~Missus!~

[pilife]

Jun 21, 2012 12:52:19 GMT -5 MissusTexas said:

Cell. We haven't had a landline since we've been together, except for when DH was on house arrest and it was necessary for a month.

It's story time!

[alabasterangel]

*sits on the floor indian style*

[darkling_glory]

*passes out popcorn and twizzlers*

[MissusTexas]

It happened once upon a November. I was out of town and DH (then boyfriend, we'd been dating for about 9 months) got arrested for drinking and driving. Before I left we made some pumpkin pies, which DH hadn't had before, and after his first piece he said (sober) that it would be really good with some peaches in it

I drove to Austin on Friday to spend the night with my dad and of course I forgot my charger so my phone died during the night. Dad and I hopped in the truck for a 4 hour drive to South Texas and I plug my phone into his charger to find two text messages:

Text #1: I'm about to put peaches in a pumpkin pie

Text #2: I'm going to jail.

The first text he sent while sitting the first of two lights to get to the grocery store, the second he sent before the cop asked him to step out of the car. The cop passed DH as he was looking down to text me, thought DH was asleep, so pulled him over. The sobriety tests that followed were so bad that he had his lawyer keep them because he didn't want anyone else (even me) to see. The mugshot is pretty bad, though... I can look that up online anytime.

Apparently, DH celebrated me leaving town with a bottle of everclear and then thought it was a great idea to down the bottle, decide to make a pumpkin pie with peaches, preheat the oven, and hop in the car to go get peaches. Fucking moron. I was so pissed and I am glad my phone was off because I would not have bailed his ass out of jail.

As the cop handcuffed him DH said, "uh, you might want to have someone stop by my apartment and turn the oven off." So they did.

I found all this out while stuck in a truck with my dad, so I had to tell him and he thought it was funny.

Anyway, he ended up having to pay a shitton of money and be on house arrest for one or two months.

[alabasterangel]

I can't believe anyone likes the taste of peaches.

[pilife]

Oh my! Peaches with pumpkin pie? And you stayed with him!?

[MissusTexas]

Jun 21, 2012 13:08:39 GMT -5 pilife said:

Oh my! Peaches with pumpkin pie? And you stayed with him!?

He really is special. I warned him not to do anything that moronic ever again, and he kept his word! Peaches and pumpkin pie is a good joke in the fall now, though.

[conradtn]

I can't imagine peaches in a pumpkin pie

[OrangePixyStix]

Whoa, what a story. Can't leave them alone for even a night without something going wrong, silly men! House arrest seems harsh for a first-time offense but it's definitely better than jail!

[MissusTexas]

Jun 21, 2012 13:18:19 GMT -5 OrangePixyStix said:

Whoa, what a story. Can't leave them alone for even a night without something going wrong, silly men! House arrest seems harsh for a first-time offense but it's definitely better than jail!

I thought so, too, but it really was only his first offense. I think it's good they are so harsh on first offenses of this nature. DWIs are no joke.

[louietunes]

Good story! Men are "special" sometimes.

I love that everyone is more concerned about putting peaches in a pumpkin pie than the charges.

Neither D or I ever got a DUI. I've never been arrested at all, and all of D's arrests (yes, all) involved Mary.

[ILikeSloths]

Oh, man... That sucks, but I'm glad he wasn't hurt or anything. I would've been pissed also.

I can't get over the pumpkin pie with peaches either. Odd combination, lol.

[shorty20]

I love a good peach, but yeah, I don't get the connection with the pumpkin pie.

I think he should be our mugshot of the day tomorrow

[MissusTexas]

Jun 21, 2012 14:17:15 GMT -5 shorty20 said:

I love a good peach, but yeah, I don't get the connection with the pumpkin pie.

I think he should be our mugshot of the day tomorrow

HAHA! He'd kill me. He doesn't have to know... I'll put it up, but it'll be time sensitive.