FIL Vent

[justduckydancer]

I'll need to give some backstory first. So most of you don't know, but my DH is a professional gospel singer. About a year and a half agothe baritone singer was fired because he was having an affair. DH's dad also sings so they asked him to fill in while they looked for a new one. Well a little bit in he decides he wants the job so they agree to audition him too. They end up with someone else. FIL is pissed and feels "led on". A bit down the road DH is talking to SIL and she makes a comment about how she can't believe the group treated their dad that way. FIL has been running his mouth and caused a short rift between SIL and DH. They work it out and are back to being as close as ever.

About 6 months go by and the group's tour bus goes into the shop. They're driving a nice RV someone let them borrow but have nothing to take product or sound equipment in. FIL says they can borrow his trailor for a little bit to pull behind. While they're out one week a huge gust of wind catches it and jerks the trailor a bit scratching up the front a bit, but also causes one of the back tired to blow which rips off the back bumper. They're going to fix it no problem. Well, there had been some damage to the roof that FIL had caused beforehand as well as some damage to the hookup he had caused. He decides to take it upon himself to call the owner of the group's insurance company and claims ALL of the damage was caused by them because he doesn't want to pay to fix the other stuff. Insurance calls the owner to verify everything and he tells him they only caused the bumper and front damage. Insurance denies the claim because of the extra stuff. They see it as fraud. DH offers to go get the parts and fix it himself since he used to work on cars. That's not good enough for FIL.

This has been a back and forth for a year now. About 6 months ago he told both my H and their manager he was threatening to sue. H points out it would be fixed by now if he hadn't called the insurance company and claimed stuff they didn't damage. H and FIL don't talk for about a month. They somewhat patch things up. H offers to fix the trailer with parts the owner pays for and doesn't hear anything. Well, today his dad has once AGAIN threatened to sue. H has had it with his dad. We're both positive that he's bitter he didn't get the job with the group even though he's now singing with a different one. There's other examples to support that but this is long enough.

[ECB]

Is this your DH's job/career? 

I think if I were your DH, I'd tell FIL basically "It's them or me" - meaning, "What you're doing is illegal.  I can't support this.  Plus, this is my job (or serious hobby that he loves??).  Your actions may end up affecting me w/ the company.  Back off.  If you don't, then I can't have anything to do w/ you.".

[justduckydancer]

Yes, this is DH's job. It's a good thing the owner understands and is like family. I have a feeling it'll be awhile before he talks to FIL again. What I don't get is how he possibly thinks he has a chance in hell to win a suit when the insurance has already denied the claim and it's his fault they did.

[ECB]

Sept 12, 2013 17:36:04 GMT -5 justduckydancer said:

Yes, this is DH's job. It's a good thing the owner understands and is like family. I have a feeling it'll be awhile before he talks to FIL again. What I don't get is how he possibly thinks he has a chance in hell to win a suit when the insurance has already denied the claim and it's his fault they did.

But FIL doesn't have to "know" that- KWIM?  I realize he probably knows that the owner is like family, but I'd fib about it and be like "This is beginning to affect me in my job.  Back off.  If you don't, then you are picking this petty (invalid) arguement over me.".

[justduckydancer]

Good point ECB.

[captainmel]

I would probably just punch him in the face.

[partiallysunny]

I know it's your husband's choice, but I agree with EBC. He needs to take a stand. That situation is ridiculous.

It makes me irrationally angry when full ass adults act like immature, whiney children.

[Deleted]

Sept 12, 2013 17:31:25 GMT -5 ECB said:

Is this your DH's job/career? 

I think if I were your DH, I'd tell FIL basically "It's them or me" - meaning, "What you're doing is illegal.  I can't support this.  Plus, this is my job (or serious hobby that he loves??).  Your actions may end up affecting me w/ the company.  Back off.  If you don't, then I can't have anything to do w/ you.".

I'm w/ ECB.

[tiramisu]

I also think ECB 's given great advice. Good luck to YH with this situation.

[starrieskies]

ECB is wise! This must be so frustrating for you to have to sit back and watch.