Added to a FB group to tell me I'm not invited to a wedding

[IndiaInk]

So a childhood friend is getting married this fall.  I ran into her at her sister's wedding last month and she said they were planning a very small, family-only wedding.  Okay, so I don't expect to be invited, which is just fine. 

Then last night I got invited to her secret FB group, called "John and Susie 2013".   This is what it says:

So as many of you know, we are gettin hitched! We are super stoked for this new season and wanted to include you all in the news It was really on our hearts to do a small and intimate wedding, this October, with our immediate families and a small bunch that we are living daily life with.

The down side is there are so many people we love that have played key roles in our lives over the years, that it has been a very tough decision to keep it small. So it was very important to us that we let as many of you know as possible about this new chapter of our lives. Because our guest list is so small, we wanted to send a general announcement out to whoever of you would like to receive one and would greatly treasure your prayers and thoughts towards us on our day.

We love and value each one of you and know that the future holds some pretty dang exciting stuff for all of us! This is only the beginning! Thank you for your support and understanding, and don't hesitate to private message either of us your address and we'll pop a little note in the mail for ya. You will all be with us in spirit!


So, I guess I just added to a secret group to inform me I'm not invited to the wedding.  What the ever-loving heck?!

[CurlyQ284]

Sounds like they should have just sent announcements after the fact.

[Deleted]

Eh, it's kind of weird but I get what they are doing. They want people to know but they really want a small wedding. I would just write back "good luck!" and leave it at that.

[noodleoo]

Wait, so you have to ask to get a wedding announcement? What a weird thing to do. This is life these days, where people can't even pause to compile a list of who they want to send announcements to, so they just post it on FB and say: if you want one, YOU do the work and email me your address.

[tulip]

I think they want gifts. LOL

Okay, they may not but this seems tacky to me.

[bigang]

$20 says that there will be a follow-up post to let you know where they registered. You know, in case you felt like your prayers and thoughts just weren't enough to help them celebrate.

[housewife]

Did they also post registry information? Ya know, just in case you wanted to pop a little something in the mail for them.

If not, then I think the intent was good.

[IndiaInk]

The best part is some people, clearly lacking reading comprehension, are responding on the wall with, "Wohoo! I can't wait to be there!". And one savvy person posted, "So wait... Is this a secret group to tell me I'm not invited?", to which a lot of people are basically saying, "yeah wtf?!" I feel like it's making the whole thing even more awkward than it ever had to be!

[sewpinkgal]

Team They Want A Gift

[coribelle26]

Could they be LESS clear of their intent in the wording? It reads like Michael Scott trying to fire someone.

[elleblue]

Sept 16, 2013 12:23:26 GMT -5 IndiaInk said:

The best part is some people, clearly lacking reading comprehension, are responding on the wall with, "Wohoo! I can't wait to be there!". And one savvy person posted, "So wait... Is this a secret group to tell me I'm not invited?", to which a lot of people are basically saying, "yeah wtf?!" I feel like it's making the whole thing even more awkward than it ever had to be!

Ha!

[Alyssa]

Sorry, but I also laughed out loud when I read that. I get where they're coming from....but it's a little odd to be grouped into a secret 'you're not invited' group.

My cousin actually 'Liked' her own online wedding registry website on FB. It was an obvious message of 'here's where I'm registered if you're wondering.' to EVERYONE on her friends list. I wasn't invited to that wedding, nor did I send her a gift.

[IndiaInk]

Sept 16, 2013 12:26:26 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

are you the one savvy person or are you just sitting back and laughing?

I totally wanted to say it, but refrained.  I'm just mean enough to make fun of them on the internet.  

I actually like this person, and I don't think they're intending to fish for gifts.  She's just young and apparently a bit clueless about how her FB group would appear.  

[bania]

The delivery is awkward but heartfelt. I think it's a nice gesture.

[lulu13]

For some reason the "pretty dang exciting" part is making me LOL. Like I'd respond with "Have a rootin'-tootin' great time on your big day!!""

[wannabe]

i'd be shocked if you didn't get invited to the bridal shower :/

[bania]

Sept 16, 2013 12:31:38 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'd assume it was a gift grab, honestly. lol.

Ooh good point. As I was reading it, I was expecting it to go this way too but it never did.

[Deleted]

Its all about getting a gift. "hey you. Can't invite you, but want you to know we are getting married! But we wanted to invite.. We spent many sleepless nights over it. But feel free to pray for us and send a gift."

Give me a break. They could have announced it after. this is dumb

[bab]

Gauche. Ridiculous.
I am legit embarrassed for this bride. OMG

[bab]

And she is obviously looking for gifts. Ew.

[Miss Phryne Fisher]

Sounds gift grabby to me.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2013 12:32:14 GMT -5 wannabe said:

i'd be shocked if you didn't get invited to the bridal shower :/

I was wondering if this was where it was headed.

"You aren't invited to the wedding but hey!  Come to my shower to help me celebrate!  I'm registered at these 5 places."

[IndiaInk]

Oh, I'm SURE I'll be invited to the shower. I know their whole family really well.

[IndiaInk]

Should I reply to the group wall with this?

"Hey Susie, that's why they make these things, so you can announce your marriage in non-awkwardly after the fact!" 

[flufferkitty]

Sept 16, 2013 12:19:42 GMT -5 tulip said:

I think they want gifts. LOL

Okay, they may not but this seems tacky to me.

This is what I was thinking as well.

[game blouses]

My friend did something similar to address those of us whom she hadn't chosen to be bridesmaids. It was odd.

[ohiowan]

Is she one of those Generation Y unicorn yuppies?

[sparkythelawyer]

At least they didn't put up a link to their registries!

I think this is one of those "Hearts in the right place, head is up the colon" moments.

[psychmom]

At least she didn't do a massive group message and your inbox isn't blown up with a million different strangers addresses.

[Alyssa]

I don't know why they have to address all the people who aren't going to get an invite. If you're not invited, you're not invited. Why would people take that personally? Just because you know someone, doesn't mean you're going to be invited to their wedding. Some people have small intimate weddings, it's nothing new.