seriously, they were one piece speedos that they wore shorts over. Nothing provocative and seriously, if your 8 year old is getting distracted by that then something else may be an issue.

All this leads up to the state meet. The coach had told the younger kids not to use the bar (don't know if there is a name for it) for the start of the back stroke.  She said they were too little and it would put them in an awkward position for the push off.  She asked the parents to remind the little ones not to use it.  This mom comes up and tells her not to tell her son not to use it.  The coach tried to explain but she wouldn't listen.  She basically told her kids right in front of the coach to ignore her and to use the bar.  (They both did and both added serious time to their race)

The next day the coach was lining up the kids to write their events on their arms like they've done at every single meet (do all swim teams do this?!).  This mom comes screaming for the coach to not touch her son, that he knows what event he is doing and doesn't need it. Coach tries to explain that it helps everyone if they can see what events the kids are entered in.  Mom tries to pull the kid away and he yelled at her that no, he didn't know what races he was doing and needed it written down. 

She won't sit with the rest of the team. She screams at them to do better. They do really well, I think they placed in every event they were entered but when I told her they did great she said "not really"

So I'm thinking she has such an issue with the coach there is no way they'll be coming back to the team next year.  Nope, at the team party the boys said they'd be back.  Now the coach is saying she'll have to have the parents sign a code of conduct contract at the beginning of the season and I don't blame her.  I just don't understand if you aren't going to listen to the coaches advice and do what she says then why be on the team.  If she was giving ds advice I didn't agree with I'd ask her about it (in private) to find out the reason but in the end I'd have ds do what she says.  She brought such a negative feeling to the meets.  

Again, this was more of a vent than anything.  I just finished a double red-eye and have gotten about 4 hours of sleep in the past 50 hours.  I'm  kind of loopy.
 

[joenali]

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

[joenali]

Aug 24, 2013 13:38:21 GMT -5 @vtcupcake said:

Am I picturing her correctly as a washed-up, meth'd out summer sanders, or is she more of a Dolores Umbridge?

Either way, buy you and ds some matching headphones and ignore the crap out of her.

OMG! I met Summer Sanders during the Olympic swimming trials, she is as bubbly as ever and her kid's name is Spider.

[trigal]

I would do my best to ignore her, but there is no way I would put up with her talking about or around my kid!

On the other hand, if other parents feel the same way, is there someone who could speak with her about her behavior? When I was coaching, we had the president of our booster club talk to some of the parents who were acting like you describe (maybe not that bad, though). It was done with the best interest of the kids and the team and the coaches in mind. Parents are not coaches. The head coach would meet with all the parents at the beginning of the season and say as much. Their job is to be parents. Our job is to be coaches. I won't tell you how to do your job as long as you don't tell me how to do mine! Then again, these were high school kids, not 8-year-olds. Hmmm...

And, seriously, a bathing suit is a problem?  Isn't this a swim team?

[kams]

Oh Lord.

This would be hard for me. I would try my hardest to ignore, but in reality I would death stare her way too often.

If she was rude to my kid, I would have to really evaluate the best way to handle that rationally.

This is further proof that I'm not ready for my tiny baby to grow up.

[Deleted]

I feel for those poor kids

[taratru]

I proooobably would have lost my shit on her for yelling at my kid. And the tent thing. I have no patience for that kind of behavior, I think because of my coaching days where parents like that made my life hell.

[agswife]

This sort of makes me home my DD doesn't want to participate in sports, lol. This woman sounds horrid. I would stay far away from her, I would tell her to stay away from my children, and I'd tell my children to stay away from her and her children.

[blndsnbrdr]

Oh wow. This is why I'm afraid of becoming a parent. I have no desire to deal with idiots like her!