I'm just sick to my stomach

[doriswe]

So I stumbled on an article about a man from my hometown who just was sentenced to 9 years in prison for sexually assaulting a child under the age of 13 and showing her pornography. It was my XFIL (first marriage) and the girl was my XH's daughter with his new wife (she's maybe 10). I'm just sick about this and cannot believe he did that. I never would have suspected that of him. I'm just floored by this.

ETA: There's really no point to this, but I needed to say it to someone

[BookLover]

Wow! That is disturbing. How awful for the little girl, I hope she will be ok.

I can imagine why it would make you sick. It's hard not think about that when you knew him.

[gozf]

Oh, Jesus. What a nightmare. I am so sorry!

[doriswe]

Ugh, I used to spend holidays with that man....I was part of their family from 16-22. Ugh. I feel so bad for my XH and his family. That poor little girl.

[hobs209]

Oh my goodness, that is SO disturbing. Holy crap. Nine years is not enough.

[kellbell191]

I understand. It's scary to realize that this could happen with people you know. And it's hard to accept that it could be someone you know who seems normal . Thanks to my job I am going to be paranoid about where my kids go and who they go with. Someone else I know who does child molestation cases does not let her kids sleep over at other peoples houses : (

[doriswe]

Jun 20, 2012 20:14:29 GMT -5 kellbell191 said:

I understand. It's scary to realize that this could happen with people you know. And it's hard to accept that it could be someone you know who seems normal . Thanks to my job I am going to be paranoid about where my kids go and who they go with. Someone else I know who does child molestation cases does not let her kids sleep over at other peoples houses : (

I'm the super paranoid mom already....and even though I background check all the parents before my kids hang out there, there's always those who just don't get caught.

[kellbell191]

My game plan is to teach them proper names for body parts at a young age and emphasize with them that nobody has the right to touch them and if anything happens they tell me and I will never be mad.

My most recent case was a teenage step brother molesting two younger step brothers. They finally told another sibling who told their mom who flopped her shit. The teenager had been molested as a child, his parents knew and looked the other way. There are very obvious clues to look for and most attentive parents would see them. The key is not to be so blinded to what is in front of you that you ignore it. I worked on another case where it was the best friends dad molesting, but she was too scared of losing the friendship with the other girl to tell her parents.

If your xfil molested your xh's daughter this wasn't the first time. People look the other way because it's their family and they don't want to believe.

[doriswe]

Jun 20, 2012 20:21:08 GMT -5 kellbell191 said:

My game plan is to teach them proper names for body parts at a young age and emphasize with them that nobody has the right to touch them and if anything happens they tell me and I will never be mad.
quote]

I started when they were 2....and we have that talk regularly.

kellbell, I'm sending a PM btw

[cemacmil]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you found that out. (})

[kellbell191]

I think you have to trust that as a mom, you would catch it. The kids I've seen become emotional for no reason, obsessed with showering, obsessed with feces, obsessed with being dirty or clean. You see the signs you just have to be present and aware enough to recognize them. Basically velvety case I've seen a caregiver was looking the other way because they were too blind or too busy.

[starburst604]

Im sure that hits far too close to home for you. So scary to think that someone we know that well could be a monster. Hugs.

[jojoandleo]

I am so sorry. I understand, this was too close to home. I think sometimes we all live in a bubble where nothing bad is going to happen to us and things like this break that bubble.

[stephbfan]

OMG Doris Im so sorry.

[marigoldgirl]

I'm sorry to hear about this. It really sickens me to know that people do this. It sickens me that people look the other way.

[explorer2001]

Jun 20, 2012 20:01:50 GMT -5 hobs209 said:

Oh my goodness, that is SO disturbing. Holy crap. Nine years is not enough.

well.it is long enough for him to get shanked in prison. The tragedy is the poor girl having to live with this for the rest of her life. Nine years of therapy won't be enough.

[hobs209]

Jun 21, 2012 1:48:32 GMT -5 explorer2001 said:

Jun 20, 2012 20:01:50 GMT -5 hobs209 said:

Oh my goodness, that is SO disturbing. Holy crap. Nine years is not enough.

well.it is long enough for him to get shanked in prison. The tragedy is the poor girl having to live with this for the rest of her life. Nine years of therapy won't be enough.

That's true. I imagine that won't take much time at all.

[kellbell191]

Jun 21, 2012 6:52:52 GMT -5 hobs209 said:

Jun 21, 2012 1:48:32 GMT -5 explorer2001 said:

well.it is long enough for him to get shanked in prison. The tragedy is the poor girl having to live with this for the rest of her life. Nine years of therapy won't be enough.

That's true. I imagine that won't take much time at all.

Most states now have laws for civili commitment of sexually violent predators. Meaning after you serve your time a psych evaluates you and if you're deemed high risk to re offend your ass stays in jail after you've technically served your time. Until a patch decides you're not a risk.

[prettyinpearls]

OMG.. I'm sick to my stomach for you. I don't even know the guy and I'm pissed he could do something so horrible. I hope that your XH can help his daughter get the help she'll be needing to get through all of this.

[udscoobychick]

Jun 21, 2012 7:25:48 GMT -5 kellbell191 said:

Most states now have laws for civili commitment of sexually violent predators. Meaning after you serve your time a psych evaluates you and if you're deemed high risk to re offend your ass stays in jail after you've technically served your time. Until a patch decides you're not a risk.

That's good to know.

Doris, I'm so sorry to hear this! T&P for your family and your XH's family. I hope the little girl gets the help that she needs.

[dakotadangerdog]

That is so terrifying and sad

[usedtobebear]

OMG, that is a terrible story!! That poor child, ugh!!

[naeljun]

How scary. That poor child. I worry so much about this happening to DD.

[mayflowers22]

Oh my, I'm so sorry!