Starries

[Muddled]

I forgot to ask you. How did you end up handling the weekend as far as time with DS went? I see that you were able to have your beach day, which is fantastic, but how did the rest of the weekend go?

[starrieskies]

Sorry I did not see this earlier! Its been super crazy today!

I let H have him on Friday so he could take DS to the football game. It's pretty rare with BIL and his family are in town, and I thought it was important for DS to be able to visit with them too. H brought him back Saturday afternoon around 4 and I had him for the rest of the weekend. Not having him on Friday also gave me an opportunity to sit down and get a really good chunk of the divorce paperwork completed, and Saturday morning I went into the bank and signed my loan documents. Once I get the rest of the paperwork filled out, I'm ready to move forward.

Sunday we hit the beach, and spent the whole day (which was absolutely amazing) and Monday we just kind of hung out at home and played while I did laundry.

[Deleted]

What about the kiss? How did that happen? Are you safe?

[Muddled]

Sept 3, 2013 18:06:19 GMT -5 doglove said:

What about the kiss? How did that happen? Are you safe?

Ummmmm... Yes, please. Everything ok?



I'm glad that custody issues, at least, seemed to go smoothly.

[starrieskies]

stbx leaned in to kiss me when he picked DS up on Friday. I don't understand why I let him, and I wish I hadn't. It was gross. I ended up pulling away and cutting it much shorter than he'd wanted, but it just didn't feel right at all.

I am going to turn everything in to my lawyer and then ask her to hold on to it for a day so I can let stbx know what's coming. I feel like he should hear my final answer from me, even if it is just over the phone. My dad is home for the next few days, and I've let my bosses know that this is "the week", my lawyer is also prepared to submit paperwork for me for a TRO if I need her to.

The really hard part is going to be the dv evaluation that my lawyer wants stbx to submit to prior to further unsupervised visitation. If stbx is going to flip over anything, it's going to be that.

[Deleted]

Just stay safe, we are here for you.

[Muddled]

Habit, maybe? Be careful. Remember he is a manipulator. He knows your buttons.

Why do you need a whole day to let him know what's coming? Haven't you already told him that you want a divorce?

I can understand why the DV eval would cause some issues. You are aware and prepared and I guess that's all you can do.

[starrieskies]

I'm trying to take every precaution I can. It's a little bit strange because I'm really not sure what his reaction is going to be, but I'm trying to plan for the worst but hoping for the best.

I haven't told him where DS's new daycare is either, and I don't plan on it until I feel comfortable with it. So at least I know that DS is safe, and that is my main concern.

[starrieskies]

Sept 3, 2013 18:33:02 GMT -5 Muddled said:

Habit, maybe? Be careful. Remember he is a manipulator. He knows your buttons.

Why do you need a whole day to let him know what's coming? Haven't you already told him that you want a divorce?

I can understand why the DV eval would cause some issues. You are aware and prepared and I guess that's all you can do.

I haven't spelled it out in black and white yet. I told him that I needed time to process, but I didn't think that our relationship is fixable.

I will admit to leading him on a little bit, but doing so ensured that he would "play nice" and not do anything stupid before I had legal protections in place.

And you're right, I won't need a whole day, but I will probably turn the paperwork in during the day and then call him after work that night, so the documents can be filed the next day.

[Muddled]

Ok. Take care of yourself. You are doing so great!

[starrieskies]

Its funny, my boss even commented on how much more confident I have seemed over the past couple of weeks. I do feel better, and stronger than I thought I would have...

The thought of talking to him scares me a little, but it's not that immobilizing fear that I used to feel. It's more nervous than scared. Does that make any sense?

[Deleted]

Yes, it makes perfect sense and you will continue to gain confidence the more you stand up to him and don't ignore the manipulation.

[Muddled]

Yes, it makes complete sense. You can do this. All of it. And you know it.

[partiallysunny]

I'm so proud of you! Even on here you seem more confident and happy.

The story behind the kiss just made it seem like habit. NBD.

[bowies]

I'm proud of you too! This is all good progress.

[captainmel]

I think you've got everything handled brilliantly. Hooray Starries!

Also, ew, that he kissed you.

[gault]

Thumbs up to the confidence. And this is only in the first few WEEKS! Imagine how the rest of the year will go.

[tiramisu]

Another person checking in to say I'm proud of you! And excited for your future.

[margarita]

Sept 3, 2013 19:35:04 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

I'm so proud of you! Even on here you seem more confident and happy.

The story behind the kiss just made it seem like habit. NBD.

I was going to say the same thing. Even on here you seem more confident, so I'd imagine it's shining through even more in person. You should be very proud...we're all so proud of you!

[starrieskies]

All of you ladies are absolutely amazing! I couldn't imagine doing this without all of your support!!