Helping LO learn to fall asleep on their own?

[charmediamsure]

Jack always nursed to sleep but I have been cutting down the only session we have left which is right before bed.  Today before nap I let him nurse for 2 minutes and then said "all done".  What I have been trying to do is get him to fall asleep without the boob, and he does, but it takes nearly an hour.  WTAF.

He is sleepy but immediately wants the boob so I let him nurse but when I tell him it is finished he does one of two things: super crazy screaming tantrum, or he stands up and walks around the crib and tries to practice climbing.  Sometimes it is a joyful combination of both of these.

I endure (today 40 minutes, last night it was a full hour) these shenanigans before he finally lays down with me and falls asleep.  And he needs/wants me there because he will grab my hand and put it on his chest.  I can't get him to lay down earlier than he is ready for even if he is tired.

Help? I can't do CIO, I feel awful enough with him screaming and crying while I am right there beside him.  I don't know what to do but laying in bed with him for an hour before nap and an hour before bed is not cutting it.  Does anyone read with their LO until they fall asleep?  I'm wondering if that might be the best course of action, but he usually gets so into books that I don't know if he would lay still until he falls asleep.

[sunshineluv]

Is it possible that you being in the room is making it worse? Like he can see and smell you and knows what he wants (your hand on his chest) so it makes the process take longer?

I know you don't want to do CIO, so could maybe DH be the one to get him to sleep for a couple of nights? See if that helps break the associations?

(But I could be totally off, just a thought).

[charmediamsure]

We only have the one bedroom until we move to the new house in a month. And DH works nights. He is off tonight though so I think I will try to have him put him to bed.

We have music on (radio) while he sleeps but maybe I need nighttime lullaby type music.

The crazy thing is that he sleeps in a crib at daycare (1-2 days per week) no problem. They say he doesn't cry, he las down on his own and goes to sleep.

[jsillyfun]

Sorry. I'm no help because May takes an hour to fall asleep and that's WITH nursing to sleep. One mom I know who was weaning, did a thing where she would count to 10 and when she got to 10, her DD had to stop nursing. At first she counted so slow, it took 20 minutes to get to 10, then she gradually reduced until it was like 2 minutes, and eventually her DD stopped. Maybe that would help? Oh, once or twice I've gotten DD to fall asleep by patting her back while she looks at the stars on the ceiling (one of those animals that projects stars). Let us know if you find anything that works!

[thedahliharpa]

D can be told to just lay down and go to sleep by the nanny, grandma, or at pre-school. DH can get her down if I'm in another country. If I am home oh hell no...My current plan is to nurse to sleep until she weans and possibly do some kind of modified night weaning a la Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning plan. First I need to retry having her sleep in another room that is perpetually full of junk. That transition at 11 months is part of what sent her sleep to shit in the first place. I think it will be easier to wait until I can explain "no milk until the sun comes up" since I plan on nursing another year or more...maybe.
Anyways all of the no cry sleep books will tell you to stick to a strict bed time ritual and create new associations which can take time, or not make a difference.

[charmediamsure]

The way I have been cutting down on the time he nurses before bed is what I have modified from Dr. Jay Gordon. And I think he says to stop nursing from 11:00-6am and I've been doing that too (well, he gets a mini nursing session before bed and that is it now) I have completely stopped night feeding and he has stopped waking in the night, which is amazing.

I had a talk with H and he is going to put him to bed tonight. If he has the same struggle of an hour waiting for him to settle we might put the side back on the crib and try daycare's approach tomorrow.

I know these things take time, it's just that hour that is killing me because I have to fight to stay awake.