Newish with a big irk

[heartlyric]

My FI and I had a 13 yr old pound pom. We got her at 9 and the pound warned us that since she was a senior she didn't have many years left. We didn't care, she had been at the pound for a long time and was going to be put to sleep soon and she acted like a puppy but without barking a chewing.

On Monday we had to put her down. It was the most humane thing we could do because she stopped eating a few days ago, she started to cough and by the time we had the vet visit she was uncontrollably vomiting. We found out that a small tumor we didn't see on her had cause some kind of skin infection which caused her heart to fail or at least that is why the vet said what caused her illness. It was so hard and we both sobbed through the entire process.

It has only been a day but three friends have offered us dogs. I mean really? We haven't even had time to throw away the dry food in her bowl and people are persuading us to adopt another dog. Has anyone else gone through this?

[mrsjrd23]

I'm sorry for your loss.
Some people assume that another dog right away is what will work for everyone's grief. You need to decide when/if another dog is right for you.

Thank you for showing a senior dog love the last years of her life.

[caz1221]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Everyone grieves differently, and it's important to do what you know is right for you and your FI. You gave your pup a wonderful life, and maybe some day you will do the same for another dog, but that is entirely up to you. Sending T&Ps your way.

[heartlyric]

Thank you for your support, a lot of people thought it was a dumb thing to do but it was something we felt strong it. My pom had a sad back story. She was a purebred dog that was bred for years, given away to a neglectful family that surrendered her to the pound. They found and contacted the breeder who gave them a great record for her file but would not take her back because the neglect left her with some health conditions. It's so sad that even the woman that raise her had that attitude because she was such a great dog.

I don't know when would be ok to think about another dog. Right now we are just trying to figure out what to do with her possessions. I am trying to focus on enjoying being dog free for a while because she was a great responsibility but I really miss her. She was such an unusual little dog.

[kellbell191]

I also think you're awesome for taking on a senior. It sounds like she gave you a lot of love. People grieve in different ways and a lot of people are "fixers", while they mean well, it is offensive to try and replace your dog. I'm sure they don't mean it that way but I get why it's hurtful. Don't adopt until you feel emotionally ready to. You lost a friend and a family member, it's hard to process.

[patches31709]

I agree with pp - you're a wonderful person for adopting a senior dog, and no matter the troubles in her earlier years, she knew joy and love before she died.

I wish you comfort and peace in the months ahead.

[Deleted]

People do what they can to try to fix it, make it better or stop you from hurting because they feel helpless. Try not to take it as a personal attack. Some people literally do not understand the human/dog bond either.

[calico]

When we put down my 19 yr old kitty in August, I didn't want to see/hear/have anything to do with animals of any sort. I had someone trying to give me a kitten the very next day. It was offputting, but like pps have said, we all grieve differently and I think that seeing someone go through this process is hard for those outside of it. The people offering you an animal don't mean harm, I'm sure.

Take your time and work through the grief process. Try not to be offended at what comes off as insensitivity. You will know when/if you are ready to adopt another life when that time comes.

[heartlyric]

Thank you everyone, the support of knowing that this is not out of the norm makes me feel easier to tell them no, not to react to them in angst.

Doglove, it such a strange thing how people think so differently about their babies. Luckily, all the offers came from people that understood when I said no, but it was such a shock because everyone loved her when she visited.

Calico32, when you put your kitty down, what did you do with their things? I find myself at a loss what to with her things. I don't have the heart to throw them away but I don't want to keep it. I was thinking of donating the unopened boxes of food.

[audienceofone]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's always a hard to choice to make but you know you did the right thing for her.

Donate her stuff to the shelter. I know the one by us is always looking for food and they will take certain other things like leashes or collars in good condition. Give them a call and see what they would take or need. It may be easier than throwing things away.

[troopersmom]

I also adopted a senior and lost him after only 11 months of him living with me. My heart broke like no other pain I'd ever felt. Take some time grieve you don't have to move anything right now or put things away. I left his bed and leash that he rode in my car for a good 5 months and no one was allowed to touch them. Take your time and do what you can do when you can do it. Hugs

[ralphlauren]

I am so sorry for your loss