Kids in restaurants - embarrassing moment today

[Deleted]

So, as a....precursor? I have a 16-month old. I get that kids can be assholes.

Went for lunch today at a casual restaurant in town with 2 friends. One brought their 2-year old. Before we even could order, the kid started throwing a temper tantrum. Didn't want to go in the high chair. Tried a booster. Kid is having a MELTDOWN. Screaming like I've never heard. Mom is kinda attempting to calm him down, but not REALLY, considering there are like 30+ other people in the restaurant.

Owner comes over to see if she can get the kid a drink & some food ASAP to appease him. Kid starts throwing a BIGGER tantrum, for like 5 minutes. Mom doesn't even pick him up, so I'm like "um, want me to try and hold him?" Mom is like, no, he will calm down. At this point its almost 10 minutes of total freakout, screaming, kicking, etc. 

Owner comes back over to take our orders, and is like "so, maybe its just not his day to eat out?" trying to kindly suggest maybe mom should take her kid and leave. but NOPE. She seriously sat there and let the kid scream for like 30+ minutes on and off. People looked PISSED in the restaurant. He threw the food once it arrived. Other friend I'm with (also has kids) is saying nothing. I ask if I should get them a to-go box for the food.

Friend was annoyed I thought she should leave with the kid. but honestly, 30+ minutes of your kid SCREAMING is not appropriate. Especially when you're doing nothing, and the owner has kindly suggested it. 

I was so embarrassed. Was I wrong to suggest leaving?

[shostakovich]

I would've been embarrassed too, if the mom was doing nothing to try and fix the situation.  I get that kids are kids, and they make noise, no problem.  But at some point, your friend has to realize that other people live in the world, and those people don't always like two year-old shrieks accompanying their lunch.

To clarify - did you suggest that all of you leave, or that just your friend and her kid leave?  Because I could see how she would be defensive (whether it's justified or not) if it were the latter.

[tulip]

Nope, we have left all kinds of places when a meltdown is about to happen or is happening. I can't imagine just staying and not leaving while my kid is disrupting an entire business.

[mrssandro]

That mother should have taken that kid away from the situation and gave him a 2 min cool off session. Then returned to the table. I had to take DD outside a million times at that age. I would have been embarrassed.

[mandy0810]

Your friend was really rude. Who the hell in their right mind would let a kid scream for 30+ minutes in a public place!? Does she think the world revolves her and her kid? Is she like this all the time or was this the first time something like this has happened?

[pixelpassion]

I probably would have died. Holy balls, 30 minutes? A 5 minute cool down in the car (assuming you guys drove there) or outside might have deescalated that a little easier.

[ginap]

Dude, no. I take C outside if she starts to get even a little unruly. Throwing a full on tantrum, no, we would not have stayed in the restaurant. At the very least we would have gone outside until she calmed down, and if that didn't happen we'd go home. How uncomfortable for you and your other friend.

[TrickyBob]

I'd be embarrassed as well. I don't mind kids crying/screaming somewhere as long as the parent is trying to do something OR the kid doesn't keep it up for very long.

30 minutes? I'd yell at the little kid to stfu and then I'd glare at the friend.


jk. Maybe.

But really 30 minutes was 25 minutes too long. She could have at least tried to clam him down or take him outside or something.

[Alyssa]

We had to ditch my mom on her birthday when my son decided to throw a huge shit fit at a nice restaurant.  We were packed up and leaving by the time the iced teas arrived.  I felt horrible to leave her there with a cake sitting on the table.  I sat ther as she quickly opened her present as my husband was standing outside with the kids.  It was a horrible experience but I refuse to sit there while my child screams.

[Deleted]

You were right. Why would she even want to stay? When my kid is melting down, I want to be GONE. Like, I wish I had a button I could push to disappear through the floor immediately.

[Jermys]

Good lord, I would have been out of there myself. We go out all the time and it's helped to make our kids not assholes in public. I mean, yeah, they all go through an asshole phase and we limit our restaurant choices to kid friendly places during that time, but we also don't allow even a five minute tantrum. Tantrums are instant trips outside for some calm down time.

It's weird that she didn't hold him or remove him from the area. Who does that??

[bonquiqui]

I would have left, because I would have been so mortified.  lol

[AHappierHour]

As soon as I can tell my kids are going to act up I leave. They have one chance to act right.

[DotAndBuzz]

And now that kid knows he can get away with that kind of behavior in public, so.....yay!

I've left places that I've really wanted to be. It sucks, because the times that come to mind are when I really really REALLY needed to be out of the house for a break from the routine. Leaving actually made the fit worse, because then they're super pist that we're not doing something fun. But tough cookies. You don't get to behave like that in public. Sometimes parenting sucks for both the parent and child, but that's how it goes (or is supposed to).

[game blouses]

DS doesn't throw tantrums in restaurants, but he gets grabby when he's finished eating and he's bored. Last time he broke a plate. I was so embarrassed, and then we GTFO (after paying of course). I can't imagine letting him go for a half hour, especially if I was out with other people!

[MWOS]

Sept 10, 2013 17:58:51 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

We go out to eat a lot and fortunately have never had to leave a restaurant due to Noah having a fit. I can only imagine how frustrating that’s got to be.

I think I would’ve asked her to leave if I were the owner/manager.

Ugh, she seems like the kind that would leave him with bad press when that shit hits twitter and facebook

[goaskalice]

Sept 10, 2013 18:00:07 GMT -5 bonquiqui said:

I would have left, because I would have been so mortified.  lol

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. I'd be pissed!

[snorky]

I've never considered what I would say to a friend whose kid is throwing a fit in a restaurant because it is always mine who acts up. DD has three chances and then we leave- she is warned the first time, taken outside to calm down the second time, and if she is still not behaving after that, then she's done and we leave.

Your friend was totally rude and should have left. I totally get not wanting to do so, but it's inconsiderate to other diners to keep the screaming kid there. If she didn't get the hint from the owner, she most likely would have also ignored anything you would have said, so really, I don't think that there's much that you could have done.

Edit- I'm a moron, I didn't see that you did say that she should leave. Obviously, I agree with you, your friend is completely in the wrong here.

[vamoose]

WTF? I would have left my friends and the screaming kid. I have a crazy two year old boy. I get it. Sometimes he won't sit still and he melts down and we have to change our plans and it is annoying, but how rude to stay.

[Deleted]

I absolutely would have ordred my food to go, waited out side for it, and then left with DS when he was at that age and stage. No way would I have stayed. I don't want to be the person with the screaming kid that's making everyone else crazy, and I don't want to be dealing with that where I can't just put him down and let him scream while I walk away from it for a couple of minutes.

[RoxMonster]

You were not in the wrong. As a non-parent, I totally understand that kids will make noise, cry, get cranky, etc. And I am totally sympathetic when in a restaurant and the parent(s) is obviously trying to calm them down, or if that doesn't work, they get up and leave with the baby momentarily. But if they just sit there and do nothing? (This happened two weeks ago at Old Chicago). Then that's unacceptable. You should at least be trying to calm them down. I feel like an asshole saying they should leave if nothing works, me not being a parent and all, but for real. I think if nothing works and it's been 30 min., it's not their night to be out in public.

[Some Funny Name]

No. Not okay. Your friend was a selfish asshole and I would not go out with them again. I was in Target the other day, and a little girl was throwing a full-on, down on the floor, screaming, hissy fit in the middle of a main aisle. You could hear that demon spawn throughout the entire store. It went on forfuckingever. Mom just stood there, looking helpless and, I guess, waiting for her to cry it out. Fuck that. Let them cry it out at home when they're only annoying you, NOT in public, at the expense of everyone else. I got so irritated listening to it that I just ditched my cart and left. Really, fuck that noise.

[adamantium]

You were not wrong. She should have left AFTER trying something to engage him. That age is hard or was for us. We stopped going out to eat for about 6 months when DS was 2, it was too stressful. It really bothers me when people act like they are at home and just ignore the behavior.

[Kristinmo]

A post about judging parents where everyone agrees with the OP. I never thought I'd see the day!

[snickers]

Oh man, that would be very annoying.

[Deleted]

Sept 10, 2013 18:41:07 GMT -5 Kristinmo said:

A post about judging parents where everyone agrees with the OP. I never thought I'd see the day!

LOL. I thought for sure that people may have said I was rude for suggesting we leave.

Also, to clarify for whomever asked. First I suggested SHE take her kid outside to chill out until the food came (we were RIGHT in front of the window, so easy to do).

Then I suggested WE ALL leave. So i wasnt like telling HER to go, but honestly, that is what I would have done.

Also, I am still mortified thinking about it and am scared to go back to the restaurant, and I eat there a lot. Dammit.

[angelaa73]

your friend is a clueless ahole dbag

she just doesnt give a shit about anyone else (including her kid!)

[eddy]

I physically could not have listened to my kid scream that long. Like it is getting my blood boiling just thinking about it. Why in the hell would she even want to sit through that.

[eb777888]

Sept 10, 2013 21:12:25 GMT -5 eddy said:

I physically could not have listened to my kid scream that long. Like it is getting my blood boiling just thinking about it. Why in the hell would she even want to sit through that.

Yes. Add the evil stares and the uncomfortable waiter and pissed off patrons. I'd be OUT of there. She is an asshole. 

[eddy]

Sept 10, 2013 21:13:36 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Sept 10, 2013 21:12:25 GMT -5 eddy said:

I physically could not have listened to my kid scream that long. Like it is getting my blood boiling just thinking about it. Why in the hell would she even want to sit through that.

Yes. Add the evil stares and the uncomfortable waiter and pissed off patrons. I'd be OUT of there. She is an asshole. 

Right, I am having anxiety sweats just thinking about it.