Has anyone overcome the toddler food battle yet?

[laurack]

I'm wondering if this is a phase, why does it not end?!!

At what age would you just send your kid to bed hungry if they refused to eat the family dinner?

Yesterday I made two kinds of stew so I could skip cooking for a couple days, a beef stew and a vegan stew with various veg, chickpeas etc. well she wouldn't eat either last night and she wouldn't eat either tonight. She was still in her chair with the plate of food, crying pushing it away, saying "snack snack. Nana. Nanaaaaaaaa"

I know that by giving in and giving her pouches, cheese sticks and fruit like she wants, I am not helping the situation. But, can I really send a 16month old to bed hungry? It seems wrong.

ive complained about this a lot already so I'm sorry. But it is killing me! She used to eat EVERYTHING! Baby led weaning was supposed to make this not happen but it's happening anyway. Ugh.

[ruby412]

Hmmm, Violet is really picky, but I would never consider letting her go without a meal at this age. I don't make her eat what we're eating if she doesn't want to. I will always offer her things that she likes, along with offering her whatever the new/undesired thing is too. When she's old enough to be reasoned with, I might take a different stance.

[helicase]

T is a fairly good eater, but lately, we've had problems like you've mentioned at dinner time. If I know he's eaten well during the day and has drank a good amount of milk at dinner, I'll take him to bed after he rejects dinner. I give him multiple opportunities to eat his food (over 15-20 min) and if he communicates "all done" (saying it, playing with/throwing food), we'll take his plate away. He doesn't seem over hungry in the mornings, so I think it's ok if he doesn't eat his entire dinner. GL!

[TrudyCampbell]

Sept 9, 2013 20:28:18 GMT -5 ruby412 said:

Hmmm, Violet is really picky, but I would never consider letting her go without a meal at this age. I don't make her eat what we're eating if she doesn't want to. I will always offer her things that she likes, along with offering her whatever the new/undesired thing is too. When she's old enough to be reasoned with, I might take a different stance.

Ditto this, except my Violet isn't that picky. Lately she's been a PITA with food because she's teething.

[Deleted]

I would always offer what you are having. If she refuses, offer one thing she likes, but keep the other stuff on her tray. If she seems hungry after that, keep offering "liked" foods, and keep offering the regular dinner. I am no expert, and my kid won't eat half the stuff we offer, but we keep trying. I can't send him to bed on an empty stomach either. Picky toddlers are so difficult to deal with!

[orriskitten]

Last night was the first night we sent her to bed without any kind of a real dinner. To be fair, we tried EVERYTHING that she likes and she just refused and cried. She silent cried with just about everything. Like Matilda, she wanted a banana so we gave it to her, she took one bite and spit it out and cried some more.

We still do jars of baby food and pouches, though. She doesn't always want to eat table food and it is more important to me that she eats something than that she eats table food. We don't go to snacks usually unless she just won't touch anything else and have a pretty steady routine now. First we try giving her a plate of food and her fork/spoon, then she hands the plate to us when she doesn't want it in front of her and try offering it to her with us feeding her. If she doesn't take it, we move on to jar or pouch, usually with her holding the spoon. I think giving her the control helps us, but its not a unlimited buffet of whatever she wants.

I've also discovered that she really does not like mixed textures or different foods at once. We did stew tonight so she had beef in one part of the plate, noodles on another and veggies on another. If you try beef+noodles, its instant spitting it out even if she likes it.

But yea, we're still fighting the good fight on this one. I hope she starts liking more things soon. On the plus side, she now loves tomatoes and runs to the fridge and demands "Matas!"

[joyhart02]

I wish I could help you, but once Lydia hit his phase, it never ended. She will still not eat things she did from 9-15 months. She is old enough to reason with now, and we tell her you used to eat this when you were a baby. She has gotten a little better recently but it was really bad for awhile.

Keep offering something new, something she is okay with and something you know she likes.

I am a food devil and make two meals to make sure my children eat and not make food a battle. If they don't eat the food I know they will like, then dinner is over.

I think the main thing is to continue to offer the fruit, when Lydia was 2 and the winter hit and fruit was scarce we didn't offer it as much, now she is very selective.

Calista is being fussy lately but she is snotty and teething so her favorite thing are fruit pouches and veggie straws

[fryjack2]

Jack had 2 cut up grapes and one half of a ravioli for dinner tonight. He threw everything else on the floor.

As long as they have one good meal and drink their bottles all day, I've given up on the eating fight. They throw food (usually its a few options and at least one thing I know they like) on the floor 3 times, they get the tray taken away for a minute. Throw food again 3 times, and its a 30 second time out, throw food again and meal time is over.

I HATE HATE HATE meal time. Especially now that they want to try to use spoons by themselves. I want to tell them to just use their fingers until they are 5

[Deleted]

OMG thank you all for posting this. My child eats cottage cheese, yogurt, and/or applesauce, and fruit as dinner at least 3-4 times per week because I can't get him to eat anything else.
One day he's all Ymmmm about something then the next day he spits the same thing out in total disgust.

[formerlyllizzyb]

I can't wait until I can be a hard ass about food (so, age 4? 5? Lol). I try to make sure there is one thing on his tray he has eaten in the last week and is a healthy food. Tonight he got new tortellini and a side of black beans (his safe food). He licked the pasta and spit it out, and refused the beans for 10 minutes. Finally ate a tablespoon of beans, drank his milk, and signed all done. Whatever.

I completely gave up on getting him to eat what we're eating. I'm just trying to broaden his food options and keep introducing new foods, while making sure his safe foods stay in rotation enough to stay familiar.

He is also one who will not touch any type of mixed dish. All components must be separate.

[Deleted]

I mix hummus with other veggies or meatballs. He likes tzaziki dip too.

[Deleted]

All Wy will eat is Carbs and fruit/ veggie pouches. Tonight he ate like 3 bites of chicken and I almost did a dance because my carb kid ate something that was half assed healthy.

Wy will eat bread, potatoes, crackers, more bread, peanut butter on bread, fruit smoothies, pouches, oatmeal, bread, french fries, chicken fingers sometimes, bread and more bread. And I am being serious here.

[laurack]

She just will NOT eat a vegetable, even to have vegetables on her tray now bothers her. She will hand each piece of vegetable to me and say "all done"., Shaking her head sadly. Then eat all the cheese/fruit/toast I will give her.

Glad I am still not alone. I just get so worried I will have a picky kid forever, I don't want to be a short order cook I don't have time!

[mscatra]

Sept 9, 2013 20:29:45 GMT -5 helicase said:

T is a fairly good eater, but lately, we've had problems like you've mentioned at dinner time. If I know he's eaten well during the day and has drank a good amount of milk at dinner, I'll take him to bed after he rejects dinner. I give him multiple opportunities to eat his food (over 15-20 min) and if he communicates "all done" (saying it, playing with/throwing food), we'll take his plate away. He doesn't seem over hungry in the mornings, so I think it's ok if he doesn't eat his entire dinner. GL!

Same here.  I make sure to include things I know she has eaten in the past, and if she decides she's not eating that because pretzels (her current addiction) are more appealing, she'll be done with dinner and doesn't get pretzels.  If for some reason our meal is all untried things, I will offer her something else (usually leftovers from a previous night) after she tries the new stuff and rejects it.

[laurack]

Oh wait she will also eat chicken nuggets and pouches!

[laurack]

Also I asked them at daycare and they said of the 9 kids in her room there are only maybe 2 who eat the vegetables now, so it's definitely very common I guess.

[formerlyllizzyb]

Sept 9, 2013 20:48:47 GMT -5 @jayhawkali said:

I mix hummus with other veggies or meatballs. He likes tzaziki dip too.

totally not directed to you, but lol at this response in a picky eating thread. Veggies? Meatballs? Hummus? Yeah right, my kid says. Pass the bread and cheese.

[helicase]

So, reading this thread makes me feel bad about my "he'll eat if he's hungry" mentality.

[formerlyllizzyb]

Sept 9, 2013 21:03:01 GMT -5 helicase said:

So, reading this thread makes me feel bad about my "he'll eat if he's hungry" mentality.

I wouldn't! My kid has some feeding issues, so that's why I put one safe food with any new food or food he's turned down lately. But if he doesn't eat the one safe food, then I have the "he'll eat it if he's hungry" mentality.

[fryjack2]

Sept 9, 2013 21:03:01 GMT -5 helicase said:

So, reading this thread makes me feel bad about my "he'll eat if he's hungry" mentality.

Why?   Its true for the most part.   Some days my boys will eat a ton for dinner and then barely eat breakfast. Other days they will chow down at breakfast and hardly eat the rest of the day.  They aren't lethargic, have good wet diapers, poop every day, and are for the most part happy.   Sometimes they would rather play than eat.  I'm ok with that as long as they don't go a whole day without eating something.

And, to be honest, I don't really cook.  They have a rotation of about 6 meals.  We try new things every once in awhile but its mostly the same few meal options.  They will eat when they want to. Don't stress too much about it!

[monkeybabe]

Sept 9, 2013 21:14:12 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I almost never make her an alternative meal, but she never acts like she's hungry or asks for anything else. She just rejects her meal, plays with her food, signs "all done" etc. Sometimes if I know she hasn't eaten much or was hungry before I picked her up, I will make her some scrambled eggs, which are usually a win, but most of the time, I don't bother.

This is kind of how Zoe is. If she doesn't eat her dinner, she's nursed to sleep, so I don't worry much about it, though.

[mumegs]

Yeah for us it seems she is just not hungry sometimes, she won't eat anything. Even stuff we know she likes. Idk how she keeps gaining weight because sometimes it feels like she hardly eats anything. Then we have nights like tonight where she ate some of everything, broccoli, baked potato and salmon. I was shocked. But I don't force her to eat if she won't eat even stuff she likes, what can you do really?

[Deleted]

Sept 9, 2013 20:58:37 GMT -5 formerlyllizzyb said:

Sept 9, 2013 20:48:47 GMT -5 @jayhawkali said:

I mix hummus with other veggies or meatballs. He likes tzaziki dip too.

totally not directed to you, but lol at this response in a picky eating thread. Veggies? Meatballs? Hummus? Yeah right, my kid says. Pass the bread and cheese.

We never really given him a lot of carbs like pasta or rice for dinner. I do do toast sometimes but again it's with hummus. the only way for him to eat the veggies is if I mix it in something. For two months the only way he would eat veggies was if it was frozen peas.

[katie]

We had pasta and chicken tonight, Lillian ate a few bites of chicken then started to play with her food. I gave her applesauce and she ate 2 containers. This was really the first time she refused food, she's a good eater but lately the only veggie she will eat is peas. I know she's teething and has another cold. Since I don't deal with this a lot I really don't know but giving her something different to eat doesn't seem like a big deal at this point.

[helicase]

Sept 9, 2013 21:17:48 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Oh, also, even when she does eat, this is the routine (if I'm sitting with her): pick up a piece of food, offer it to mom and say "eh?" Me: "no thanks!" J: grins, starts to put food in mouth, pulls it out, offers it to me again. Rinse and repeat indefinitely. :^) Sometimes she'll eventually eat it and sometimes she just places it on the table instead.

Same here.  If it's something good, I'll eat it when it's offered the first time .

[Deleted]

He also won't touch green beans or any squash no matter how I cook it. I tried roasting it in the oven cut like fries and that worked for about a month.

[dixeedeluxe]

I let them have fruit if they don't want dinner.

[vthokie]

A used to be a great eater. Now she's gotten finicky at dinner. But, she's been pretty moody all around. She'll try a bite, maybe eat 1 or 2, then spit out the rest and ask for fruit. Once she asks for grapes or a banana, we're done for. I have just made a habit to not give her what she wants if she gets something different. She is obsessed with grapes right now, so when she freaks out and is done with her meal, I'll give her some yogurt or something similar. Then, she still gets some food and protein, but I feel like I didn't give in because she didn't get grapes. Most of the time, if I leave her alone for long enough, she'll eat a little off her plate.

[livinreality]

Sept 9, 2013 21:03:01 GMT -5 helicase said:

So, reading this thread makes me feel bad about my "he'll eat if he's hungry" mentality.

We have this mentality and a 3 year old who eats anything but fresh tomatoes.  That being said if the kid eats about 5 times a day, 3 meals 2 snacks he is not going to starve by rejecting one. About every other day he says no to his dinner, but will eat some.


In general I try to offer at least one food he likes (well at least yesterday).  He now batters food, will eat a bite of chicken for a grape and really likes dipping things.

eta: *normally eat some, after fussing

[dixeedeluxe]

This wouldn't work for adeline, but u ask edie to eat 5 bites and put 5 fingers up. I make a big deal about being proud when she takes a bite and I put a finger down.

Then I don't punish her and she gets fruit or yogurt anyway.

But I do praise more if she takes more than her 5. Which she often does.