Remember my post about younger men?

[stephbfan]

I met the 23 y/o yesterday and it was the shortest date ever.

I went to see my sister playing her first tennis tournament (she lost by the way) and he goes to the same college my sister does. He works, so we met like 20min before my sister's game.

Contrary to what I thought, I actually liked him more in person. I think he is freaking smart, and works a lot to pay for his college education and he is finishing next year.

We are meeting again tomorrow for coffee and will go to a classical music concert once DD is at her dad's. So we do have a lot more in common than I thought.

Now my issue is that given his age, I know there is no long term potential but I would be totally up for a FWB relationship. I just don't want to hang out with him that much that I have the chance to develop any feelings for the guy but at the same time I do want a friend who has similar interests.

I used to hang out with my brother a lot because we have similar tastes in music, books and movies but he moved overseas so I dont have anyone to talk about that stuff.

[Deleted]

I realize I'm on an anti-FWB tirade these days, but honestly having participated in a few, I proceed with much more caution.

This guy doesn't sound like a good FWB candidate. The only negative about him is that he is too young, but you like everything else so far. That will definitely probably lead down the road to feelings. I'd move him into the Friend, mins benefits category.

Just because someone doesn't have long term potential that does not mean they are FWB material.

[stephbfan]

Jun 21, 2012 11:56:48 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Just because someone doesn't have long term potential that does not mean they are FWB material.

This is true!

[doriswe]

Age is the only issue? Is there a chance he is more mature than a normal 23 year old?

I guess I'd have fun with it and see what happens!

[roselis]

Jun 21, 2012 12:13:50 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Age is the only issue? Is there a chance he is more mature than a normal 23 year old?

I guess I'd have fun with it and see what happens!

I am with Doriswe on this one

[Bernadine]

I agree with pdx. But I'm still not sure why his age would rule him out as ltr material, if you like everything else about him.

[stephbfan]

Jun 21, 2012 12:13:50 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Age is the only issue? Is there a chance he is more mature than a normal 23 year old?

I guess I'd have fun with it and see what happens!

Yeah, he is definitely more mature than a normal 23y/o. He has dated "older" women before and says he actually prefers it that way. He says that on an intellectual level he connects more with someone older, that's what he thinks but I'm sure there are plenty of younger smart women.

In my mind it does rule him out as LTR. I think that at that age he has to "live" and experiment more while I'm at a stage where I feel I'm ready to settle down. I know my self and I do think that his age bothers me and keep thinking that I wish he was at least 3 years older.

[starburst604]

How big is the age difference?

[stephbfan]

Jun 21, 2012 12:39:59 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

How big is the age difference?

He is 23 and I'm 29.

[starburst604]

Jun 21, 2012 14:00:42 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

Jun 21, 2012 12:39:59 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

How big is the age difference?

He is 23 and I'm 29.

Funny, that's just the ages my coworker and her now-fiance. When they first got together she thought the same as you, but he proved to be very mature and they got engaged 2 years or so later.

Edited to add it's actually a 7 yr age difference with my coworker!

[wrathofkuus]

Why not give it a try? Statistically speaking, men die younger than women anyway. This combo will just decrease the likelihood of you spending a long time as a widow.

[gozf]

This isn't a shocking age gap. I wouldn't rule him out as a LTR just because of his age. Give it a whirl and see where it goes!

[Deleted]

Oh I didn't realize it was that small of a gap! I say try to actually date him. I still say no to FWB, but dating sounds good!

[letyourselfgo]

I'd also suggest trying to date him.
My parents met when my Dad was 22, and Mom was 33. They married not long afterward and the age difference wasn't an issue.