Use of the word "girl" at work

[Deleted]

I take it to mean that I look soooo young they can't imagine me in the 'woman' category. Truth be told as long as they aren't being disrespectful in any other way it doesn't bother me too much. Honey and Sweetheart on the other hand are likely to get someone punched.

P.S. I do have several men in their mid-twenties that work for me. I often refer to them collectively as "my boys". I don't intend it to be disrespectful in anyway.

[drloretta]

It doesn't bother me at all

[yentl]

It doesn't bother me, but I usually say "ladies" at work, so I see your point for sure.

[Deleted]

Sept 24, 2013 15:07:40 GMT -5 @kjewell said:

I take it to mean that I look soooo young they can't imagine me in the 'woman' category. Truth be told as long as they aren't being disrespectful in any other way it doesn't bother me too much. Honey and Sweetheart on the other hand are likely to get someone punched.

P.S. I do have several men in their mid-twenties that work for me. I often refer to them collectively as "my boys". I don't intend it to be disrespectful in anyway.

The maintenance guys at work call me "darlin'." My new coworker just moved from Michigan and was befuddled. I just chalk it up to being in the rural South.

[LoveTrains]

Sept 24, 2013 13:44:10 GMT -5 rosiedozie said:

I dislike it also. We're not children, mmkay - address me like an adult.

I agree with this. I think it's demeaning.

I hate to make this comparison, but we all agree its offensive to call an AA man "boy". It makes it so that person isn't equal to you.

[cowboyjoe]

It doesn't really bother me, but most of our upper management is nearing forced retirement. My male coworkers are often referred to as boys and I am often called kiddo. They don't mean it as an insult, there is just a large age gap in our company and I happen to be the age of most of their grandchildren.

[Deleted]

To me it depends on context.

If it comes from a superior, I'd maybe take it as being diminutive and wouldn't be thrilled with it (that said, I can't think of a superior who would use it -- they're pretty careful). But I think it *can* be used in a non-offensive way. It is a fine line. At any rate, maybe I'm too flattered by comments that imply that I look young, but I can't get too upset about it.

Coming from a peer or someone lower on the totem pole, I'm fine with it. I'm not one to use the word "girls" in this context, but I would certainly send out an email to a bunch of associates or whatever that started with "Hey guys" so as to not be overly formal.

But there are certain contexts that I find downright offensive -- like, as LoveTrains said, calling a black man "boy." I think where I see it here the most is when people call people who provide services to them (their hair stylist, pedicurist housekeeper, etc.) their "girl" (as in, "my girl charges $50 but gives a great scalp massage").  That seems demeaning and maybe possessive and I don't like it at all.

[KaraOrNot]

This doesn't bother me, but I understand why it bothers others.

[Deleted]

Actually, I say boys sometimes too. I am trying to stop saying either.

[belovedbride07]

I know it bothers other people so I avoid using it, but I personally see it as the female equivalent to "guys."

[anna7602]

Is it different out of the workplace? Girls doesn't bother me at all. We often refer to "girls' night out" and I respond to "you girls doing x, y, z" often when it comes from friends. I also let people call me "mami" a lot around my neighborhood (at restaurants, in stores, etc.), so maybe my view is skewed.

[whitemerlot]

Sept 24, 2013 13:21:29 GMT -5 ddi741 said:

I really don't notice it. I probably say 'you guys" at work but most of my contact with people is IM or Email so it doesn't realy come into play.
Out of work though, I am a 'chick' person. I'll constantly say " you know, that chick with the red hair.. or that chick that was dating Jim a few years ago" It's something I picked up forever ago and it's just stuck.

I don't love girl, but I really hate chick. I would be pissed if someone called me that at work.

[sunnydaze31]

Sept 24, 2013 21:15:54 GMT -5 ribollita said:

Sept 24, 2013 20:17:29 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Is it different out of the workplace? Girls doesn't bother me at all. We often refer to "girls' night out" and I respond to "you girls doing x, y, z" often when it comes from friends. I also let people call me "mami" a lot around my neighborhood (at restaurants, in stores, etc.), so maybe my view is skewed.

yes, it's completely different.

"Girls" still bothers me whether it's in a professional or a casual setting. I'm still a grownup outside of work. I'm not old enough that I want to pretend to be a child again.

I have no problem with "ladies." I often use it as a substitute when "women" seems too stark. It sounds friendlier and can be used in a casual or formal context. I had no idea it irritated so many people. Can someone try to explain what you dislike about it?

[dexteroni]

I dislike it too, and I don't think "gal" is much better. In fact, it might be worse. And "ladies" is tricky because it can easily be (and IMO frequently is) used in a condescending manner.

I try to avoid gender-based terms - I wouldn't ever address a group of men as "gentlemen" or a group of women as "ladies." It's just not me, and I think it would feel weird (for me) to do. Sometimes I will use "you guys" to refer to a coed group, which I guess I should stop doing, but (right or wrong) it has sort of come to indicate you plural, regardless of gender. But I do try to say things like "are all of you going to the meeting?" or "what time is everyone leaving for lunch?" etc.

If it's a familiar group, I might refer to them by another grouping term, like "Hi accountants!" or "Greetings, art department." Or even "What time are you as in you plural *arm motions to indicate whole group* going to the meeting?" But I wouldn't use these in a setting where I had to be properly professional.

There needs to be a professional version of "y'all." lol.

[dexteroni]

Sept 24, 2013 22:04:13 GMT -5 sunnydaze31 said:

I have no problem with "ladies." I often use it as a substitute when "women" seems too stark. It sounds friendlier and can be used in a casual or formal context. I had no idea it irritated so many people. Can someone try to explain what you dislike about it?

When used by someone in power to address a junior group, it often comes across as condescending. When it's used by a peer (by which I mean a younger woman), it reminds me of a 50s Tupperware party. "Ladies, we all want the freshest food for our husbands."

[Chuppathingy]

I don't like it. That said, it seems to be equivalent to the word "guys" in most of the places I've worked. Unless someone is using it in an obviously patronizing way, I wouldn't let it bother me.

Sent from my SGH-T889 using proboards

[h]

Sept 24, 2013 22:17:28 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

Sept 24, 2013 22:10:56 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

There needs to be a professional version of "y'all." lol.

YES

I think y'all is just as professional as calling groups of women girls. But I am sure living in Texas skewed my perspective on that issue. It is definitely used in casual speech around my office, and it is not uncommon for me to get informal work emails addressed to "y'all."

The judge I clerked for after law school announced on our first day of work that he would be using "guys" as a gender neutral term to refer to any combination of us (3 women, 1 man). He feels that guys is the least loaded and least potentially offensive term. I think it works fine for casual speech.

[mskitkat]

I hate the use of "girls." Unfortunately, the worst offenders in my company are people that there is no point in trying to ask them to change, and the professional consequences would suck. I can't even get the once cw to switch from saying "Oriental" to "Asian" no matter how many times I explain it's considered offensive.

The one that really made me see red was when I was at a business lunch. We were all dressed in suits. Very obviously business related. The server turns to me and says "and now what would the young lady like?" >.<

[Deleted]

Sept 24, 2013 22:17:28 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

Sept 24, 2013 22:10:56 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

There needs to be a professional version of "y'all." lol.

YES

Isn't "all" exactly that?

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2013 6:59:11 GMT -5 v said:

Sept 24, 2013 22:17:28 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

YES

Isn't "all" exactly that?

"I will see all tomorrow!" doesn't really work.

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2013 7:09:18 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

Sept 25, 2013 6:59:11 GMT -5 v said:

Isn't "all" exactly that?

"I will see all tomorrow!" doesn't really work.

Well, in that case "everyone" or "all of you" works just fine.

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2013 7:18:17 GMT -5 v said:

Sept 25, 2013 7:09:18 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

"I will see all tomorrow!" doesn't really work.

Well, in that case "everyone" or "all of you" works just fine.

If you say so. I am thankful to live in the South, where we do have a second-person plural pronoun. 

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2013 7:21:37 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

Sept 25, 2013 7:18:17 GMT -5 v said:

Well, in that case "everyone" or "all of you" works just fine.

If you say so. I am thankful to live in the South, where we do have a second-person plural pronoun. 

We have one up here too -- "you guys."  But it doesn't work in formal professional correspondence.

(Unlike "y'all" though, "you guys" is never used as a second-person singular pronoun -- that's always confused me about y'all)

[ewall]

I'm the only woman on my team. I refer to the men on the team as boys. Probably because they act like it most the time. They are also 2x my age at least so clearly they are not boys anymore, and we are just joking around. Levels the playing field for me being the only woman. I do get a kick out of the emails my boss sends - always addressed to ladies and gentleman. I'm the only lady.

[h]

Sept 25, 2013 7:24:53 GMT -5 v said:

Sept 25, 2013 7:21:37 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

If you say so. I am thankful to live in the South, where we do have a second-person plural pronoun. 

We have one up here too -- "you guys."  But it doesn't work in formal professional correspondence.

(Unlike "y'all" though, "you guys" is never used as a second-person singular pronoun -- that's always confused me about y'all)

But "girls" doesn't work in formal correspondence either. If the issue is an alternative to girls, I think guys, you guys, all, and y'all work. I can't think of any professional situations where one would have to use girls.

[leshoequeen]

We have a new employee who is calling everyone "hun". Its driving me crazy. Every time I hang up the phone with her I want to scream! I'd much rather be called "girls" than "hun".

[dexteroni]

Sept 25, 2013 1:28:20 GMT -5 h said:

Sept 24, 2013 22:17:28 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

YES

I think y'all is just as professional as calling groups of women girls. But I am sure living in Texas skewed my perspective on that issue. It is definitely used in casual speech around my office, and it is not uncommon for me to get informal work emails addressed to "y'all."

If by that you mean neither of those terms are professional (or really ever ok to use in any setting), I agree.

[h]

Sept 25, 2013 9:31:13 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Sept 25, 2013 1:28:20 GMT -5 h said:

I think y'all is just as professional as calling groups of women girls. But I am sure living in Texas skewed my perspective on that issue. It is definitely used in casual speech around my office, and it is not uncommon for me to get informal work emails addressed to "y'all."

If by that you mean neither of those terms are professional (or really ever ok to use in any setting), I agree.

I agree that neither is professional. I do think both are fine in certain contexts, though. I am not going to get up in arms about an email from a girlfriend that says "Do y'all want to grab drinks Friday night? I could really use some time with my girls!"

[KaraOrNot]

Today, supervisor sent my (young) co-worker an email that said "you go girl". I thought of this post when she told me. That is all.