Would you consider this as a red flag?...

heavenly
Junior Member

Posts: 679

Would you consider this as a red flag?... Jun 21, 2012 13:09:41 GMT -5

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Post by heavenly on Jun 21, 2012 13:09:41 GMT -5

I've been reading a lot of comments/threads here and there about how someone is "testing the waters", "testing how far one will go" when it comes to seeing how far one will go for sex or how one will react to a certain news and the like.

For some reasons, I can't help but to think if someone had to do that, they either got a game/intention that they are trying to pull off or see if you are willing to overlook some things that would not necessarily be taken well. I often see it as a level of disrespect otherwise they would just come out and say it or be genuinely concern for my feelings.

I tend to take these words/actions as a red flag. I am just wondering if I am being overly paranoid or a prude thinking this. I just want to be treated like how I would treat others and that even means treating myself how I would want to be treated by not letting others disrespect me.

I am not sure if I am making any sense or not? Thoughts?

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Bernadine Elder Posts: 14,178 Likes: 19,441	Would you consider this as a red flag?... Jun 21, 2012 13:21:39 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Bernadine on Jun 21, 2012 13:21:39 GMT -5 I think I need a specific example, too. I think testing the waters is normal, to an extent, in trying to figure out another person. What's acceptable/what isn't.
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explorer2001
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Would you consider this as a red flag?... Jun 21, 2012 13:24:49 GMT -5

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Post by explorer2001 on Jun 21, 2012 13:24:49 GMT -5

Yeah this really depends. Testing waters how? For what?

Guy that's interested brushing against your arm to see how you react to.contact, like do you withdraw or seem pleased, totally normal.

Tickle fight with new guy pinning you to the floor, suspect.

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heavenly
Junior Member

Posts: 679

Would you consider this as a red flag?... Jun 21, 2012 14:00:41 GMT -5

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Post by heavenly on Jun 21, 2012 14:00:41 GMT -5

Jun 21, 2012 13:24:49 GMT -5 explorer2001 said:

Yeah this really depends. Testing waters how? For what?

Guy that's interested brushing against your arm to see how you react to.contact, like do you withdraw or seem pleased, totally normal.

Tickle fight with new guy pinning you to the floor, suspect.

You are clarifying more what I was thinking. I was thinking along the line of a close friends dating your ex but making excuses about why she is spending time with him. It would make me think she knows this will "hurt" me. (just an example and not real life for me)

Real example ( guy using innuendos in conversation, behaving inappropriately and asking to do the deed that night in front of friends on first date of meeting him). He was clearly testing me but I found it really disrespectful and creepy rather than it being a guy who was sincerely trying to flirt.

I guess now that I think about it, sometimes Iget a bad feeling and notice that the person is testing me. When I don't, I probably don't realize that is what is happening. I guess I am trying to be fun and loosen up while at the same time not be naive and taken advantage of.

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bowies Elder Posts: 23,624 Likes: 56,282	Would you consider this as a red flag?... Jun 21, 2012 14:35:04 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bowies on Jun 21, 2012 14:35:04 GMT -5 A guy asked if you two were having sex that night in front of his friends? Ewwww. Creepy.
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