Steps to take to prepare?

[blueeyes]

I was a longtime lurker on TN in regards to SO. I was a regular poster on another board. I had done an intro on SO and posted a few times. Basically I was biding my time to see how things were going to pan out.

I am done biding my time and I am ready to start the process to getting a divorce. The shortened version is I got married young, while pregnant, to a guy I had serious doubts about while I had feelings for someone else. I have been thinking about leaving since July 2010. My husband has serious temper, he refuses counseling, and our relationship is emotionally abusive. I am not innocent in all of this I also have a temper and I am sure I say hurtful things to him. He claims to be happy, I think that's a bunch of bullshit. I am not happy, have not been happy, and can't stay with him for the sake of the kids anymore.


So what advice can you give me? What steps should I take? What should I have in place before I leave? How do I go about this?

I really want to do this systematically and efficiently. I need to have a plan and put it into action. If I don't do it this way I will be manipulated into staying. I know things are just going to continue the way it has been for 6 yrs. Time to move on.

[roselis]

Are you seeing a counselor? I might want to start there. My counselor was a great resource while I was going through mine.

Make sure you have copies of all the important documents: property, financial, insurance, etc.

Find a good lawyer. Friends reccommendations are great. That is how I found mine.

The more you can get worked out outside of lawyers and the courtroom, the better. XH and I came to most of our agreements without lawyer help and I sent it all to my lawyer to review and make sure it looked good. Of course, this only works if your STBXH is willing to work with you on it. By the end, my XH and I both wanted out, so we were able to work together.