3 year old survival tips needed

[twotrue]

Jelly bean's life has had a lot of changes. Plus is 3. Those two things add up to behavior I've never seen. Melt downs. Saying no. Trying every last nerve.

So please, please, please give me your best survival tip.

sent by phone

[Deleted]

Scream into a pillow. Hide in a closet. Alcohol.

Seriously though, take time for you, mommy timeouts are a necessity sometimes. It's okay for babies to cry for a few minutes and for a toddler to scream and hate you until the feeling passes. It's also okay for the other parent to "struggle" with the kids while you take a break. <---this one was hard for me for a long time

Give JB lots of positive attention when she is behaving in a manner that you like. If she is seeking negative attention, ignore/redirect or walk away if she is in a safe place, these things usually take the wind out of my kids sails.

[ssg73]

We went through a real rough period between 3-3.5. It was also last fall so yeah things were stressful in our house, Ella changed schools, I went back to school, Sue got a job, Marriage fell apart, Sue lost job. It was not pretty and Ella's behavior fell apart. SOme of it was being 3 some of it was the changes going on in her life. One thing we found with E was not to engage her when she was freaking out. We tried to do timeouts and that just sent her into over drive So we had a rule that if she was having a fit she could do it in her room alone. She would storm off to her room slam her door have her fit and then come out when she could be a human being. It sucked but she got through it. Sorry that she is having so much trouble. Hugs

[Duchess1]

Prayer. Holy water :-)

We just tried to ramp up our efforts to praise her,involve her,give her choices and one -on -one time. It was a tough phase,so much testing, drama...ugh.

I'm sorry JB is having a tough time. The threeager is a tough,moody phase that even confuses them. They are overwhelmed by their own behavior but lack the skills to reign it in.

PBS would get herself into such a state she couldn't calm down. We showed her how to take a breath,breathe in and out,sip water etc. She still uses the breathing technique when she loses her shit.

I hope things get easier soon. I wish I lived closer and could give you a break. Hang in there ((hugs))

[awkwardpenguin]

CT recommended Love and Logic for Early Childhood for my sister and her daughter. And I would agree (not from a mom perspective, but from a former nanny perspective) to not engage when she's freaking out. Acknowledge and name feelings, give her an idea of how to cope, and then disengage. "I'm sorry that you are mad right now because Mommy has to feed the twins, maybe playing in your room would make you feel better?" "JB, are you feeling sad? What is something that makes you happy? Maybe you could color Mommy a picture."

Note: I would say for me, my crazy kiddo would engage in my suggestion about 0.5% of the time, and the rest of the time would stomp off and get back in control some other way once I disengaged. Somehow I still felt like suggesting something planted some ideas for coping skills.

[ginger]

You just gotta power through. The good times outweigh the bad, but those bad times are ridiculously frustrating.

My rule is M doesn't get to win. This might mean I have to ignore her while she has an epic melt-down. It might mean that she has to continuously return to time out because she continues to do whatever it is she shouldn't be doing, but she doesn't get to win.

And you know what? This part of motherhood/parenthood SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.

But it's worth when you see them being so polite and respectful because that is what is expected of them. It's so worth it when they do it and they don't even know you're watching.

You got this.

[2brides]

L constantly says that I would killed Gray had it not been for Love and Logic (not sure if that is really true...) but it really did help with offering choices and having natural consequences (not that I can get on board with all of them...) I know that you have a crazy amount on your plate right now, but it really did help.