Moms: a dentist question (and flameful too)!

[Deleted]

DS is 4 and having his first dentist appt Thursday (flameful, but whatever. We brush twice every day and floss too so...). H thinks that he should not go in with him because that's what he's read and the dentists website suggests it. I'm not sure about that. DS has never been afraid to go to the dr and even though I'm with him he answers all of the questions the dr asks without help from me for the most part. He's totally fine getting his haircut (sits by himself in the chair while I watch from the front etc...). Anyway, it never really occurred to me to not be present while he is at the doctor/dentist whatever. What say you?  

[karmasabiotch]

I go in. The Dentist is my DS Godfather and H's BFF though. I like hearing what they tell him so I can repeat it at home.

[mandymay]

My daughter was 2.5 when she went to her first dentist appointment and I was there with her (although not holding her or even right next to her chair). The dentist preferred it that way. I'm not sure about older children, but I'd still want to be there (out of the way though) for the first appointment.

[DotAndBuzz]

Let them take the lead.

Is it a pediatric dentist? If it is, I'd definitely think about leaving if he seems good to go. Do NOT mention anything like "there's nothing to be afraid of," or "don't be scared, Mommy's right outside." Don't mention anything alluding to fear. Right now, he doesn't know that there's something he should potentially fear, so don't present him with that idea.

I think a lot of times kids are more compliant when you're not there. N freaks out if I stand there. If I leave and go around the corner (to help w/ her sister who is not so compliant), she's good, and does what they ask. If he's cool at the doctor and getting his hair cut, he'll probably be fine, especially if this is a pediatric place. They have all sorts of tricks up their sleeves, and will probably be able to handle most anything that comes up. If there's a problem, I'm sure they'll come get you.

[Mrs. ChanandlerBong]

I have always sat in on their appointments. They both started at age 3.

[Deleted]

Oh, I should have mentioned that it is a pediatric dentist. H is going with him and we definitely don't talk about not being scared etc... We're acting like it's NBD.

[adamantium]

I've always sat in the room. It's not a typical doctor's office, the chair with the light can look a bit scary. Plus, the dentist will ask a few questions and its good to be there to clarify or interpret.

[ECB]

I've always gone (2 of the 3 times he's been), but my parents took him once and he jumped up from his seat in the waiting room and went happily back w/ the hygenist and was totally fine by himself. I laughed when I heard this- but happy too. It shows me that he's comfortable - even if when *I* take him, he "needs" me.

[Deleted]

Many kids do significantly better without their parent in the room, but for a first visit there's nothing wrong with wanting to go back with him. Four is an extremely common age for first visits, and the assistant and doctor will probably want to talk to you about his brushing, flossing, and eating habits, since he's too young to tell them himself. If he needed any sort of treatment, that is when you might want to consider (or the doctor might recommend) having him go back by himself.

[Deleted]

Sept 10, 2013 18:58:01 GMT -5 @evelynrichards said:

Sept 10, 2013 18:54:43 GMT -5 @booby said:

what??  ok mommy knows best!


i like dot's advice the best.  G's paed dentist doesn't allow parents from 4 years and up, except for special circumstances (like hovering parents, perhaps).  it makes the appointments go faster with less distraction and kids are better behaved, generally.

Whatever. Flame away.

You have no idea how much easier it is 99% of the time on the dentist, assistant, AND patient when the parent isn't in the room.

[Jermys]

I got my teeth cleaned before Edith sat in the chair for the first time. Once she saw me do it, she had no problem sitting down and letting the dentist count her teeth. I go with her, but our dentist doesn't care either way.

[DotAndBuzz]

Sept 10, 2013 19:05:57 GMT -5 frkls said:

i don't know exactly why i feel compelled to repeat this, but i refuse to sign the paper giving them permission to physically restrain him. don't skim that paper and don't feel like you HAVE to sign it.

Agreed.  I've never even been offered that form, and there's no way I'd sign something like that. 

[Deleted]

I would not feel comfortable leaving my 4 year old alone with the dentist. Newp.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

I tried taking Kristen in to a regular dentist, going in the room with her, and she had a screaming asthma attack and wouldn't even let them LOOK. They kicked her out of the practice and made me take her to the pediatric dentist (the only one, who is an hour away from our house).
I took her, where parents are NOT allowed to go with them (they do let you go in for baby's first cleanings), and she freaking loves it and lets them do whatever they want to her.  There is a group room back there, and each kid has an assigned hygienist that is theirs to stay with while they are back there, and it's bright and fun and they love it.

[DotAndBuzz]

I guess all the times she's gone, it has been like frkls described. A big room with multiple chairs and many people around. So it isn't like she's completely alone, by herself, with just the dentist and/or hygenist. There's tons of stuff on the ceiling to look at, they talk to the kids, let them check out everything before they use it, etc. It is way less stressful of an environment than any pediatrician I've been to.

[catwithspots]

I went in to the appt, but the hygienist made it clear that I was simply to be in the background! She talked directly to DD, lead her first down the hallway, and gave DD a tour. I tagged along behind them, LOL ! It liked that they did this, because it gave DD the confidence and calmed her nerves.

When we reached the exam area, she pointed to a plush lime green chair in the corner and said in chirpy voice, "that's mommy's chair and this is your chair" and pointed to a turquise dentist chair. Then she showed DD a tray of brightly colored/glitter sunglasses and told her to pick out a pair to wear while she her cleaned teeth.

The hygenist and dentist talked with me at the end of the cleaning. Again, I loved that they were so focused on DD.

[Redpoppy]

I watched DS from afar the first time at 3. He goes by himself now. He goes first and then while I get a cleaning he plays with the receptionist (maybe flameful but she offers). It is a small practice.

[vanillacourage]

DS stays with me. He was nervous the first time he went but we took a toy that had teeth (which was surprisingly hard to find in our toy box - finally found Rex from Toy Story) and the hygienist "cleaned" Rex's teeth first. 

[jena]

I wouldn't go to a dentist who didn't let me go back. I had a very bad experience with the dentist when I was 8 and my kids will not be alone. It was an open area, but there was no one else there at the time. (The guy was just a jackass, not doing anything inappropriate or anything. But we left mid-filling after I bit him and drew blood rather than choke on the lump of metal he dropped down my throat.)

At my kids' first visit, I sat there pretty much in silence except to say "oooh, cool!" at appropriate moments. They did fine, but she's also an awesome pedi dentist.

[Deleted]

I remember crying on the way back to the dentist and him telling me to shut up. All you breezy bums can suck it.

[stephm0188]

I go back. It's encouraged at his office. It's never been an issue. I wouldn't be comfortable not being allowed to be present, but I've probably watched too much Dateline.