Not sure what to do (long)

[CurlyQ284]

I recently started getting a handle on finances.  We are so tight on money I was just avoiding it because it made me sick.  When I really looked at everything last week I realized we had more money going out than coming in. I posted everything on MM, we are bare bones.  We don't really go out to eat, no cable etc.  I am making cuts on groceries, cell phone, we are going to carpool from now on and those types of things but there is nothing extravagant going on in my life. We live in a HCOL and we tried to move to Michigan in the spring but DH didn't get an offer before our lease was up.  Our landlord already found another tenant so we had to move and sign a year lease in May.  

My boss talked to dept head about overtime for me and was denied.  DH travels for work Mon-Thursday and is in school (GI bill is paying for that, not us) so he can't do much about a second job.

Options I can think of:

Should I get a second job?  - it would have to be something I can do from home or on weekends when DH is home because I don't have anyone that could watch DS if he is on travel during the week.

Should I look for a new job here that pays more even though we might be moving in 9 months?  Honestly we HAVE to move.  We cannot stay here.  Cannot afford this place.

Should we try to move early?  I don't know how we would pay for a moving truck and startup costs on a new lease right now.  I will get $3-$5K at Christmas and plus our tax refund in Feb will set us up to be able to move in the spring.

Our lease says: "Except as provided herein, Tenant shall not be released from liability for rent and other charges due under Lease unless Landlord agrees in writing to release Tenant from such liability. Tenant's vacating the Premises prior to the end of Lease Term will not cancel any claims Tenant or Landlord may have arising out of events occurring during Lease Term or during any holdover by Tenant."

The exceptions are military orders and our current employers transferring us (not an option).

So I guess he would have to agree in writing to release us from the lease in order to move early, so we would have to get permission before we job search right? Or else we owe him for the remainder of the lease? Our rent is $1650 a month so...that would be a lot of money.

I don't know what happened, we were doing FINE in April.  We got hit with all these insane surprise expenses that wiped out our savings and now 5 months later I feel like we are totally fucked.  I have no idea which path we should try to pursue.  I am so embarrassed to have to post this so hopefully you all will go easy on me even though I've made a mess of my life.

I'm going to pick up DS at daycare now so I might not respond right away.

[ijack]

Is it possible you could tutor or watch another child at night or during the weekends? Is there anything you can sell on ebay?

[CurlyQ284]

Sure, I could watch another kid. My mom works at a school, I can ask her if anyone needs a sitter.
ETA light turned green. In the parking lot now. We have some stuff to sell in a yard sale and some gold jewelry we don't use that we wanted to unload. Should I use that money to get by until spring? Or to put towards moving early?

[Mrs. ChanandlerBong]

At this point, I would get a weekend job. Do you have a decent relationship with your landlord where you can ask him/her about what will happen if you need to move to Michigan sooner than your lease ends? It might be possible that you'll only need to pay 1 months rent or forfeit the security deposit to get out of your lease. I would hate to see missed job opportunities because you can't move until the end of the lease.

[TC]

This might be a totally obvious question so I'm sorry if I make you feel like duh of course you already thought of that but just in case...

Has your H applied for federal student aid outside of the GI Bill? You are still eligible for financial aid even while receiving the GI Bill and 100% BAH. In 2011, the system changed to such that the GI Bill would be the last payer of tuition and all financial aid dedicated to tuition and fees would go to tuition first and then the GI Bill would pick up the tab, HOWEVER, this does not apply to federal direct student loans and the Pell Grant because they can legally be used for things other than tuition and fees. You are still entitled to 100% of the Pell Grant you qualify for. A LOT of schools try to fudge this and will tell a veteran they are double dipping if they take their Pell Grant and will try to keep it and this is NOT TRUE. So many veterans are not questioning this and end up not receiving their pell grant even though they are entitled to it.

I just wanted to bring this up in case you didn't know and perhaps there is more financial aid available to your family than you are currently receiving.

[flamingeaux]

Can you look for jobs where you want to go and give maybe a start date of one to two months out? If your LL is able to find a tenant before you leave he may let you out of the lease as long as he isn't losing income.

Sent from my HTC One X using proboards

[CurlyQ284]

Sept 10, 2013 14:58:27 GMT -5 TC said:

This might be a totally obvious question so I'm sorry if I make you feel like duh of course you already thought of that but just in case...

Has your H applied for federal student aid outside of the GI Bill? You are still eligible for financial aid even while receiving the GI Bill and 100% BAH. In 2011, the system changed to such that the GI Bill would be the last payer of tuition and all financial aid dedicated to tuition and fees would go to tuition first and then the GI Bill would pick up the tab, HOWEVER, this does not apply to federal direct student loans and the Pell Grant because they can legally be used for things other than tuition and fees. You are still entitled to 100% of the Pell Grant you qualify for. A LOT of schools try to fudge this and will tell a veteran they are double dipping if they take their Pell Grant and will try to keep it and this is NOT TRUE. So many veterans are not questioning this and end up not receiving their pell grant even though they are entitled to it.

I just wanted to bring this up in case you didn't know and perhaps there is more financial aid available to your family than you are currently receiving.

Oh crap. No DH applied for the Pell Grant, I forgot about it completely. I'll ask him about it tonight.

[CurlyQ284]

We have zero relationship with the LL so I'm not sure how it would go with him.

[TC]

Let me know if he did qualify and never received it and the school is trying to tell you he can't. I'll send you over all the documentation that I digged up when I was researching this for ourselves. That could be an additional $5500 a year you're not seeing.

[bex1973]

Can't GI Bill provide some extra for living expenses? Some of the students I work with that are on the GI Bill get that. Or maybe that's the post 9/11 Bill & he's on something different?

This is all the suck Hurry up and move to MI - it's cheap here!! HUGS

[vanillacourage]

I'm a landlord.  If you approached me about this, I would (nicely) tell you that I could immediately start marketing the place for re-rent, but you'd be on the hook for rent and utilities until someone else could move in.  You would also forfeit your security deposit.

[catwithspots]

This year my DD is in Kinder. I was SURPRISED at the number of days the schools are closed for teacher workshops, parent/teacher conference,fall break, etc.

Several parents have been asking around to stay-at-home moms that would be open to watching their child on days the school is closed, after all, it is not a holiday for working aduts! There have been numerous deals on the playground

This may be a great win/win for you: watch 2-3 kids the 2-5 days/month. You dont have to be tied to a full time schedule, but you would have a steady flow of income. Here, the moms charge between 30-40/day per child.

[TC]

Sept 10, 2013 15:21:10 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:17:04 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Can't GI Bill provide some extra for living expenses? Some of the students I work with that are on the GI Bill get that. Or maybe that's the post 9/11 Bill & he's on something different?

This is all the suck Hurry up and move to MI - it's cheap here!! HUGS

Post 9/11 offers a housing allowance, but not the Montgomery, and it can fluctuate because it's based on a per diem rate. 

You also need to be taking at least one class on campus to qualify for the full possible amount. Using the GI Bill is kind of confusing. 

[CurlyQ284]

Sept 10, 2013 15:21:10 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:17:04 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Can't GI Bill provide some extra for living expenses? Some of the students I work with that are on the GI Bill get that. Or maybe that's the post 9/11 Bill & he's on something different?

This is all the suck Hurry up and move to MI - it's cheap here!! HUGS

Post 9/11 offers a housing allowance, but not the Montgomery, and it can fluctuate because it's based on a per diem rate. 

He gets the housing allowance, it pays for daycare. We got a letter saying they overpaid by $2k so they are going to take it out of future payouts. DH hasn't been able to reach anyone to figure out what's going on because we've been getting a few hundred less each month because it fluctuates so i have no idea where the $2k is. He will be on hold for an hour and then he has to hang up because of something at work. I'm assuming we will get nothing next month. I have no idea how we will pay for daycare.

[CurlyQ284]

He has class on campus on Thursdays and the rest is online so he qualifies for the full amount. His boss tries to schedule him on trips that get him home Thursdays so he can go to class but sometimes he has to miss for a Friday-ending trip.

[snickers]

Sept 10, 2013 14:52:20 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

Sure, I could watch another kid. My mom works at a school, I can ask her if anyone needs a sitter.
ETA light turned green. In the parking lot now. We have some stuff to sell in a yard sale and some gold jewelry we don't use that we wanted to unload. Should I use that money to get by until spring? Or to put towards moving early?

IF you ll will let you move early without any cost to you, I would move now and use the $ money you get from the above to go towards moving costs. Do you know anyone with trucks that could help you move?

[bex1973]

Sept 10, 2013 15:26:30 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:21:10 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Post 9/11 offers a housing allowance, but not the Montgomery, and it can fluctuate because it's based on a per diem rate. 

He gets the housing allowance, it pays for daycare. We got a letter saying they overpaid by $2k so they are going to take it out of future payouts. DH hasn't been able to reach anyone to figure out what's going on because we've been getting a few hundred less each month because it fluctuates so i have no idea where the $2k is. He will be on hold for an hour and then he has to hang up because of something at work. I'm assuming we will get nothing next month. I have no idea how we will pay for daycare.

We have a Veteran's Resource Center on campus - is there one at his school? Or maybe a nearby school that he could go to for advice rather than trying to do it over the phone?

[TC]

Look, I know that everyone's stance on SL is different, but if your H is genuinely working towards a lucrative degree with a serious end game goal that is projected to pay reasonably well... this is where I would start looking into subsidized student loans until you can get your housing situation worked out. It's a difficult system, it's a slow system, and you don't really 100% know what to expect from month to month... with a kid in the mix, I would see no wrong in making sure you guys have a bit of a cushion. Nothing extravagant, but a few extra grand until you can get into lower cost housing might help a lot if you can't work out another option.

My first flameful.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Sept 10, 2013 15:31:26 GMT -5 TC said:

Look, I know that everyone's stance on SL is different, but if your H is genuinely working towards a lucrative degree with a serious end game goal that is projected to pay reasonably well... this is where I would start looking into subsidized student loans until you can get your housing situation worked out. It's a difficult system, it's a slow system, and you don't really 100% know what to expect from month to month... with a kid in the mix, I would see no wrong in making sure you guys have a bit of a cushion. Nothing extravagant, but a few extra grand until you can get into lower cost housing might help a lot if you can't work out another option.

My first flameful.

We do this for DH. He qualifies for more money than his school actually costs, so we keep the extra for the things that come up that are at least partly school related- tokens for the El, sometimes we need to get a computer program so he can more easily work at home, that kind of thing. 

[CurlyQ284]

I talked to DH and he had some additional ideas. He makes money when he travels so he's going to ask his boss if he can travel more (he picks hotels that do breakfast and dinner and then he's able to pocket his per diem). My brother is actually the one who schedules travel and everyone is on a job this week except DH. DH emailed him asking what's up and he read the email and didn't answer (he has told SIL in the past that he was going to "help me" by keeping DH home, we told him it's not necessary but maybe he isn't listening which pisses me off). So DH is going to his boss to ask if he can either travel more or be permanently off the road.

If he is able to stay home, then he suggested I ask my boss if I can work nights. My boss is usually flexible so this would allow us to get DS out of daycare and I could SAH during the day with him (pocket the GI bill money instead of handing it over to daycare) and work from 4 pm - midnight. We will do this until the money comes in around Christmas that could pay for the move and then try to get jobs in Michigan starting in January.

It turns out he did qualify for the Pell Grant but it was too late and the money was gone (I guess there's a finite amount?) He's going to check again. We don't want to take out more student loans because we are so bad right now I don't want to make it worse. I'll see if someone on campus can help us since we can't seem to get a live person on the VA end of things.

Thank you so much guys. I seriously would be a giant heap of mess without this place.

[formerlyak]

Sept 10, 2013 16:04:44 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Sept 10, 2013 15:31:26 GMT -5 TC said:

Look, I know that everyone's stance on SL is different, but if your H is genuinely working towards a lucrative degree with a serious end game goal that is projected to pay reasonably well... this is where I would start looking into subsidized student loans until you can get your housing situation worked out. It's a difficult system, it's a slow system, and you don't really 100% know what to expect from month to month... with a kid in the mix, I would see no wrong in making sure you guys have a bit of a cushion. Nothing extravagant, but a few extra grand until you can get into lower cost housing might help a lot if you can't work out another option.

My first flameful.

We do this for DH. He qualifies for more money than his school actually costs, so we keep the extra for the things that come up that are at least partly school related- tokens for the El, sometimes we need to get a computer program so he can more easily work at home, that kind of thing. 

I did this to build a little cushion when I was in grad school and was a single parent. I probably took out about $5k more than tuition and I don't regret it one bit.

[vanillacourage]

How are you going to watch your son during the day and then work nights? When are you going to sleep?

If you have child care beginning at 4, look into waiting tables. When I did, if you were the opener (at 4:00-4:30) you were also first cut, so you'd usually be done by 9. Could be a way to pick up more money without having to add in a weekend job.

[Some Funny Name]

I am a landlord, and I manage residential & commercial rentals for private clients. I wouldn't refund your security deposit, but I also wouldn't go after you for the rest of the rent, especially if I knew or suspected you had moved out of state and I didn't have a forwarding address. It's just not really time or cost effective to do so. The time is better spent turning the property over and finding a new tenant. In order to collect, your current landlord would have to hire a local lawyer, which usually requires a hefty retainer, obtain a judgment, hire someone to find you, then hire a lawyer in your new state to pursue the judgment. It's quite expensive and time-consuming, especially if your current landlord is an individual or small company. You should still tell them you are leaving, and leave the place in re-rentable condition, but I highly doubt they would pursue it unless they are a large corporation who routinely deals with these things.

[CurlyQ284]

Sept 10, 2013 18:39:07 GMT -5 Some Funny Name said:

I am a landlord, and I manage residential & commercial rentals for private clients. I wouldn't refund your security deposit, but I also wouldn't go after you for the rest of the rent, especially if I knew or suspected you had moved out of state and I didn't have a forwarding address. It's just not really time or cost effective to do so. The time is better spent turning the property over and finding a new tenant. In order to collect, your current landlord would have to hire a local lawyer, which usually requires a hefty retainer, obtain a judgment, hire someone to find you, then hire a lawyer in your new state to pursue the judgment. It's quite expensive and time-consuming, especially if your current landlord is an individual or small company. You should still tell them you are leaving, and leave the place in re-rentable condition, but I highly doubt they would pursue it unless they are a large corporation who routinely deals with these things.

I'm a landlord too, we were unable to sell our house in Mississippi after we lost our jobs. I have a property manage and they get a judgment for $65 in court fees. I then give that judgment to my debt collector who goes after the money and she keeps 40% of what's collected. I barely do anything. Our landlord is a property manager/real estate company so I'm a little scared.

That's actually where the bulk of my savings went. Tenant was evicted for nonpayment and I had to cover both houses all summer and replace the floors because he cut a huge square out of the living room carpet.

[CurlyQ284]

Sept 10, 2013 18:33:53 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

How are you going to watch your son during the day and then work nights? When are you going to sleep?

If you have child care beginning at 4, look into waiting tables. When I did, if you were the opener (at 4:00-4:30) you were also first cut, so you'd usually be done by 9. Could be a way to pick up more money without having to add in a weekend job.

He wakes up at 7 or 8 so I would get up with him, DH can go in early and be home by 3:30. I work from 4-12 and sleep from 12:30-7 or 8 when DS wakes up. Its about the same amount of sleep I'm getting now. I sleep from 10/11 until 5.

[CurlyQ284]

Also, we don't qualify for government assistance. We make a decent amount of money on paper but a chunk is taken out for child support after taxes and we live in a HCOL area so it doesn't go very far.

Also, DH is ex-military so I don't know which resources are available to him since he isn't active military.