I'm kinda freaking out (what else is new)

[bowies]

I had my last dress fitting and it didn't go so well.  At the second fitting the bodice fit perfectly, but this time it was wrinkly and saggy and you could see my belly button indent (she only did the hem during the last round of alterations).  I felt and looked awful.  The fabric also stretches quite a bit as I wear it, so my boobs end up going saggy as the bodice gets saggier.  I kept thinking it was the lining getting all crinkled in there, but multiple tugs didn't fix the situation.

Here's the thing - it cannot be taken in anymore since it barely makes it over my ass at this point.  It takes two people to zip me into it.

The seamstress wants me to try it on again with some Spanx the week of the wedding since she's on vacation until the 10th.  I'm freaking out over this. Please tell me this is all going to be OK.  I never thought I would regret this dress, but having an internal corset would be really nice right about now.

[Chirp]

It'll all work out. How? I don't know. But it will. These things always work out.

Mark me down as another woman who will never again buy a wedding gown (not like I'm planning on it, but life happens) without a corset. Nope. Ain't gonna happen. I would have loved to have spanx for mine. I just sucked it in and stayed that way for a few hours.

Go do something that relaxes you and try not to worry about it.

[Muddled]

It is going to be ok. For real. This is going to get figured out and you are going to look amazing.



eta- honestly, boning can be added if worse comes to worse

[starburst604]

I don't think I could sleep if I had to wait until the week of the wedding to try it on with the spanx. Is she in your bridal shop? A solo operation? See if you can get in there to try it on even if she's not around so you know if you need to figure out something else with the dress.

[tiramisu]

It will be okay!

Also, I read Muddled's comment about boning very differently. So I prescribe some boning to help you relax and refocus.

[bowies]

OK, since I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I did it, I put on my black Spanx (only ones I have at the moment) and attempted to put it on. Amazingly, putting it on was so much easier with something to help glide it over my donk. Obviously I couldn't zip it, but I held it tight and it looked fine. I think it's a combo of extra water weight in my gut (my period is due soon) and the lining being caught up in there. I'm going to call the shop tomorrow and schedule a final final fitting on the 10th to fine tune. She promised me that she would have it done in 24 hours if I needed it. I need to get my bridesmaid dress altered too, so it works out (incidentally, I ordered a size smaller than they suggested and it's still a little big). She works exclusively with the shop but she's an outside contractor. They swear up and down that she's never had an unhappy bride, so everything is going to be fine. Yes, yes, it will.

[Deleted]

you will look gorgeous, your dress will be gorgeous, and you will be boned repeatedly!

[bowies]

Aug 30, 2013 19:35:06 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

It will be okay!

Also, I read Muddled's comment about boning very differently. So I prescribe some boning to help you relax and refocus.

LOL, FI would heartily agree with this.  I've been such a spaz this week that I've fallen asleep every night as soon as my head hit the pillow.  My insomnia seems to have corrected itself.

[starburst604]

Oh ok you have the dress, good. It sounds like everything will be fine, if the lining is causing the problem that can be taken care of and it sounds like she knows her stuff.

In the end it's nothing a little boning can't fix.

[captainmel]

If you want another seamstress opinion you can PIP the dress.

Seriously though, it will work out. Are you wearing a cosrset style bra? That could help. What is the fabric made out of that it is stretching? Could it be startched slightly so that it stays stiff?

[Deleted]

You are going to look beautiful.

[bowies]

BFF will be back in town Tuesday so she's coming over to scope out the situation. I'm considering putting on a strapless bra after the fabric gives so it doesn't creep down. The dress is heavy!

Boning isn't an option for the dress - the bodice is plain satin. Mel, if you want to Google a pic (I can't PIP from my phone), it's the Watters Torreon.

[captainmel]

bowies. I adore your dress. It is stunning.

I think a strapless bra with a corset style bodice would solve pretty much all your concerns. Most people don't believe me until they put one on.

I really love your dress.

[bowies]

I've tried every corset style bra on that exists and cannot find one that works. My tits are too big and the corset part always ends too short, making my gut 1000 times bigger. Plus even the boning on those show through the satin. The Spanx gives me a good silhouette through the midsection - I just need to pray for some early fall weather so i dont sweat my ass off. It kinda works out since they're crotchless - it'll help with bathroom trips. I'll just need to prepare my mom and BFF that they'll likely see vagina that day.

ETA: Oh, and thanks!  I love it too even though I want to kick its ass right now.  

[Deleted]

Spanx and a strapless bra saved me. I couldn't find a corset bra that would fit my chest.

[captainmel]

The other idea I had was a bra that has a full length slip attached.

I think you're going to look amazing no matter what.

[partiallysunny]

I'm positive it's going to be okay and you'll look beautiful.

When's the big day?

[gault]

Are you feeling better about it, bowies? You are going to look great.

[neonpink]

That dress is stunning. You will look great. When's the wedding? I want to know more about your wedding. I loved wedding planning.

[bowies]

I'm feeling somewhat OK? Far from happy though. I bought some better ribbon at the fabric store yesterday, but it's my Plan B since I just straight-up hate the bustle as it exists in its current form. BFF is in town tonight, so she's coming over for dinner and to survey the situation. If she agrees with me that the dress isn't fitting properly, Plan A is for me to tag along to her final fitting on Thursday and get a second opinion. At this point I don't care if I end up spending more on alterations to make it right.

neonpink, I'm 11 days out from the wedding (hence, panic time). It was supposed to be this small, no-pressure affair and it's basically turned into a vehicle for family drama and difficult people. Which, yanno, is what you get with a wedding. I've managed to budget my time appropriately in the preps - that's not stressing me out at all - but HOLY SHIT I want to disown half our combined families. That's probably not what you cared about (LOL). It's a vintage-styled wedding at a local B&B. Small guest list, small-plates style reception. The traditional elements will be there in some form or another, but the feeling is supposed to be an intimate, relaxed, "at home" wedding. I deserve a medal if I'm able to achieve it.

ETA:  My mom, one of the difficult (negative) people, emailed me yesterday with a long list of questions and then ended with "Let me know how I can help!"  I'm trying to think how I can politely word "Stop being a needy asshole."

FI and I were venting to each other yesterday and it dawned on me that our mothers are very similar and act out in similar ways - the constant need to pickpickpick at their offspring, the joy they derive from gossiping about people, the immature but wise adult (MUCH worse in FMIL, but definitely there in my mom).  So now I'm on guard for our mothers to hate each other. 

This whole post turned into a vent.  Sorry about that.  The colors are pink/taupe/peach.

[captainmel]

You can do it bowies! Your wedding sounds gorgeous.

[Muddled]

Just try to remember that something going wrong is not the end of the world. Will this matter in 5 years? Most of it won't.

Assign jobs and HAVE FUN.

[neonpink]

Your wedding sounds great, your dress seems perfect for a B&B vintage style.

On your Mom I would just pretend that your Mom's email got lost and ignore it. At 11 days out "Ain't nobody got time for that."

What kind of bustle is your dress? American or French?

Lastly my wedding was big for me, it was 106 people. We had some drama a cousin of my husbands got angry at my brother for not helping him get a drink at the bar and threw a glass of red wine on him! (Luckily that was at the end of the night. )

If there was other drama I was to happy being with my H to notice. Live in your own "bubble" and just "can't be bothered" if anyone is is being crazy at your wedding. If I had any other drama I didn't see it and can't remember it.

[bowies]

Let's see if this works. Apologies if the pics are huge.

The top pic is pre-ribbon but shows the 5 points.  I don't know what kind of bustle it is.
The bottom pic is a close up of the ribbons at the 5 points.  The far left one is my attempt at a fix (I would plan to cut the bow off after making a double knot).  As you can see, the other ribbons show up yellowish against the dress. The bottom layer has a hidden 3 point bustle under the skirt.  The lace overlay layer has everything on top of the dress - so a total of 10 small yellowish bows that are threaded together with a separate loose ribbon in pairs to form 5 points. I was always under the impression that the mechanics of the bustle should be hidden, not exposed like that.

[captainmel]

You don't like the bows? I have ideas but I feel like they're kind of hard to explain over the internet. You could do a tiny loop and a button so there isn't a bow.

If I were closer I'd come fix your bustle for you!

[captainmel]

You could also ask about an under bustle that would basically be the opposite of what you have now. It would tuck the bulk under the main skirt instead of having it on top.

[bowies]

BFF said the bows look fine to her too. So maybe I'm overreacting. The bodice, however, is tragic. The breast area is WAY too big and the fabric folds in the bodice actually look worse today than they did last week. The worst part? The zipper is now stuck. Our theory is that the innermost lining wasn't matched up correctly during the alterations and that's what is causing the folds (especially since one side is worse than the other). It's also why the lining is now stuck in the zipper. I'm at such a loss. I literally can't wear my dress right now.

My plan as of right now is to call the shop tomorrow and ask to speak with the owner. I'm going to email my photographer tonight about it too since she has a good relationship with them. This will be fixed before the weekend because OMFG.

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2013 14:03:51 GMT -5 Muddled said:

Just try to remember that something going wrong is not the end of the world. Will this matter in 5 years? Most of it won't.

Assign jobs and HAVE FUN.

Yes - just keep telling yourself this is about YOU and FI and not them and their needs/drama. I know that's hard though. 

[Deleted]

Holy fuck bowies, I'd be so pissed at my dress person. Mine didn't do half the crap she said she was going to do, so my friend Joe was literally sewing pieces of my dress about half hour before I walked down the isle. Want me to send him to your place???

[Muddled]

Ok, the zipper thing is annoying. Really annoying. I hope that fixing that will fix all the issues.

The bustle-- I've only ever had to deal with buttons and loops, but you can't even see the ribbons in the top picture. I think it's fine. Even in the bottom picture.